Sufferings due to others

India
January 30, 2011 1:30am CST
Have you suffered a lot or faced extreme consequences due to someone else's mis deeds. Or you suffered the entire burden of error made by some body and you are still suffering due to it? Anything you can recollect?
6 people like this
16 responses
@jaiho2009 (38810)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
hello thanks, Indeed. I am and my kids are suffering for other's mistakes. The mistress is enjoying my ex-hubby salary while me and my kids are trying to survive what my salary can afford to give us. I wonder how that person can swallow all the foods she's taking in.
1 person likes this
@akangirl (2437)
• India
30 Jan 11
I wish all the bad luck to that woman.You are a strong woman.God will always help you.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jan 11
Hi Jai, Sorry to hear from you that. Though we know from myLot for a long time, I was unaware of your background. If your split is not because of you, why can't you approach court and ask for children's expense demanded. As long as he is the father of your children, he has the moral obligation to provide at least certain percentage of his income. Feel sad and I hope you will get more courage and will power to bring up your children whatever they required. Thanks for the response and best of luck. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38810)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
hello again thanks, I agree,my kids has all the right to demand their rights and support from their father. maybe you will think i am stupid,but i am too proud of myself to prove that i can raise my kids without his d*mn support (financially) But i am thinking about it,i even talked with my lawyer the last day about it. I am making steps slowly and sure,or else i will throw them both in jail (sheeeesshh)
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Jan 11
HI thanks, guess what- Two days ago I lost an assignment and today too I lost one... A Total of 350.00USD and an investment of 15 days of time already... Reason why I lost - I could not deliver the first module on time for the new project where I invested the time... and I lost the second because the client is worried that I will not be able to complete it on schedule.... Here is why Both are correct - At my place, over the last 3 days we are getting power supply
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38810)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
hello thesids, What made you think i can't do what i've said dear? D'ya really think i am a good girl? huh!...be careful when good girl turns bad (so scary that I,myself is afraid of what i can do beyond my capability (now i understand why dogs that seldom barks,really bites ) I hope i did not failed your expectation towards me (i am not that good,maybe i was a good girl..,i am not sure if i am still a good girl until now )
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Jan 11
@jaiho No No... I did not underestimate or you did not go beyond my expectations... I know we are forced to do things that dont make us or go with us and this is one of those cases... I know at heart you are a loving person and that is one reason I asked you about that... because knowing you I feel if you did that sometime or the other you would feel bad somewhere within and That is why I mentioned that And yes, you are a great mom, a great lady and one who understands what is best for your children... That is just a few reasons why I admire you
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jan 11
Hi Sid, Power supply is a major issue in all places. Here in Mumbai, earlier there were no issues over power supply. Even some years before, I cannot remember about a single day of power failure in 365 days time. If that is the case, we cannot expect it for 5 years or so. But things have change we got power cuts for 2 hrs. in the morning and around 3 hrs in the evening as well!! This is just 50 kms. away from the Mumbai metro areas. We are using power inverters at that time. Though it is little expensive, I suggest you to go for one inverters, which cost you initially little high and only use it for computers. As your voltage level goes down to 90 and all, I don't know how effective it can be. However, you need to depend some kind of sources for the same. As your life is linked to power supply, an alternative though is essential for you. One or two assignments you may lost. Similarly, if you lose others also, how you will survive? We can blame elec. dept. but they have ready answers also. But their answer are not a solution for your problems. You need to find your own way to resolve the issue. Solar electricity also dependable but it is highly expensive and the out put is not sufficient enough to run computers for long time and internet uses. Or else, change of place to a city area would be advisable but all are depend on your specific conditions only. However, think over and do the appropriate, you cannot expect the authorities would priorities your requirement and do the best for you. It is better to have the though from you and look for a permanent solution, for the overall betterment. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@velvet53 (9359)
• United States
30 Jan 11
Years ago when my son was quite young we suffered for awhile due to his dad's behavior. I grew pretty strong from this and picked my life up and went on. There was one other incident that was really bad but managed to get through it. I can't and won't let others affect me like that again. Life is too short and the pieces can be put back together.
