How open are you in front of someone new?

@piperu (113)
Indonesia
January 31, 2011 7:57pm CST
I met this guy from online forum. After chat, sms and our first meet, I felt uncomfortable. He asked me a lot of questions, personal questions. I told him my story but I only knew a little about him. He closed about himslef. I don't like the way he did. He said that he doing this because he has interest with me. I wonder, how open are you in front of someone you know for couple of weeks? Do you like to share?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@allamgirl (2145)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
Well, it depends. If the person shares about himself too, I try to share something about me as well, but only to an extent. I don't tell him every single detail, just the general story. If time goes and I get to know that person more, then that's the time that I share more.
@piperu (113)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 11
Yes, basically I'm quite open and I don't mind to share with someone new, but only the story I really want to tell. And there is must be feed back from that person. So I don't feel like being interogate.
@allamgirl (2145)
• Philippines
5 Feb 11
Yeah, if there's no feedback or if he doesn't ask anything about you either, it kind of feels like you're prying into that person's life.
• Ireland
2 Feb 11
Hi, I am from the old school of (love many and trust few). I would share very little of my personal story and issues until I had firmly established a relationship with the person, Even then I feel it is risky as the information could be used at a later stage to hurt you.In my personal and professional experience I have found that all of us humans are manipulative and can intentionally or unintentionally use our own words to hurt us. I would recommend caution about disclosing personal details. Then as I am distrustful of people in general I would question your friend not sharing--I would be asking why--and then I would be wondering about his response when you brought it to his attention. Hope this gives you food for thought
@piperu (113)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 11
Halloo.. Thanks for the advice. I only knew this guy for couple of weeks and I don't want to share or talk about myself which I think is not relevant. I don't see any connection even though he said that because he got interest in me. You're right, we have to be caution. Have a nice day :)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
I think there are people like that..Not really inquisitive but they are just fond on asking questions and talk a little about themselves..Maybe that guy thinks you are special that's why he keeps trying to become conversational in a way that he asked lots of question about you..Maybe he asked personal questions since he wants to know you better unaware that he's not sharing anything about himself. Even I don't talk too much about myself..I would rather ask questions than talking about myself. Maybe we are the type of people who thinks that we are not interesting..*lol* But not sharing anything even if you are asking questions--then that's a different story. And just a reminder..be careful always.Don't trust people immediately. know them fist before you decide to have an "eyeball".
@piperu (113)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 11
It make sense. But when you're in conversation, better doing in 'two way directions'. Always give feed back. There is time when I want to talk and share but also there is time for me just to response and listen.
@trader22 (233)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 11
I'm not open. First impression means nothing to me because it can be an act. I know how annoying it can be when people don't share but its all about trust. Instead be so open with him why not go at his pace.
@piperu (113)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 11
emmm yeah, you don't know someone from first impression. But sometime we're just trying to be polite and friendly by doing conversation.
@beeh13u (1040)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
Hey piperu, I know what you mean. Guys like to listen to girls talk. I don't know if it's in their nature. Before, I talked a lot about myself and I later learned that I should limit my answers/stories. I want to save some for the next day or the next. My friend told me that some guys are bored if a girl talks a lot about themselves. That's why I shut my mouth sometimes.
@piperu (113)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 11
Agree with you :) If we talk too much and then soon we're going to run out of conversation. And when we dont have any to tell about, then guy will lose his interest.
• India
1 Feb 11
Some people are really very inquisitive about others. Some go to such an extent in this that they actually start irritating people. It seems that you also have some interest in him. You like him, it seems. Otherwise, not many people can endure such an inquisitive fellow who wants to know everything about others but says little about himself. Are you sure he's not a terrorist or anything like that? It is hard to believe people you usually meet online. I don't give them my phone number. Even if they are not always terrorists, they often prove to be very much irritating. I am open to everyone, but that doesn't mean that I feel any need to share my very personal information in conversation.
@piperu (113)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 11
At the beginning, I want to get to know him more. That's why I dont mind to tell my story. But soon, I realized he is not fair, and it's not usefull to share with him. I felt like in the middle of counseling, with questions-answers session :)
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
2 Feb 11
Not all the people you meet on the net,those are kind and it is important to take care as we give our personal information such as addresses, pictures, phone numbers, etc.I advise you as to be more cautious next time, not to be exposed to any risk. Take care!
@polaris77 (2020)
• Bacau, Romania
1 Feb 11
Generally I'm very cautious when I meet someone for the first time and try to measure my words and not be very open,but there were cases in which it was very easy for me o get along with some people and it didn't take too much for us to trust each other.Of course,these cases are rare,and that makes these people so precious to me.But generally I dn't open my mouth and soul to any stranger very quickly and that's the right attitude,I guess.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
1 Feb 11
I am usually cautious in front of someone new. Once we get to know each other, than i will let my true self come through. I was always a shy child so i guess i still have a bit of that inside me yet.
• United States
1 Feb 11
I think that would make me very uncomfortable too. Part of developing a relationship is getting to know each other, not just one talking and divulging all thier information. It sounds less safe the more I think about it.. be careful!