February 9, 2011 7:09am CST
Hello everyone. I was wondering something about myself... Why do not I have enough confidence in myself? I looked long time for an answer, but I never found it. I don't know why, but I feel I'm not 100% confident in myself. For example, when I'm talking to anyone, I'm not sure if I may tell a joke or just continue the conversation. I'm not sure of what to do in each case when I'm talking(or doing any other activity) with some people, specially when I'm talking one on one. Please help me. I don't like this. I'd prefer to be more self-confident. So, give me some advice and suggestions to improve my self-confidence. Just share what you do when you're with other people. Thanks for your help.
2 people like this
17 Aug 12
Confidence is the most important weapon that you have to fight everyday problems. If you go to developing it enough, you can manage to do things for others can seem impossible. You only need you to think you can do something in order to succeed - as many would tell you to quit, if you think you can still succeed! Time lost is just one where you do nothing, otherwise, in any activity no matter how trivial, you can learn things that you might be nice sometime. The starting point in developing self-esteem is to accept you you you. You can not claim that others look at you differently than what you see. Only after you manage to confront your weaknesses, to compensate by improving strengths, you'll be able to really believe in yourself. Distrust not only the absence of qualities. It can become a problem can affect your life adversely, the adjustment problems, inability to socialize, make new friends. So do not miss a second: start now to work on self-esteem - the most important quality in the struggle for realizing the ideals in life.
• United States
15 Feb 11
A lot of times, it all stems back to when we were growing up as children and how people expected us to act and talk to us. Especially people closest to us like our parents. I know when you are talked down too and not expected to act like an adult, etc. then a lot of times that is what will bleed in with you later in life. Personally the Best thing to do is learn to go with the Flow, and when someone is treating you wrong or constantly wanting to disagree with you, just learn to not let it bother you and move on. If you start developing a little more confidence and Trust in yourself it will show, and others will not feel like mocking you, etc. so much as well.
10 Feb 11
Hi ricextreme! it seems that you are worrying for things that shouldn't bother at all. From the manner you deal with people around you and the respect they feel when you are starting a conversation will suffice to make known that you have what it takes to be dealing with on any matters under the ssun. It is not the physical attribute that will give you confidence that you are talking with sense or the topic your uttering but the way you deliver it with sincerity and pure honesty that you mean it. keep safe....
10 Feb 11
O-o my dear you do not have to be worryed. For every question there is an answer, and for every problem there is a solution. Here is my advice - Did you know John Kehoe - if not he is e writher he have many books wich halp to many people, go to the near books store and ask aboute him then then choose the right book for you and read it, from the first pages you will start to fill better. You are living simultaneously in two worlds, two realities: the inner reality of your thoughts, emotions and attitudes, and the outer reality of people, places, things and events. Becouse we fail to separate these inner and outer worlds, we allow ourselves to become dominated by the Outer world of appearance, and we use the Inner world to solely as a `mirror` for whatever happens to us. Our Inner world reacts constantly and becouse we spend all fo our time simply reacting, we never experiece our power. Ironically, you begin to changing your reality dhe day, the hour, the minute you cease conslantly reacting to it. John Kehoe - Mind power into the 21st Century And one more good writer Poulo Coelho.
10 Feb 11
Hi, ricextreme, Good day to you my friend.I think you were an introvert person in which most of the time you prefer to be alone because you are afraid that if you express your feelings or ideas to someone or to a discussion even though you know the answer you are hesitant to voice out your opinion/ideas because you don't want to be rejected or to be disagreed but you know your right.When you say something you don't want to lengthen the conversation because your afraid you would run out of words to say or explain further the topic of your discussion. My friend you must practice to face people, join gatherings, socialize to overcome your shyness.Just practice public speaking and read more to gain more knowledge so that next time you talk to someone you have something to say to keep the conversation going.I hope this helps, good luck
• United States
9 Feb 11
I believe, like with many other things in our lives, confidence comes with practice. As far as I know, nobody was born knowing everything there's to know about life. We learn through experiences. What ever the situation you want to put yourself in, research it a little so when you get in to a conversation, you can feel more confident. For example, if you're going to a christmas party, look up "Christmas" & interesting facts about Christmas. I know that the "image" of santa claus was invented by Coca Cola company. That's why he always wears red & white. And you won't see an image of santa on pepsi commercial. You might hear it, but you won't see it. Then when you're at the party, bring it up. Be the center of the conversation or at least bring up the conversation that people will talk about. You'll feel comfortable because you know you've done your research. More you get involved with other people, more you'll feel comfortable & confident. In time, you'll find yourself engaging with more & more people.
9 Feb 11
Self confidence cannot be developed if not practiced. Find for strong points and improve it as well as your weak points so that you can develop it. Be proud of yourself, of what you can do and you can't do because that is you. Just be yourself. Self confidence means confidence in yourself and sometimes we lack this confidence especially if we are not used to do something. So you should do more activity to the things where you lack this self confidence. Like the example you have given, you said you are not confident speaking to someone because you are not used to it. So try to speak more, just speak your mind whether a joke or not. Then later on you will know and learn when to give a joke and when not to joke because you already have the experience in doing this. You must learn how to develop it in yourself. Have a nice day!
9 Feb 11
Well i have over confidence that's what my parents tell me. I would do whatever i do all the time without caring about the result.So that's where i am mistaken i wish i would be more careful in future. Be practical that's all i would say. Always try to get to draw out people more. Don't think of doing anything but just do it. That way you would get the gut to just do something and you will get surprising results. DON'T THINK OF DOING ANY THINKING BUT RATHER JUST DO IT! Cheers!
9 Feb 11
Be yourself. If you need practice, talk to people you are already comfortable with so that even if you make a fool of yourself, they won't laugh at you but instead help you to improve. You are still very young at 16. Some things are acquired over time. Just be natural. There's no need to tell a joke to cover silence. be present with the person even if the other person is doing all the talking. They might think you are very wise too.
9 Feb 11
Hi , my friend, i used to be like that when i'm still in high school. you know the reason why are you like that, simply, you are feared on making mistakes and you are feared to have negative criticisms from others. when talking with a person, calculate or analyze the type of person and the mood of the person first.you should know where to talk seriously and when to bring water to the fire. happy mylotting
9 Feb 11
The best way to overcome lack of confidence or under confidence is to pinpoint the exact cause, be honest to your self in your assessment and do something to correct or remedy the short coming or handicap. In your case, you have already identified that it is something to do with conversation, then by all means do something to correct it like taking a confidence or speech course. If it's a physical one then correct it, if it is something that can't be corrected then learn to live with it.Good luck friend
9 Feb 11
If you have know-how with any subjects that people talk about, it means you have the edge in talking to them.. Open up yourself to conversation or public speaking, and train yourself to be confident on what you are doing and saying, so that you can exress yourself clearly. Self-confident can taught within you first, as a person, you have the desire to be one, then do it, there's no harm in trying. At first, try to converse with one person. The techniques in talking to one person is that you have to watch what his talking about, then, talk about it, in your own way and while talking, think for another subject/s to be tackled on him. That way you can thoroughly say what you want to say, and go on...and go..on until you have enough confidence to face 2 or more people. It's like talking to one or to a group, but you have an agenda to talk about. Practice makes a person perfect.