1 person likes this
• India
1 Feb 11
Yes, these all the pieces of experiences what we have now. Always we need to be bold enough to encounter such incidents and those past experiences are to be the step stones to our new endevours. Hope you have the courage and will power to overcome all those incidents. Best regards and have a nice day. Thank-s
@velvet53 (9359)
• United States
1 Feb 11
Those steps can be hard but it can be done. I won't let what happened in my past interfer with my life now or what happens to me in the future. It is my life and I want to live it to the fullest.
• India
9 Feb 11
As per my belief, life is for only once and I think we should not spoil it in the name of some lost reasons. We should enjoy them with whatever we have and extend its full length with whoever is given us happiness and pleasure. May be it is son or father, we should accept the life and joy whoever is willingly ready to share with us. Thank-s
@erikmama (12935)
• United States
30 Jan 11
I am not sure that this is what you are asking, but I feel that I have faced plenty of suffering due to someone else's behavior, and yes, I am still going through it. What I am talking about is the relationship that i was in for nearly 7 years with a man who was both physically and mentally abusive to me. I am still suffering today bevause mental abuse is not something that just stops even when the physical abuse does. I think that he has done stuff to me mentally that will stick with me for the rest of my life.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jan 11
Hi dear, You are true. Sometimes, there may be such horrible incidents in one's life which never can forget. It may be so dependent or may be far off but the impact which makes in our mind or body cannot be tolerated. I know it is hard to explain it word by word, but can understand. Only thing what we can do is, be careful enough ourselves and behave accordingly. Sometimes, people will come to our life so pleasing and finally they piss and go. Sad of it, but our calculations and movements are important in such cases. Especially people who have a slender mind and passive people cannot suffer it any more. Thanks for your comments and I hope we can forget all such things and pray for not to repeat similar ones gain in our life. Have a nice day, Thank-s
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12935)
• United States
1 Feb 11
Yes, it is hard to explain. We are all different, and unless you have been in my shoes or me in yours, there is really no way to truly understnad a situation. Of course you may always be able to relate to someone or something, but that it about it.
@virdell1 (57)
• United States
30 Jan 11
During my lfe time I have dealt with the consequences of others actions. It seems as though people in a relationship become so intertwined financially that when one of them makes a poor choice it affects both. I have learned to keep a seperate bank account with enough money in it to get me out of financial problems if my spouse makes a bad choice. The utility bills are also divide into one or the others name to equally share responsibilities. My vehicle is in my name and his vehicle is in his name. My husband takes care of paying the bills and mortgage, but I take care of household costs and groceries. In the past when I was married to someone else, I ended up losing lots. Including my personal belongings. I raised my child as a single parent with no monetary support. I am a lot more cautious now.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Feb 11
Yes, experience is the best teacher and we should be always cautious about the thing happening around us. We cannot predict on anything especially which are related to finance. Hope you settled your issues and stable now. Note: [I got blocked myLot in my office and the id is provided the official one with myLot. as the mails and topic responses are passing through my official id, my office server is not passing out which all are sending from myLot and that is the reason why I could not respond to my friends comments in time. However, I will try from home to respond you all, but if get delayed, please excuse me]. Thank-s
@elitess (5077)
• Ipswich, England
30 Jan 11
Hello thanks I am guessing you are referring to relationships as you started it here so here goes: There was this one girl when i was in high school - the friend of a friend , you know that is almost always a bad combination, so she was like "i am into you and all" and then i get a sms from her telling me one day that she can't go in a relationship, after she specified she was into me because she- well i don't even remember what a lame excuse she invoked :) - This didn't affect me for too long as i had not invested too much in it at that time, but still it was annoying.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jan 11
Hi dear, Thanks for the comments. Yes, excuses are the best way out in such situations. However, I hope it didn't bother much about. Also, it will annoy us unwanted for quite some time. Regards, Thank-s
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
