Am I in danger?

China
February 5, 2011 7:17am CST
I don't know if you can call these things "affairs". I began chatting to my internet friends after I'd had my computer,and then my wife learned chatting on line. Half a month later,she went to town to meet a net friend,he works in a steel factory.And one month later,another net friend invited her to have dinner together while she's stocking cloth for her booth in the city.The third time she went to a party of her net friend group 20 days ago! As long as I spoke of my wife's dating,the listeners always got shocked,of course I knew what they meant. I know my wife love me and love the family,so I never stop her.I'm not in danger,am I?
5 people like this
31 responses
@thekelz (277)
• United Kingdom
5 Feb 11
At least she's telling you whats happening. And not doing it behind your back so that's a good thing. It's comes down to trust you have to trust her like you are doing, you can't start not trusting her that will make things worst. My advice to you( and probably to myself) is to start paying more attention to your wife, start making her the most important thing in your life, mare her feel happy and wanted. I'm pretty certain people who feel wanted ,desired, and loved by their partners don't cheat. So if you excuse me I'd better go massage my wife's neck and tell her how much I love and appreciate her.
1 person likes this
• China
5 Feb 11
Thank you!You've really come to the point,and I can see you've been loving your partner and well know how to love her.In fact I entirely trust her,so I never worry about where she's been.
• India
6 Feb 11
You are really correct... He is very much faithful in his wife.. Thats the main thing we have to maintain in a relation in the present society....
6 Feb 11
Oh, you love her very much. So its a problem for you.its nothing.
1 person likes this
• China
7 Feb 11
I know,and I'll tide it over.Thank you so much.
• United States
5 Feb 11
Trust is important in any relationship. However the fact that you are questioning it - sends a danger signal for the relationship. Even if she's not doing any thing wrong. I do not talk to married men on line. If I chat with them I include much quesitoning about thier wives and family. I wouldn't even think about meeting a married man alone - it's not a good setup. Why were you not invited to the party? I have an online friend and we are in a group that is planning on meeting later this year. But our entire families are included... that's safer.
• China
6 Feb 11
Your advice is great.After she returned home from the party she told me that she had a great fun.And she said if I were with her she would have been more happy,that way I could have met all the online friends there.Maybe I'll accompany her to go next time!Thank you,Miss!
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
6 Feb 11
I think she is probably telling you the truth. I think that you are probably getting your doubts from listening to others and 2nd guessing your gut-feeling. I think that maybe going to these events and meeting these people would put your mind at ease although from what I hear...you deep down know the answer...she's being faithful, I think and deep down...so do you. Don't create a problem where none exists.
• China
7 Feb 11
Thank you!I'm still clear enough,I won't guess my wife for no reason,though I have a bad temper.Please relax,my friend!
@zralte (4186)
• India
5 Feb 11
First of all, don't jump to conclusions. The best thing in my opinion would be to have a discussion with your wife. Just tell her how you feel about her meeting her online friends. If there is nothing going on, she probably would like to introduce you to them. If she does not want you to know them or meet them, that would probably tell you why she does not want you to.
• China
5 Feb 11
Yes,that's a good way.Frankly she has asked me to meet them,but I refused.I thought I would be very embarrassed in front of them.
@zralte (4186)
• India
5 Feb 11
Don't feel embarrass to meet her friends. It would make you and your wife much closer if you know each other's friends.
• China
5 Feb 11
Ok,I'll accompany her to meet her online friends.
@aeiou78 (3457)
• Malaysia
11 Feb 11
She shouldn't meet the net friends if she is really love her family. May I know the reason she went to meet those people? She is supposed to spend her time with the children and her husband. For me, I shall request her to stop all online chatting and dating if she appreciate of what she have at the moment. Recently, a statistic showed that the social network named facebook has become the marriage killer in the country, Singapore. I hope everything will not be too late for you and your wife to save your family.
• China
11 Feb 11
Of course she went meeting her online friends just for fun,and befor that each time she told me,so I never blamed her.And she said she would bring me together with her to meet her friends,that'll be more fun.I hope so,and I hope I'm safe.Thank you,my friend!
