Poor communication kills.

@megamatt (14333)
United States
February 8, 2011 10:10am CST
Or at least leads to bad feelings and people falling out with each other. The problem is that people don't listen and therefore, they act like something was news to them and get all offended because they were not told. Yet, they should be paying more close attention. You never know when you hear something that could be vital. It might happen at any time. So keep listening, because while most things might not seem important, you never know when you might need to learn something that could be vital.
2 people like this
6 responses
@aw5363 (105)
• Malaysia
9 Feb 11
well after i read trough ur comment about the poor communication skills i think u misunderstood the concept of communication not only u but most of the people do . ok first of all communication have many type of it , and verbal is one of it others type like writing , email, letters, memos and face book are some of the few. if people don't listen to u then u should use more formal type , make it black and white , use memos/letters . so u have prove , ok i already have memos for u so they cannot pretend not to notice it , even better if u ask the person to read the letter fist and ask them if they understand and then sign the letter .
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
9 Feb 11
Listening and paying attention is a part of communication. For instance, it would be much harder to communicate information, if everyone in the world was rendered deaf. Still as you said, there are ways, but I think that it would be much harder, because listening is part of communication and just makes things slightly easier in a few ways. Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated and it contributed to the topic well. Have a nice day and thanks.
• United States
13 Feb 11
I found that listening, really listening is not as easy as it seems. To really listen to someone speak, you have to let go of positivity or negativity and just be in the moment. Your own ego has to stand back, so that the person who is talking to you can really reach you and feel that you are with her or him. The speaker mirrors himself in the other person. So in order to be a good listener you need to be somewhat of a blank canvas. This way the person speaking to you is able to be completely authentic. I even found that if someone seems to listen but has his own judgmental thoughts you will know it and feel as if you are not listened to. Thanks for a discussion I really love.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
14 Feb 11
That does raise an interesting point. There are so many times where we go in with a preconceived notion of what we want to hear. Therefore, we are not really listening. Sure we might hear the words, but are we listening. Sadly, it does not seem to be so. Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated and it contributed to the topic well. Have a nice day and thanks.
• Romania
8 Feb 11
Dear megamatt, I must say that the "not listening" part is a chronic behavior in people our day. I always felt that listening to the other talk is something, if not of interest, at least of good manners. In fact I am considered a good listener, because even if I don't find the subject useful or attractive, I am always keeping my eyes on the speaker, i complete his breathing breaks with a gesture, or a nod, or a humming. And if i feel he needs to speak more about that, I help with a question to show him i'm interested and present in the conversation. What I'm a little frustrated about, is that most of my interlocutors start to look away, if the subject i talk about is not interesting to them, or let their minds fly to other things, which is something I wouldn't mind or notice, except they interrupt me when I'm in the middle of a phrase, to tell me something totally irrelevant to our discussion. And that even if I had listen to them patiently many times. When that happens i learned to resign myself and concentrate on their new problem. It wouldn't help if I'd try to bring them back to my subject.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
8 Feb 11
Yeah at least if you are not going to listen, at least do not interrupt me. That really exposes the fact that you are not listening. Then again, you listen to people patiently, even with things that barely hold your interest, but they cannot extend the same thing to you. Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated and it contributed to the topic well. Have a nice day and thanks.
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
Could not agree more with you, megamatt. We fail to listen to what is being said and even to those that are not said. Sometimes one has to listen to those that remain unsaid. And we should not presume the intention and meaning behind what is said. Sometimes, we have our own interpretation of what is being said, getting it all wrong. And we wonder why? Sigh! We should be sensitive and attentive to what is being conveyed, true. Perhaps, things will be better all around if we do. Nice reminder, megamatt.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
8 Feb 11
We could all do with being a bit more attentive. Paying a bit more attention to the things around us. Listening is vital but really there are things that we can gather by paying attention with all of our surroundings. Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated and it contributed to the topic well. Have a nice day and thanks.
@jalucia (1435)
• United States
8 Feb 11
When you mentioned poor communication I thought of how, these days, many folks don't know how to talk to each other. The art of articulation is dying. It used to be that people, at least, minimally cared about their fellow human beings feelings and about how they portrayed themselves to others. And, there was a right way to talk to people and a wrong way. You thought about what you said, before you said it. And, you paid attention to your tone and the use of words that you used. Words like "please" and "thank you" and "may I" (instead of can I) and "Hello" and "How are you doing" were part of everyday communications. These days people just spit out whatever's on their mind, even though they may offend. However, this is not exactly the topic of your post. You are right, part of communication is listening. And, good communication means actually hearing what the other person is saying. But, I think that sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we don't even hear what the other person is saying to us. I know it sounds like a fantasy. But, we need to get to a point where we care about our fellow human being. This, in itself, will help us communicate better with each other.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
8 Feb 11
On either point, you are very right. There are many ways where communication is failing these days a lot of the time. With both the speaking element and the listening element. When putting both together, you have solid communication. Without one, much is lost. With two of the elements out, its very frustrating. Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated and it contributed to the topic well. Have a nice day and thanks.
• Mexico
8 Feb 11
Hi megamant: I agree with you on the fact that we have this real problem that concern us all. Sometimes people fight because, what they believe to hear was not what the other person was really saying and that sometimes problems could be solve and even not exist if we listen what the other people tell us. We should improve communication on our daily relationships. ALVARO
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
8 Feb 11
If we listened and perhaps in fact really think carefully, there are so many problems that can be solved. There is a good chunk of the problems of the world that can really have been solved by better communication. Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated and it contributed to the topic well. Have a nice day and thanks.
8 Feb 11
I agree with you. Sometimes people tend to switch off and not bother to listen or take in what others are saying to them. As you said, you never know when something you have been told could be vital but yet as you never bothered to pay attention then it creates a bigger problem as you were not listening the first time. It seems it is like some people acting as though they are back at school, where they never always listened to what was said to them and you missed out on learning so much, this then is the same when older, if you don't listen you don't learn and could missout on things or it may cause problems for yourself or for others. Best thing to do when someone tells you something, is to listen, if it is not that important thn fine, but some things could be important, best not to block out and ignore what people say to you, it is a good way to learn things by listening to what others have to say.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
8 Feb 11
You hit the nail on the head about them thinking that they are back in school. I mean, there are some people who never really escape that mentality of not listening. And it only gets much worse when they get older. Much, much worse. Thank you for your response. It is much appreciated and it contributed to the topic well. Have a nice day and thanks.