Do you still listen if you do not want to hear the things being told to you?

@jhaidro (879)
Philippines
February 9, 2011 10:28pm CST
It is quite common to comfort a friend in need of someone to talk to. However, there are also common occasions that the friend you are talking to is the person you have feelings for. A lot of people fall for their best friends but only a few stepped it up and became lovers. It is a sad thought, heartbreaking even to receive a text message or a call from a friend that you fell in love with but it did not worked out, saying that she needs you because she has problems with her current boyfriend. As for me, I still wanted to help her with her problem. I know that as we see each other to talk, I will not want to hear the things she has to say but I will still be there for her. I am not entirely sure why I still lend a crying shoulder for people I have fell in love with the past. If I had feelings for people before, it never goes away. I still care so much for them. Even if their stories will be hard to digest, I will still try to hear them out to at least make them feel a little better. If in the situation, what would you do?
2 people like this
8 responses
@SIMPLYD (82839)
• Philippines
11 Feb 11
If that is the case, i will try to avoid her . I don't want to hear those stories about her and her boyfriend because it will hurt me a lot. I don't want to torture myself anymore by that.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
11 Feb 11
That may be the best thing to do. The only thing is, at times, they just would not let go of you. They tend not to recognize the feelings that you may have. At times they would think that that certain moment is theirs. It is hard to come by.
@mermaidivy (15415)
• United States
10 Feb 11
No, I won't take the advices if I think that is not true. Just like people likes to tell me I should do this to my baby and that to my baby but you know I am my baby's mother, I know what he wants, if I don't agree with what the people says, I just ignore it but just acknowledging it.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
11 Feb 11
We may have different takes on some things. It is good to know that even you really do not agree to what they are saying, you still don't make them feel that their thoughts are rejected.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
10 Feb 11
I tend to tune things out if it is something that i really don't want to listen to. Sometimes I can regret not listening, but when someone is telling you what to do, rebelling is right around the corner.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
As I see people on the weakest days of their lives, I just let them be and just express what I feel after they are feeling better. I don't want to spoil their moment. I do not want them to feel so down and make them feel that they really were wrong about certain things. I just stay with them and let them feel that they have someone.
@bussyien (137)
• Indonesia
10 Feb 11
We can not impose a loved one to turn to love us. However, the true love go round love is to give up a loved one to live happily, though with other people. If I were in a situation like that, I'll do the same thing like you. I will not let my loved ones that bear the problem alone. I guess I am not too interested to hear stories about his lover, but I will not bear to see him sad. Seeing the grief person I love will make me much more sad.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
I have learned that lesson the hard way. Way back, whenever I see someone I am interested with, I tend to make her feel especial and whenever she responds in any way, I see it as a sign of interest as well. It turns out that it is not the case all the time. Sometimes even if someone treats you especial, it does not mean that you could have something especial right there and then. Some people are just returning the favor. If you ask me, I would wish that they just appreciate my efforts and not do anything about it so it would be clear that they do not want to go any further.
@staria (2782)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
If I do not like what I friend is telling me, I ask them to stop and give my opinions about it. That way, we build a conversation. And it gives me a chance to correct whatever s/he has done wrong. But of course, it still pays to listen as she trust you and she relies on you.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
I have tried that but it did not went well with me. I just have a lot to say on things especially when it matters to something that should have been me. It turns out that most of the time, she just wanted to be heard and not be told on what to do. So every time I am faced with similar encounters, I just lend and ear, not say too much and wait for the moment to end.
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
I'd do the same thing .[em]happy[/em ]It is not their fault that they have fallen for someone else but me. And since I can not be their lover, at least I can be their friend. In this way, I can still show and give the love I wanted to give without forcing myself on them. The thing is sometimes,we feel happy that we are able to help someone who is special to us. I think love is like that ,even if it hurts we still care.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
I truly respect the choices they make and I never wanted to pressure them to choose me. Some people just wanted to move along but still being pulled back into the same situation. I have known people that accepted the fact that they were rejected. They wanted to get over the pain so they tend to be distant. Then the girl just keeps on asking for him to stay and still be friends. I can't understand why they still give in so much torture even it seems you lost it all. As a guy, I think that there is nothing wrong on still being friends however I need time to put things back together. I need some time to heal and be well then I can face them back. I believe that even when hurt we still care because I have been there. I just wanted that those who gave out the NO answer to let things find there way back in a matter of time.
@salonga (27954)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
When I don't like what I hear I don't listen. That is my way of keeping myself from being completely irritated. In order not to be rude, I would pretend that I am listening although my mind is somewhere else.
@jhaidro (879)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
I think that it is the way to go. We just have to let things in in one side and let it out to the other. Maybe we just can't help it to reach out to someone dear to us. Whatever she may be into, we just have to be there for support even it feels a bit awkward for us. Certain sacrifices are being rendered when emotions take over.
• United States
15 Feb 11
you know, im always there for my friends, through all the ups and downs. even if its a friend that i like-like. it doesnt matter.. i'll always be there for them because there- there for me.. some people dont have that kind of friendship and im happy that I know., because i know i can trust them and depend and them and they feel the same way with me... you know some friends keep things from you cause they think you'll laugh at them or whatever. but its not like that with my friends. if i was in that situation like i said., just being there for them no matter what-- even if you like/love the,.,.its better to make them smile and happy then see them not... hope that helps