Is This True??

@buenavida (8345)
Sweden
February 4, 2011 12:57pm CST
...that the walls we build around us to keep out the sadness and pain, also keep out the joy. I just found this thought in a discussion. Makes me wonder how it would be possible to tear down our walls so that we would not get too much hurt. Can we prevent being hurt if we use the experience we already have from life? What do you think??
3 people like this
12 responses
@Hatley (164448)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Feb 11
hi buenavida being hurt and being sad, being happy and being glad are all part of our human existence. We can easily tear d own those walls by being optimistic and seeing everything in a positive manner. The law of abundance will come to those who are positive and open to good things in life.Walls can tumb le and no you will not get hurt as being positive wards off unpleasant feelings so we can live a much better life.
3 people like this
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
4 Feb 11
Hi, Hatley I know you have a lot of life experience, and have practiced the positive attitude. I am sure it means a lot if we can keep it in our lives. And we could make a special effort to be surrounded with positive people as much as we can. One of my friends once gave a talk about relationships, and he showed a white paper with a black spot on. He asked what we see. Most of us saw the black spot. But then he told us that most of the paper is white. We often tend to focus on the bad things in others and forget to see the many good qualities in them. Most people have many good sides even if they don´t always show them.. Thanks for your response..
1 person likes this
@wiggles18 (2523)
• Canada
4 Feb 11
You can't gain safety without sacrificing some of your freedoms. It's like looking at a goldfish in a fish bowl; sure it is safe, and fed all the time; but look at the quality of life it has... I feel that is what humanity is becoming...
2 people like this
4 Feb 11
it is what it is
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
4 Feb 11
Hi, wiggles The gold fish is a good illustration. Not much quality of life... If we let the gold fish free, it will have more risks but also a much more interesting life. If we teach the gold fish to be careful, it might avoid some risks when it is set free..
@wiggles18 (2523)
• Canada
4 Feb 11
Aha! I was hoping someone would bring up the teaching part! :D Kudos to you... That is how I view things when it comes to laws. I say we should not have all of these laws, which do more constraining on us than protecting; but, instead, we should all be learning how to cooperate with each other. The laws I find to be more of a temporary-band-aid type deal; they really don't fix anything. Learning is the way to go.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
4 Feb 11
Doesn't building a wall give the pain a much stronger presence as it has left its mark!! Instead of confining oneself its better to just let go!! Allow the pain, sadness and hurt to flow out of you!! Or better yet channel it out of your body! That would give you more control of your reactions and more able to deal with whatever life has in store for you! Its not as easy as it sounds though!!!
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@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
4 Feb 11
Hi, mysticalextasy You are probably right. The walls might maintain the pain, sort of conserve it. Have you any suggestion how to channel it out in a constructive way?? Could listening to others with similar problems help?? You are right, it is not easy, but maybe a challenge we could learn to handle.. Thanks for your response
• Pakistan
5 Feb 11
I would probably bury myself in work or find another outlet like writing about it and listening to others in similar situations and also helping them!! And yes its a challenge we really should take up learning!
1 person likes this
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
5 Feb 11
I especially like the suggestion to help others. It could be a good thing to not be alone in a situation that is painful and we see that we are not alone. Writing can be a therapy too - we can get out the feelings that way. Thank you for your thoughts..
• Pamplona, Spain
5 Feb 11
Hiya buenavida, I had a Friend that told me that she had built a wall of stone around her Heart as to keep out any more heartbreaks too. I can understand her in a short time she has lost her Mother and her Husband and not so long back her Father too. It´s difficult to tell someone like that that they should not be doing that. I said to her to take her time and let life heal it. But that could take Years too. Each one of us is different. We can try to open our Hearts even if it´s only every so often and see how we feel. Not everyone feels joyful every Day of his life either. If I am feeling down seeing as I have not got any Walls in particular that I am aware of feeling of Joy reaches me quickly and I can snap out of that down feeling. But there were times long time back when it was not so easy for me to do that.
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
5 Feb 11
I can understand your friend, losing people you love can be very painful and it will take time before one is ready to let someone inside the walls. A true friend can help in a situation like this by just listening with empathy and being there when needed. You really gave your friend a good piece of advice to take time and let life heal it. It is great that you can feel joy now. Thank you for your thoughts..
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
11 Mar 11
Hiya buenavida, Still hanging in there to keep cheerful although there have been a couple of emotional Storms for me to handle from other People. My Friend is doing much better now from what I hear. I hope she is as she does not write and does not phone so I can only guess what is going on. She will indeed need time to heal all that as I loved her Mom as if she was my own too. She was such a lovely Person in life.
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@1hopefulman (35016)
• Canada
5 Feb 11
This not necessarily true. Since we live in a dangerous world, we cannot leave our doors open. We must close the doors and windows and control what comes in. We must constantly be on guard. Like the airports, everyone and everything wanting to get on an airplane must go through careful examination and scrutiny. Life is not only about intimate love relationships. It is about a relationship with God. It is about freedom. It is about friends. It is about things a person enjoys. It is about family. We are in control of our happiness and happiness has components that each individual chooses. We learn from our past experiences and know how deep an individual can cut. We know that everyone is not the same. Still one never knows what some9ione may do. There are no guarantees. People change for the better and for the worse and we never know which way they will go. Who would have thought that one of God's angels (Satan) would turn so maliciously against his heavenly father? Who would have thought that an apostle chosen after a long night of prayer would betray God's son for a few insignificant pieces of silver? Reality is reality, it cannot be ignored or forgotten!