@aeiou78 (3457)
• Malaysia
11 Feb 11
Fun to have adultery? No way friend. She told you and invited you to join in now. I am not sure if she will be the same later. Just watch out buddy.
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
6 Feb 11
You need to stop your wife doing that, friend. Because you don't know the consequences after all. husband and wife must not be free to date someone they like because it will interfere a good relationship of both husband and wife
• China
7 Feb 11
That's true.If a couple love their family,neither of them must date those people known on line.
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
Your wife must not date anybody friend but you alone...
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
6 Feb 11
I have never or will never go met somebody i met online. My fear is running into sombody like the boston strangler. You never know who you are meeting. I suggest you go with her when she does this. At least the first few meetings. Bring pic of the kids in case some guy has the wrong ideas.
• China
7 Feb 11
Right,also I worried about that.Your advices are very useful for me,I'll listen to you and do as you told me.Thank you,my friend!
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
8 Feb 11
If she objects to you going with her to these meeting i would suggest to her the reasons mentioned. I dont know why she would not think of them. Meeting people from the internet isa scarry thing. Anyone can say they are a way but to actually met and get to know them they can be completely different and sometimes dangerous. Stranger danger is for all ages, not just children.
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
6 Feb 11
You know her the best. And it seems like it's harmful since she's telling you the truth, right? And if you trust her and she trusts you, it shouldn't be so harmful.
• China
6 Feb 11
Yes,my gut feeling has told me that ther's nothing wrong.I've checked her when we fell in love.And as a husband,I cannot be too arbitrary.Right?
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
6 Feb 11
If it's making you uncomfortable, I think you wife has all the right to know your feelings. But it depends on what your agreements are... there is not 'right' way to be a husband.. only an honest way. But communication usually clears misunderstanding that we make big all on our own.
@marguicha (81903)
• Chile
5 Feb 11
This is a question I can only answer from my age and culture. My husband would be VERY angry if I did that. But then, I would never dream of doing it. This is dating, something that (as I see it) only single people do). It sounds odd that all her friends are males. I don´t understand what you mean by danger. The use of that word by you means that you DO think you are in danger. It is something you must decide by yourself. Happy posting!
• India
5 Feb 11
Meeting unknown net friends always is not good. All people are not good. Tell your wife to be careful and give company to her so that she won't feel to meet unknown persons and become happy with you...
• China
6 Feb 11
I mean that I don't want to has been in danger,and I believe I am not.She doesn't have extra time for her to stay long with her friends each time when she goes to the city.And she knows what she has to prevent.Thank you both.
@Zer0Stats (1316)
• India
5 Feb 11
I have always been amazed by the fact that people change a lot over time.But if you think,your love is strong enough from both sides that could handle your relationship then you don't have to worry about much else.If you can't bear seeing her go meet her online friends then just tell her what you feel in a nice way.
• China
5 Feb 11
I think I can bear her meeting them,I believe she never turns against me.
@Zer0Stats (1316)
• India
5 Feb 11
Then just leave things on their own.Cheers!!!
26 Feb 11
The positive side is that she's telling you all the things she did. It only shows she has nothing to hide. My advice is that you should limit her meet ups with her online friends. You see to her she's just seeking for new friends but for some its a whole new outlook. Take time to talk and go out with her. Maybe she's just longing for the times new two went out on a date. try something new and exciting I'm sure that would get her attention and maybe forgetting her net friends.
• China
22 Mar 11
Ok,i'll do my best to please her,and i'll be alright.Have fun!
• China
11 Feb 11
Try to do something with your wife,and reduce your "internet chatting time". Although you love her and she loves you also,no one can predicts the future. You can make surprised time for her,maybe your life need some enthusiasm. Good luck for you~
• China
11 Feb 11
I know God will bless me.If there's no trust at all between a couple,getting married is entirely meaningless.In fact,we always give enthusiasm each other,I know she loves me and the family,I'll be ok.Thanks a lot,my friend!
