how to say NO?

@fabjonah (140)
Philippines
January 28, 2011 11:30pm CST
i don't really know how to say NO. for instance, a friend of mine asks favor from me, though inside me i can't do such favor for him, but i still say YES. just that i won't disappoint him. just this morning, a friend texted me that he needs money 'coz today is his b-day. he ran out of money to celebrate his bday. im kinda disappointed for this person, coz he just remember me if he have favors to ask from me. though i told him that i'l think about it, but he texted me back with a tone like he's angry or something. so at the end, i gave him money. what do you think is the artistic way to say NO that will sounds fair to both of us? that next time around, i can really say NO to this person... just wondering...
1 person likes this
10 responses
@maezee (42003)
• United States
29 Jan 11
I think you should have confidence in yourself to say no. Remember that you need to respect yourself! And who you grant favors to is totally up to you. Don't allow anyone to make you feel bad about not doing them a favor (have you ever heard the phrase 'beggars can't be choosers'?). Anyway, I for the most part don't have a problem saying no to people.
@fabjonah (140)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
thanks much to your insights! yeah, that's true i lack confidence in saying NO to them. maybe, they notice that also that's why i'm their favorite person to ask for favors. i'l try to develop that attitude.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
24 Mar 11
Hi. fabjonah. I have been in many situations where I was afraid to tell a person "no". But in your case, I would have told this friend straight out, "no". Since he chose to have an attitude behind his tone, then I won't give him what he wants either. He would have never gotten any money out of me. Since he was rude to you, you did not have to give him any money. I know that it was his Birthday. He made you feel guilty because of this too. If he needs a favor next time, don't hesitate to tell him "no". He has to learn how to talk to you better than he does too.
• India
30 Jan 11
Very good question. Never tell the lie. Use your intelligence, be honest to express inability. Say sorry too. Just say that its not possible for u to give those things at the moment. And about the relation??? Everything will b fine after some time.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
29 Jan 11
"Sorry, I am short of money currently, or I was not be able to come up that much money myself right now. So, I can't really help you." That is all you need to say to him, no string attached. Well, if you think that person simply using you, you shouldn't answer his phone calls at all. Let him rot to hell.
@tvarasu10 (101)
• India
29 Jan 11
Instead of telling 'no' straight to your friend explain the situation or constraint in which you are unable to comply with the request.
30 Jan 11
Yupppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp, youre so right
@alokji (139)
29 Jan 11
i think this is a very hegitating work .many people can`t do this as me..but i think u wanna say no but with reason...u care ur friends not mind this.
• India
29 Jan 11
u r right but at the same time one should be very transperant in any relationship and hence u should not hesitate to say NO if u r not satisfied or not willing to help or u r helpless to help.Please learn to say NO in ur life or u will have tough time in life as all take undue advantqge now a days
• Philippines
29 Jan 11
hmmn, that has got to end...so what if that friend would get angry? a friend like that isn't worth the time of day anyway, and you need the money too, if you've got no money will that person let you borrow? and there's a big chance that that person doesn't pay you back the money he borrows from you...
@tiina05 (2317)
• Philippines
29 Jan 11
hello, It also happened to me, one time when my friend ask me to do what she wants then I just say YES that makes me think at the end that why did I give her a favor if she is not that kind of person to me.And then after that she will be get fight because she is not paying at all. Actually, I learned about that mistakes so all I do is when somebody ask me for money or for some favor I am just telling them the truth even they got mad at me at least I tell what kind of person is them. right? not bad to be frank? good luck friend,