hi thanks, everything is is going to be a sad story am sure. mine is the same. i have this office mate who i have worked with for nearly 5 years. she was the senior cashier. she used to buy groceries when i do using my credit card and she pays on time. then one time she requested for a loan from the bank of Php10,000 also using my credit card which i obliged because i know she pays good. then suddenly, she was out of job because she used some money of the office and she was found out. she left her rented place and i could no longer find where she went and i was forced to pay for the money i didnt use. ann
• India
30 Jan 11
Hi dear, You got a company for you. Not exactly, but different. Yes, it is need for a change. Even I paid one similar way, to one of my friend (cannot say like) known for few years. He informed that he was in some trouble with money matters and unable to pay the housing EMIs in time. He proposes to sell out the apartment and it was almost done. As he has dome EMI dues and other issues, needed to settle and require some initial money for it. For my goodness, I took a personal loan form a bank around INR. 300,000 (3 lakh rupees) and helped him assuming that he will pay with in a month. In fact I already had other few loans already including my housing loan also. I took the loan and paid him in cash. He hand over few cheques also as a post dated, assurance. But after few days, when I contacted his mobile was switched off and unable to trace him. My further inquiries made me upset that he had not even a flat and was staying on live & licence. He did the same with some other people also. As I was knowing his wife and she behaved decently I though all are true. However, for the last 2.5 years I am paying the EMI to the bank and I need to wait for another 1.5 years to complete the loan. Yes, of course there is mistake in my part as well. I went through with trust and friendship. But for those who wanted to cheat, such open and hearty friendship is always considered as the best hold. As I have already mentioned the same earlier also with another occasion, I am not elaborating too much. However, my total life went to '0' level, once I defeated by this. As being a single earning member and so much of liability around, like me, should not go for such a financial (big) dealings with anyone without proper documentation or guarantee. It is my experience, but no use of saying all. Even though there are some source for me to find out his whereabouts, I need some money in my hand to follow the rest of the part. It is an experience when a best friends are cheated in such a way. Regards, Thank-s
• India
30 Jan 11
I am collecting the details. However, I am sure that I will catch hold of him, I am sure. I am making all the move for it. Also there are few others also alongwith me who have been cheated the same way by the same person. Thanks for your comments. Thank-s
@raj7shot (843)
• India
1 Feb 11
Ya of course i had met such incident in my love life.Its very tough time for me at the time due to some misbehave and rumors of one of her friend. I cant able to forget those times.Really its hurt me a lot.I dont think that there are peoples like this also in the world.
• India
9 Feb 11
Hi Raj, I don't know what is the incident. But still I can measure the intensity of the issue and the pain how much you must have suffered. The world around is so beautiful but if our steps on it is not in the proper way, we will definitely fell down. Experience is the best teacher and I think we need to get experiences to learn something in certain matters. However, forget all which is not meant to remember and go forward with more power an strength. A mistake is genuine and it can happen to everyone. Relax and be more gentle from the experience and try to forgive and forget which will make you broad minded and at the same time a nice man as well. Have a nice day and best regard, Thank-s
@raj7shot (843)
• India
9 Feb 11
Thank you friend, sure i will do and increase my confidence level and move up.. This will help me to increase my strength too...
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
9 Feb 11
hi, never been experience that due to somebody i suffer,for me if it will happen that to me, of course i will feel anger and mad of that person, but still i can forgive that person on the right time and place.and im so thankful that i never been experience that.
• India
9 Feb 11
Hi dear, I think you are so luck to become an exception. I don't know how many times I become the victim of such cruelties from friends and others. May be it is because of my nature and even after so much of advices from others also, I will still get into such troubles. Even I get angry to the person, but no hope, the person is absconding with my money!!! Thank-s
@Sanitary (3969)
• Singapore
2 Feb 11
It's normal, and common as far as i'm concerned. That's what most people are doing, especially in the service line industry. Customers make a fuss out of nothing, just because they are paying, they expect perfection from staffs. WHen things don't turn out as expected and customers are unhappy, staffs face the risk of being sacked when a complaint is made against them. If the company is one that does not protects its staff, then the staff will be sacked for something they have not done wrong.