@34momma (13918)
• United States
7 Feb 11
do you mean in danger of losing your wife? i would say if she is telling you where she is going and with who then you should be ok. i don't know how comfortable i would be if my husband was out meeting other women from online. i just don't know the intentions of that other person. if we all meet together then i would feel better
• China
7 Feb 11
Yes,each time when she returned home she told me that.So I've been felt all right,I trust her all my life.She can have her fun and I cannot get after her day and night.She said she would bring me together to meet her friends.Good luvk to you!
@dainy1313 (2354)
• Leon, Mexico
7 Feb 11
Hi Oldsix691418 I not the kind of wife that enjoy meeting in a cafe other men other than my husband. My mother was, and my parents are divorced by now. I enjoy going to the church and meeting apostolate friends there. All in church and in church area. And everything is around church work. I would not enjoy that my husband meet somebody in a cafe, I wouldn´t enjoy that my husband meet internet friends. I wouldn´t allow it to my husband. That´s my personal way. Blessings!... Dainy
• China
7 Feb 11
Right,I can't share my lover with others,At this side,all couples must be selfish,or your marriage and family may be ruined some day.Do you agree?Good luck to you!
@margeryann (1853)
• United States
7 Feb 11
I don't know that would be strange to me if my husband started hanging out with a female that he met online. I don't think I would like it. Even if it was innocent the other person might not think so and try something with him.
• China
7 Feb 11
Mmm,what you said really makes sense!It's the best for everyone not to meet online friends.I'll try my best to persuade her not to hang out with them again.Many thanks,Miss!
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
I dont think so,For as long as she tells you where she's going and who's going to be with her!You might as well join her so you would meet her net friends
• China
7 Feb 11
You're so right!If there's no trust between a couple,there won't be happiness and silence.A husband can never be too hard on his wife,right?Yes,of course I'll go with her to meet her online friends next time,and she's ever invited me.Many thanks,my friend!
• United States
7 Feb 11
well do you trust your wife? that is the question there but in my eyes she is cheting on you but she is telling you all about it so my be you should start asking her some question
• China
7 Feb 11
Thanks for your help,my friend.I'll try to do as what you told me.
• Calgary, Alberta
6 Feb 11
If she is not going to meet up with her internet friend then its safe, Though I know a certain guy who works abroad and while he is not around, his wife got bored and chatted on the internet then suddenly she met up with the guy and have an affair with him while her husband is working his butt off to provide a better life for her.
• China
7 Feb 11
That's a rather bad news for that guy!But I'm sure it's not for me.Thanks for your advice and good story.Good luck!
@RobtheRock (2485)
• United States
6 Feb 11
I agree with some of these myLotters that you can trust her. I also agree that you give her more attention and praise. I have a friend I used to work with and now we are online friends. Sometimes we go out with others to dinner and talk about our old work place. There's no danger there. I think the danger might be that one day your wife might meet an online friend who is dangerous. So she should be very cautious. And why not bring you along with her sometimes?
• China
7 Feb 11
Wow,I'm so thankful to all my friends here.Yes,I had told her what she had to be careful of,and she said she knew what to do.After returning,she felt it's very regrettable not to bring me along!Good luck,my friend!
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
6 Feb 11
Hi dear, the question to the answer is 50:50. As long as I don't know your partner and her nature, it is practically difficult have a clear answer to it. In my experience, if you name with a female and enter into a chatting site, within a minutes time, they will come to start with s*x topics. If the our side is slightly weak, they will tactfully deal th discussions and bring them to their line. It is my experience of the previous night. So, the frequent out goings and long day's plans may lead to any unwanted situations. But all are depend on your understanding about your partner only. If it all related to some kind of business promotions, or anything (means have a clear intention) for the partying, they it can be valued. But just for fund and get-together, it should be controlled (not to stop). Also, a dutiful and caring ladies won't prefer such things in so much of demand. In this specific case, as being her husband, you need to evaluate the situation based on all other facts. Thank-s
• China
6 Feb 11
Thanks for your detailed description.Here from the friends at myLot I have got many good advices that can deal with my problem.I believe I will be safe from now on.