1 person likes this
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
5 Feb 11
Hi, my friend 1hopefulman As always, you have a wide perspective on things. I believe the only reliable relationships we have is our God and his son Jesus Christ. And the Bible tells us to not trust the human beings as they might be gone in a short while. Yes, as we are different, we may need different kinds of walls around us and they do not need to mean that we isolate ourselves or shut out all joy from life. The thought I started this discussion with, seems to be kind of black and white, but as many individuals have commented on it, we can see lots of shades and colors.. Thank you for your thought-provoking comment!!
@1hopefulman (35016)
• Canada
8 Feb 11
Walls are for a protection but we can also build a door in the wall and we can carefully and selectively decide who comes in. While I have many friends, I've decided that I can be happy without anyone so close that they could seriously harm me. But I have so much to do that the days just fly and they are filled with joy and satisfaction. I wish you well!
1 person likes this
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
12 Feb 11
Yes, some kind of caution is necessary in these days in all kinds of relationships.. Can we even trust ourselves? But I am sure we´ll see the day when we will be able to trust every single soul on this earth - and in the spiritual world too.. Until then, we can work on deserving the trust from each other, at least to some extent. Thank you for being a great friend..
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
5 Feb 11
I can't think that much.Why it should be a wall?Why should we create one for ourselves? Just get through everything that comes to our life whether we like it or not.That is the taste of life.
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@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
5 Feb 11
Hi, CTHanum Many have had so painful experiences that they don´t want to go through such things again. So they build a kind of wall around them that will filter out some things and persons. That is understandable, but time heals, and they may open up at least partly. We also need to be aware of the dangers around us so that we can act wisely and can avoid unnecessary pain. Thanks for your response..
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
6 Feb 11
Oh..that kind of wall~Yeah sometimes we had create the wall unconsciously and when it lead to mistakes then we take it as lessons to act wisely in the future.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
5 Feb 11
cant think of whay anyone would build walls around them selfs the pain and hurt would get to you anyhow and with no wll joy and happiness can find you easier!
1 person likes this
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
5 Feb 11
Hi, Lakota I think there are many kinds of walls we surround us with. Some of them may be very wise walls, that were built from our experience, so that we don´t get fooled too easily. As the world is not always so kind to us, we have to know how to protect ourselves. Joy and happiness will still find us as there are a lot of kind and friendly people left.
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@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
5 Feb 11
YEs there is. kind and freindly people still left
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@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
4 Feb 11
I do think its true, but if you are careful you can have joy without all the pain and sadness - oh, you'll still have some, but maybe not as much as you would if you left yourself vulnerable to everything...
1 person likes this
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
4 Feb 11
Hi, ElicBxn That is true, we can avoid a lot of pain - and life experience gives us more wisdom to do it. This reminds me of what a wise man once wrote: "A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences." Proverbs 22:3 (New Living Translation) Thanks for your response!!
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@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
5 Feb 11
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@marguicha (106351)
• Chile
4 Feb 11
It is almost imposible to keep away the pain from our lives. But the pain is bigger is we have loved and lost. Yet the experience of loving is so awesome that it is far more important than the experience of loss. Joy and sadness are part of loving. To build a wall so as to not be sad is shuting out the thing that givews meaning to our life.
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4 Feb 11
pain is part of life.
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@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
4 Feb 11
Yes, the experience of loving is worth the risk of loss. Perhaps we can prevent some of the pain by preparing us in some way. It must be easier for those of us who believe in a God who will solve our problems in the future and gives us strength now. Thank you for your thoughtful response..
@drannhh (15241)
• United States
12 Feb 11
Certainly, some walls are like that, but we cannot and should not try to tear down all of the walls, I think. Usually walls are there to keep out the cold and the storms and burglars and that sort of thing. But I think you are talking about personal relationships.
1 person likes this
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
12 Feb 11
Hi, Ann nice to see you! Yes, the question was about relatioships and as I got many different responses, it just shows that we seem to need different kinds of "walls" around us. I think the important thing is to not build them too high so that we stop all kinds of realtionships. One suggestion was to build a door in the wall and just let selected persons come inside.. We cannot be too naive, as we live in a dangerous world. Also - the Bible warns us for those who are not good company - they can harm us by their influence and of course in other ways. Thank you for adding your thoughts to this discussion..
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
5 Feb 11
There is a wall I know that if you built around you such sadness and pain will prevent but the joy always with you, really your have, what is that.. A Wall of Faith to our God... thanks and see you around
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
5 Feb 11
That sounds like a good wall to build, as faith in God will help us in any situation we can come into..
4 Feb 11
When you build a wall around you, pain won't escape and love won't come in.
@buenavida (8345)
• Sweden
4 Feb 11
Hi, banksyfan You might be right, if pain makes us build walls, it will still be there inside. So it would be better tear down the walls - maybe we could find someone who is willing to listen and ease the pain that way and help us tear down the walls...