SIngle and enjoying it

Philippines
February 13, 2011 9:04am CST
Im not just saying this to defend my status. Or to avoid looking like a loser. My last relationship has been around 3 years ago. And right now, Im a bit confused with my ex-bf's behavior and treatment towards me, as well as another close friend's feelings for me. But nevertheless, I am still single. Being single for 3 years, I have come to realize many things. Yes, I am not getting any younger, and when I think about it, I get envious of my friends who are already married and with kids, as well as my friends who are already engaged. But I think it's a natural reaction especially for a single girl like me. I date a lot. But with all my past relationships, the issue has always been trust. I don't know if it's just me or there's something wrong in both parties. But trust has always been an issue for me. I won't elaborate further as it may take a whole day to tell my stories. So the thing is, whenever I get too close to someone Im dating, or when I start liking him already, I tend to back off. Again, trust issues. Fear of getting rejected? Fear of getting hurt? I dont know... I still have to realize that part... So I back off and choose to just remain friends with that person. I know it sounds like there's something wrong with me. Well maybe there is. But as I have stated before, I have learned to enjoy myself and my singlehood. It's tough at times, especially during this season. But I learned to surround myself with my family, who's always been wonderful to me, and a good set of friends, who no matter what happens, love me just the way I am enjoying single life. I enjoy going out with having no one affecting my decision when to go home. I enjoy flirting with other guys nonchalantly. I enjoy dating. I am enjoying myself right now. So happy valentine's day to everyone here, especially the single ones. Let's still pray for that special someone to find his/her way towards us. But for now, let us enjoy being single. Let us celebrate life.
5 people like this
22 responses
• Philippines
13 Feb 11
Hi, never ever get envious to married people. You should always enjoy your life being a single, I bet if you feel like that, there is also a chance that when you get married you will also get envious to those who are still single. So that's it enjoy life, enjoy while you are still single. There is always a right time for everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Feb 11
I have been single for 18 years now! And I still love it and prefer it to married life. However I am also getting too old to worry about dating or hoping for someone to sweep me off my feet! lol!When I first got divorced a wise friend told me that until I was happy enough with myself to be alone - I wasn't healthy enough for a relationship!
• Philippines
13 Feb 11
That is very well said. I believe in loving, trusting and being truly happy with yourself first before entering a relationship. Being single has its own benefits and advantages. We just have to learn how to make the most out of them. I still believe though, that we are entitled to a certain happiness that only someone other than ourselves can give. I still hope you meet that someone who's going to sweep you off your feet. The magic is still there. We just have to believe. Happy Valentine's day!
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Feb 11
I really enjoyed your story Hatley!! Thanks so much for sharing it with us today!
• United States
13 Feb 11
This is my first year to have a valentine in a few years. I hav ehad my share of ups and downs and now I am doing well. I was happy to be single because the one thing I hated was trusting and answering to someone. I have to say I love having someone to answer to and I really love the fact that I finally have trust in a man. It took me years to get here. Years I cna't get back and wasted. I am happy to see your doing well with your status as well. I gave my daughter a valentine everyyear that I was single. Even this year she got a gift from me. A few pairs of pretty panties and some pretty bras and a onsie I bougth for myself that was too big. Happy Valentines to you as well. Take care.
• Philippines
13 Feb 11
COngratulations on having that special someone to celebrate Valentine's day with. It does take years at times to get over something that has wronged us in the past. I am happy that you have outgrown that and moved on. It's nice to have someone who loves you dearly. I hope I can find my own someday. Thank you for your kind words. I know that this season is extra special for you. Happy Valentine's day to you and your partner. May you be happy for a very very long time.
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Feb 11
hi gifts I am so happy for you that now you have a valentine one whom you can trust and love. happy happy valentines day.
@MsTickle (24804)
• Australia
24 Feb 11
Hi there. Yes, I'm single too and I wouldn't have things any other way. Unlike you, I don't date or go out and I have never done that very much really even when I was young. I wish I had. I always had a problem with honesty and eventually trust became an issue. Once that happens you know you cannot discuss things or work things out because you know the guy is going to lie to you. These days I wish I had someone to grow old with (but only sometimes ) but I have no tolerance for guys now. They annoy the cr4p out of me.
@globaldoc (860)
• Philippines
17 Feb 11
Now, that is the best way to enjoy valentine's day, when one is single. You do not get to spend for dinner. You do not spend for flowers. You do not spend for gifts. You do not waste your time finding places to park the car. You do not have to suffer from heavy traffic. You do not have a wife to discover you are with someone else. All you just have to do is remember that it is also independence day for you.Next is to find a girl whose birthday falls on Christmas, so you will save money twice, from her birthday and valentine.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
15 Feb 11
Welcome to the club. Iam single and happy. If i ever get together with another male he is really gonna be a winner. All ive known so far is losers. Im not a loser so i dont wanna be with one. When i see couples squabbling with each other it makes me rejoice all the more at being single.