• India
9 Feb 11
Hi dear, I understood what you mean. When you are working for a company, you will be dealing with the customers as per the instructions by the company and the way you are trained only. When the customer understanding and your services are not matching, the customers will become violent and you may be the victim for it, as the customers are directly dealing with people like you. I will just give an example. I need a copy of an agreement to be attested to give the same to a municipal office. As the original is with a bank and without the original, I will not get it attested from anywhere else. So I approached the bank and bank officer said, 'they don't have any authority to get it attested. As I was not satisfied with their reply, I called up customer care of the same bank and she said, walk into to any of the bank and approach the manager and as per the document records from the computer, the manger will give it attested. But I approached 3 different locations and branches, none of them were ready to do it. Here also, there were mismatch with the law with regard to the attestation. They are not properly trained or not ware of how or what to do in such situations. As I was in a desperate need of the attention finally I approached a notary officer he notarized and given me the document [after making a payment]. It was the duty of the bank to attest the document as the original was with them. As they were not ready to do it, I paid out and get it done with out the original!! Now you can assume whom to blame and what is what. So you need not worry on the things, if you say, 'yes', or 'no', it is from the perspective of the company's favour you are talking. You can tell the same to the customer also, that whatever you said is as per company policy and if they have any more clarifications, you need to visit any of the branches. [Become little lengthy. sorry for the same] Thank-s
1 person likes this
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
1 Feb 11
Yes, I've suffered for others deeds many times. My ex was reckless person and I always had to clean things up after him. I also had a lot of mixed up papers because my lawyer was very irresponsible and disorganized.
• India
9 Feb 11
Hi dear, I think everyone is so ditched in life by others. Here with this short discussion, I understood a fact that many of our myLot friends also a victim of such deeds. We always should be careful of such people and a minority of such people always trouble others in such ways. I hope your issues were resolved and now in a better position. When can I see these two hands to a beautiful face? This lore 2009 I am seeing since I joined with myLot. At leaset for one you can come with your own avatar? Will you? Thank-s
@margeryann (1853)
• United States
1 Feb 11
yes, I have plenty of times. I try to learn for it and forgive them but not forget to try to keep it from happening again. Have a good day!
• India
9 Feb 11
Yes, I should not do it again. But as per my nature, I will not learn from my experience. I tempted to do it and all my failure happened only because my extended help and now I got enough and more from all sides and still I am not quite, if someone come asking for some help, again I will try my best. It is quite stupid, but I just become like that. Sometime even I don't like me myself due to this nature. But after all, a help is help and my willingness is getting expiated. Also, as this is the form of case, if it is of about $1,000 and above? It got happened, what to do. Suffer - nothing else can do. Thank-s
@zeciram (161)
• Philippines
31 Jan 11
Hi! I suffered once due to the selfishness of one person. I carried the burden in my my heart for quite some time, more than a year i think. It made me act in ways that I cannot imagine I would. I became bitter and angry. I overcame it by accepting the fact the I cannot control other people. I cannot make them act the way that I think is right. Though I would not want to experience it again, It made me a stronger person. It really changed how I see life. No one deserves to suffer because of somebody else's misdeeds but it happens.
• India
9 Feb 11
Hi dear, I am also a direct victim of the same and I suffered a lot and still suffering. My blind faith confidence on one of my friend, I to additional personal loan and extended my help without any guarantee. However, he cheated and run away with the money and I am paying to the bank from my pocket. How is it. It is from the last 3 years and I need to suffer another 2 more years to come out of the bank debt. My only issue is that I never learn from experience, if any one ask me again, I will try something else to help them also. What a stupid I am???!!
@fjclolazy (859)
• China
23 Feb 11
Hi,dear, I have never suffered something bad due to others.Coz I'm always careful about things happen in my life.I'm good at avoiding problems.Isn't good things?Lollll~~~
• Pamplona, Spain
21 Feb 11
Hiya thanks, Now there are quite a few misdeeds done by other People so called Family that I am still suffering because of them. Too long and boring to list here. I am working on forgiving them but that is not as easy at is sounds. I can say out loud I forgive them but inside someone is saying to you no you don´t you are not forgiving them at all. I don´t know how long it will all take to clear and this has happened quite a time back too. Hope you are not suffering anything like that thanks or anyone else come to think of it.
@Sreekala (18131)
• India
1 Feb 11
Hello thanks, I don’t think I am suffering because of others mistakes. If I am suffering anything bad it is only because of my mistake. Why should I blame others? If we suffer for other’s mistake means we allowed others to do the mistake, don’t you think like that? I believe that a person having the habit of blaming others, want to hide their inability. You should admit your mistake instead of blaming others.