How do you date?

Australia
February 12, 2011 11:09pm CST
I've noticed recently that I have a very different view to dating. When I go on a date with a new guy I don't go thinking he will now be my boyfriend. I go to learn more about him. And if someone else asks me out I will go on a date with him. Until there is an understanding between us that we are in fact in a real realationship I feel that we are not. I met a guy today who asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him we should get together to see how we like each other first, and that I don't immediatly become someones girlfriend just because they ask. He then took that as I had many boyfriends and was ok with cheating on all of them. I don't. I take a while to decide if I truely like a person enough to be in a relationship and once I am there, I'm there for a while. I feel like I'm not explaining this well. I veiw dating as courtship, like a trial into whether your two personalities fit together. Once you've stablished they do comes the commitment of Boyfriend/Girlfriend. And once you've been like that for a while marriage. But most guys and girls I meet seem to think it goes, meet someone, have one date, you're in a deep relationship for 3 weeks. You get to know each other and hate that person and then you're broken up and it starts again. What I want to know is have I got the wrong idea when it comes to going on dates? Or should I be excluding all other parties once I have agreed to a first date with someone.
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
13 Feb 11
I think it's a trial period. I don't date exclusively unless a proposal of marriage is forthcoming. Even then the engagement is a trial period (I've had two broken off and thankfully it was absolutely the right decision in both cases).
• Australia
14 Feb 11
gee how quick did you get into the engagements? I mean, I've had a relationship where we were so close I was thinking maybe to marriage after only 2 years of living together and even then I think thats too fast. Thank go he wasn't one of those romantic needy guys.
@livecenter (1138)
• Malaysia
13 Feb 11
I think you have taken a wise step by doing that...Not every date will last for a relationship, and having a date with a guy does not mean you need to be his girlfriend immediately...I agree with you that a date is just a way of evaluating someone, and not the agreement of understanding for a relationship...Just stick with your attitude and I am sure you will find it beneficial one day...
• Australia
13 Feb 11
Exactly! I thought it so strange that people perceived me as some girl who has many boyfriends at once when in fact I don't and most of these 'boyfriends' I never see again.
• Philippines
13 Feb 11
I really think that people should slow down when it comes to dating and relationships. It doesn't really mean that when you go on a date, he's your bf already. It's better to know a person deeper first before going in a relationship with him. It's for your own sake too. It kinda protects you (or your first line of defense) from heartache and wrong decisions.
• Malaysia
13 Feb 11
I am in the same boat as MsPatriciaDV...That attitude will protects you from the hardship of love, and you should be thankful of that...
• United States
13 Feb 11
I think that your attitude regarding "dating" is a good one. I think that dating implies getting to know the person, and that means that either of you could be dating more than one person. If you are just dating one person but there is no expectation of it being exclusive, then you have the option of accepting an invitation from someone else without any guilt or negative consequences, in my opinion. Once there is an expectation of being exclusive, then you have moved from merely dating to being boyfriend and girlfriend, which would be where the "cheating" aspect would come into play.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
13 Feb 11
When i was younger, I used to think of dating as going after who was most popular. It was a statis symbol in some ways. Now that i am older, dating is just finding the right person to spend your time with.
13 Feb 11
I agree with you to go slowly in comes with dating. I do believe that is always start with friendship. And when you already dating commitment is present.
@janron29 (266)
• Philippines
13 Feb 11
I go for dating to find Mr.Right. Dating is the stage of getting to know each other before you commit. Dating for me is the selection process. I have a list of qualities that I am looking for a guy. It is a common mistake to go on dating without knowing what you are looking for in a person. The main purpose of dating is finding your lifetime mate.