What can I do?

China
February 6, 2011 8:39am CST
There's such an old man,he's frank,dogged,dilligent,kind and not to bear grudges. He never plays mah-jongg or paper card,but he has labouring as his joy.He never stops farming even though he's more than 60 years old,mainly he grows paddy-rice and canes.Each year the other old people his age in the same village have to ask their sons for help,but he has rice to sell,and his son never has to buy any from the market. About one year ago he bought himself insurance providing for the aged,and the next year he bought his wife's,his son didn't have to give him even 1 cent! And now he's already 72 years old,but there's no sign that he will give up farming,though his children have persuaded him for some times. He's my pa!What can I do,my friends?
5 people like this
20 responses
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
7 Feb 11
Hi Oldsix, Let him be. It's what he wants to do and it probably keeps him fit emotionally and physically. He sounds like an amazing man. He'll know when the time for him to quit comes around.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Feb 11
I agree.Each time we persuaded him,he always accepted and said 'I know what to do'.I can see he is a hard working man and fooling around cannot bring him any fun.
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
He's such a hardworking father and nobody could stop him.He enjoys what he is doing.He has the passion for farming. For as long as he is able to do it, let him be coz that's what make him active and alive.There are people who are used to working all their life, get bored, weak and sick once they stop.Let him enjoy what he loves to do.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Feb 11
Good idea.As his son,I can't dispossess his right to farm,besides he has farming as his joy.So I'd better let him do what he loves.
@marguicha (90619)
• Chile
6 Feb 11
You have a wonderful father and you should be proud of him. If he wants to farm, let him do so. It seems that he is wise enough as to understand the importance of the quality of life. He should be a model to follow, by you, by his granchildren and by all the people who know him.
• China
7 Feb 11
Yes,I'm deeply thankful to him.The best way for him to live his life is labouring,that's his enjoyment.Here in my town we can see,he's truely the model among those people his age.
@marguicha (90619)
• Chile
7 Feb 11
And I hope he will be the model for the new generation.
• China
7 Feb 11
Yes,I'm learning from him.Thank you.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
You know, friend. You cannot stop old farmer doing those things. Because I am telling you if they stop working they will immediately suffer weak on their body. That is their happiness and exercise to their body for being healthy... My grandpa is also like your father. When he stop going to the field. He is suddenly weaken and suffer many illnesses and die at the age of 85
• China
8 Feb 11
Wow,another good advice and a nice example!I'll listen to you and never stop my father from doing farming,and I'll help him as possible as I can.Thank you so much.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
okay, friend. Thanks too for appreciating my advice..have a great Day!
@owlwings (38895)
• Cambridge, England
6 Feb 11
He enjoys it. It is his LIFE, in his terms. Prevent him from doing what he loves doing and he will die. He would NOT enjoy sitting around, doing nothing, because that is not what is HIM. One day he will, maybe, die in the rice field or at the market. That will be sad for you, perhaps, but he will die happy and fulfilled! Rejoice in having a father who is active and productive at his age. Maybe, one day, you, too, will feel the same as he!
• Indonesia
7 Feb 11
This is what I mean in my previous post.. I am totally agree with owlwings
• China
7 Feb 11
Quite right!I can't stop him from doing what he likes,I'll obey him and care him as possible as I can.In fact,his elder brother lives with him and labours together with him all the time,he's 80 years this year and never stops farming.Thank you for your good advice,my friend!
• China
6 Feb 11
You must be proud of your father and should make your father happy. He is a great man and really doing work hard. I think he loves to work so you should respect him and allow him to work. I think your father is a sign of work hard farmer. Good luck!
• Indonesia
7 Feb 11
It is easy to understand if you as his son worried about his health and if he gets tired from work in old time. But if you forced him to let go his job, you would only take his dream. You might do not know if he would be very bored if he got nothings to do. Farming gives him something to do and benefits you and family, he would like to show that he could bring something useful for the family. Farming might seems little for other but for him, it might be a reason to stay happy and live the life.
• China
7 Feb 11
Yes,I'm very proud of my father,so when he is busy harvesting,I always help him,though I'm not so stong as him.And I'll let him do what he wants to do.Thank you two!
@EdnaReyes (2628)
• Philippines
9 Feb 11
Lucky you! You got a good Pa in him. He's one of a kind so please make him happy as long as you can. Make him feel he's loved and always loved by you and the family. Take care of him and again you're such a lucky man. Mine, I lost him months ago, I miss him more now!
• China
9 Feb 11
I'm sorry to hear that your pa's gone,but no one can be alive forever,right?And thank you for your care and good advice.In fact the others of my families and I are doing our best to make him happy,persuading him to farm less,but not stopping him from labouring.I think he'll be ok.Thank you,my friend!
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
9 Feb 11
Let him work! I'm sure he'll be happier. As you say, he is not into games, but he has to do something. I know whereof I speak, as I'm his age and more. Maybe you could switch his interest to growing vegetables or flowers. If you make him stop working with his hands, he'll swivel up and die.
• China
9 Feb 11
Good!And we have adviced him to farm less,that way he cannot overload.As I know,my pa really knows when to work and when to rest,and he's said,'I'll be alive till I'm 102 years old!'I hope so.Many thanks!
@pokumon (647)
• United States
9 Feb 11
Let him farm for however long he can and wants to. It's great exercise for him and keeps him in shape I bet. He will retire if he wants to, but looks like he never wants to retire. Be happy that he is so active and don't nag him.
