How did you handle a teen's back talking mouth ?

United States
February 8, 2011 9:16am CST
I had a huge argument this morning with my 13 year old right before going to school, and I cried all the way back home. Her mouth is unbearable. The ugliest things will come out of it, and sometimes it is not even what she is saying, it is the tone of her voice. I would love to hear from those parents that has already gone through this,and found a tactic that works with a back talking or hateful mouth.
2 responses
@wiggles18 (2523)
• Canada
8 Feb 11
Just be all nonchalant about it; getting emotional in responses only adds more fuel to the fire- you have to be the one "cooling down the fire" in that scenario. Don't use the word "Why"(nobody likes explaining themselves when they are moody); instead sneak questions in easy to answer form- "do you...", "are you...", "is it because you...". Also, don't tell them to settle or calm down, it has the opposite effect. If all of that doesn't work, surprise her with your own off the wall comment(something really bad that'd she'd only expect to hear from someone her age or a bit older)- she'l be so shocked of what you said she won't know what to say. Just make sure to not use anything personal here, just something really dirty/bad, that could generally apply to anyone.
@wiggles18 (2523)
• Canada
8 Feb 11
Also, no threats; instead, just tell them what you do for them. Don't say things like "if you don't stop now, I will take away your cell-phone", say something more like "Hey. It's pretty nice of me to pay your cell-phone bill" or"Who pays your cell-phone bills?" It will make them kind of feel guilty, instead of getting them more angry.
• United States
9 Feb 11
Oh I will be the first to admit, I do not stay calm very well, but you are right, it does add more fuel to the fire. I need to work on that. Your approach is a different one indeed, however it really makes sense. I am going to write these down and give them a try. Thank you for your ideas !
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
8 Feb 11
yeah my teens would have been back slap.. and wouldnt be allow to do nothing at all. then they would loose all rights to have a cell, games, phone calls, and going out. my kids learned they dont talk back to me or my wife, and if they are ever dumb enough to raise their hands at once of us, well my son found out once when he picked himself up off the floor he looked at me said boy i that was dumb
• United States
9 Feb 11
I know my father did not put up with any back talking at all from my sister and I . It took me only a couple of times to realize , not only did I not talk back my father, I didn't raise my voice to him either. Needless to say I am not as strict on my girls as my father was with me, but I starting to see that is a huge mistake ! We will be taking her cell phone and all privileges away this evening, because we have found out that she is doing a lot she shouldn't be doing, as well as the back talking. So this is not going to be a pleasant evening for anyone in the house.