• China
9 Feb 11
Greatly right!Leting him be is the best way to help him,or he will not find his joy,that will do him harm.Thank you.
@tjades (3593)
• Jamaica
7 Feb 11
That is so nice. My advice... Do nothing. Just allow him to continue doing what he loves and what makes him happy and enjoy him as much as you can. A friend of my has a 97 yr old grand mother who remarried at 95yrs and she and her hubby still enjoy doing a bit of farming. They are two very proud old people who refuse to accept help from the family though they have been trying to persuade them to allow them to do some work on the house. He now says he just leave her be and go by instead to just sit and chat with her, just enjoy her company. I would recommend you do the same. Just enjoy your parents and not try to change them.
• China
8 Feb 11
Quite right.You gave me a good example and a good advice!I'll never stop my pa from farming later,and I'll spend more time to stay with him and enjoy my parents as well as my elder uncle.Thanks a lot.
• India
7 Feb 11
Hi, I notice all our elder generations are very hard working. They do not waste even a single minute in other things. They do everything on their own and they are self dependent. They do not like to burden their kids. I wonder we do not have such a mentality. Hope you agree with me.
• China
8 Feb 11
That's true.In both my country and yours there are lots of old people who were rather poor when they were young,and they have cultivated good habits to labour all the life,among them there's my farther.He's never asked money from me even when he's having his new house built!
@liquorice (3901)
7 Feb 11
Aw, he sounds like such a lovely man. So thoughtful, providing for his family like that, and determined to work! He sounds like a very unusual dad, a dad in a million! Wow, what you should do. Well, it sounds as if he is so determined that whatever anyone says probably won't make a difference. It obviously makes him feel useful, and makes him feel good to be able to buy things like insurance and provide for you all. Is he in good health? Unless there's a physical reason why he can't do this work, I think you're going to have a difficult job persuading him to stop!!
• China
8 Feb 11
Yes,he's a determined old man,he never stops helping the families or his friends,maybe because he's seen too much misery but he never speaks out.Now he's still in good health except some little truble like slight toothache.I'll do my best to persuade him to farm less.Thank you very much.
• United States
7 Feb 11
I so understand that you simply want what is best for his health. However he has lived like this and able to provide for his family. So telling him to stop will be sort of painful for him to hear as he will be offended and feel like you all think he is too old for this type of work. I would say you and the others perhaps help him on some days and this way he does not have to do so much. Make like you are so proud of him and want him to teach him and this will make him even more proud as his family is involved. However I do not know the personality of your father as he may also be insulted about anyone but him doing the work. So please be patient and talk to him a bit and explain that this work will take a toll on his life. Best of luck and well wishes to all your family.
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
7 Feb 11
Maybe he enjoys doing it? I've heard that work represents a lot of people and if they loose it, they will loose their identity. If he's healthy and it's not causing him harm, you should let him... I also heard how therapeutic it is to work in the soil.
• China
7 Feb 11
Yes,he enjoys farming.I believe that's the reson he's healthy and strong.I'll give him more help and care.Thank you.
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
I guess nothing. Farming is what your father loves. Don't take it away from him. You could probably help him out in some way as not to give him the impression that you're making him stop farming.
• China
7 Feb 11
Your advice is true and simple,and I'll listen to you and give him more help.He can do farming as long as he doesn't work too hard.
@unme9090 (55)
• Malaysia
6 Feb 11
It's a joy of his life to be a farmer. He's like to farm and make a better future for the future generations. I just hope that he's get enough rest or so.
• China
7 Feb 11
Thank you for your love,my friend!I'll give him more love,more care and more help,and tell him not to overload.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
6 Feb 11
You might want to spend more time with your pa, and make him feel trust on you though. I don't know, some old people simply stubborn, and they won't listen to anyone though. The best thing you can do; have a conversation and spend more time with them. They might change their mind one day.
• China
7 Feb 11
That's right,and I can see it,my wife often advices me about that.He's frank,stubborn,but he's kind and dilligent.He loves labouring,and enjoys farming.Many thanks!
@dong88 (796)
• China
6 Feb 11
Your dad is great! He reminds me of my father.My father in the countryside,is also a love of labor.If you want to let them give up labor,they are not allowed.Therefore,time to spend more time with dad,how to talk with dad.Bless you!
• China
7 Feb 11
Yes,he's great,so your pa is!His kindness and hard working do him and his children so much good.I'll give him more care and love,and hope he lives more happily.Good health to your father!
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
6 Feb 11
Actually your lucky of having father which still strong and healthy. Talk to him and encourage him to gradually stop farming and arrange who will do what he is doing. Because if you force him to stop bad effect will have so gradually.. Like my father still working in the farm also at the age of 71, he said if he stop, he will die immediately, it is like that because his body is still looking for such action. see you around
• China
7 Feb 11
Many thanks for your good advice.Actually my families have been persuading him,but just as you said,he cannot stop labouring at once,that's his enjoyment!Long live our farthers!
@dreamnishu (1253)
• China
6 Feb 11
You are the best person in this world because you have a great father and you should give him all happiness what you can.you must be feel proud on your father.he is such a great person.always stay with him and do not make him sad. thanks for your discussion.
• China
7 Feb 11
I know I'm lucky,so after work or at the weekend I often help him as possible as I can.Thank you,young guy!And happy Chinese Lunar New Year to you and your dad!