@margeryann (1853)
• United States
15 Feb 11
I think there is the right person for everyone. I think you are doing a good job taking your time on finding the right person. You will have a higher chance in finding the right person not getting in a hurry. I've seen lots of people that don't want to be alone so much that as soon as they are out of one relationship they are in another bad relationship because they didn't give enough time to see if they would get along or not. Relationships aren't easy. A lot of people aren't showing their true colors for a while after you know them and after that you don't know someone good until after you live with them a while to know if you can handle each others attitudes and habits . Good luck in finding the right person.Happy Valentines.
• United States
15 Feb 11
It isn't a crime to happy And Single. I'm glad you are happy. and All I can say is when it is right, the trust will be there. And if it takes a while to find the One, Who cares? Is there a time limit? No! Marriage and kids will come when they come. Enjoy your life!
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
14 Feb 11
You right, friend. We enjoy life being a single...
@mythociate (13764)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
14 Feb 11
Amen. Every human intellect--I think--is alone when it can't share itself with others---i.e. if you're in a crowd and still feel alone, it's because they don't know what you're thinking and you know you're not thinking what they're thinking. I wonder if studying psychology makes you feel more- or less lonely (I wish they had a 'thinking' smiley)
14 Feb 11
Singleness translates to happiness when you discover trust you gave was violated. Trust is something precious taken for granted. When the trust is gone, relationship unravels, travails begin, marriages explode.Hope,that every dawn comes, your day is good. And hope that everyday is good.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
14 Feb 11
But defend it :D I was so upset when girls would ask me if I had a boyfriend when i was 27 and give that look that was something wrong cause I didn't, while some would even be in a baaad relationship just not to be alone. I find people that cannot be alone a bunch of loosers, people with selfesteem are good companies to their own selves first, why to seek for companion if we haven't found love yet? And you know what, it was great to be single. There's a freedom that comes from being single that nothing is like that, now being with someone we actually like a lot, that's great and better than being single. I'm happy.
• Oman
14 Feb 11
Yes you're right. Single-blessedness still does exist today. Enjoy and celebrate life. Who knows, God is preparing the right and perfect guy for you. You might wake up one day and find yourself under the arms of your perfect guy. Talk to God, He might be teaching and instructing you something such us to exercise patience and perseverance without manifesting the agony of waiting.
@hlgmdt (301)
• Philippines
14 Feb 11
Like you, I can proudly say that I am single and enjoying it. I haven't been in a relationship for a long time, but it doesn't really bother me. My family and friends are the ones getting panicky about the fact that I am not getting any younger and so I have to have a boyfriend or get married soon. I just think that at this point I still have a lot of things to do to satisfy my identity, and it would be unfair if I enter into a relationship and cannot devote my time into it. I am free, so I can make risky decisions and take chances without worrying about the people that might be affected my the outcome of my actions. I have my reasons for staying single up to this time and I just hope that they understand and respect it.
• China
14 Feb 11
Everything will go well.Let us celebrate life.Hope the special will find you very soon!
@LTL143 (57)
• Philippines
14 Feb 11
I like the way you think. Well, I am just like you. I have a boyfriend once, that was December, 2007 but we broke up after 3 month and never have a boyfriend for a long period of time. What I did for the past few years is to focused on my study and that time when I graduated, I then got a job and spend all my time and attention to my work, family, and friends. Like you, I also realized that I'm not getting younger anymore and some of my friends already got married and has their own kids, unlike me, alone and feeling empty. But I don't lose hope. True love can wait, and I know that the Lord is still preparing the best gift for us someday in our life at the right time and at the right place, everything will be set accordingly. Now I am happy because after how many years, I already found the right person for me to be with for the rest of my life. Just enjoy life and don't lose hope to those who still searching for their true love. It will come soon. Happy Hearts to everyone. God bless!.
@pogi253 (1587)
• Philippines
14 Feb 11
The single life is a status you prefer. And I have to say that it isn't a bad preference at all. Though, in everything, bad or nice, there are two sides of the coin. There are good things about being single and of course, there are pretty bad things about it. You can enjoy the good ones and deal with the not so good things - merely because that's how life should be.
@palonghorn (5490)
• United States
14 Feb 11
Very well said, and it's good that you can enjoy life even though you are single. I am single also, have been since January 2009 (with the exception of a very short relationship). I don't do the whole dating thing, not into the clubs, or anything like that. I am surrounded by guys that care a lot about me, I'm their training officer with the fire department. And they are good friends and like big brothers to me. I have a great relationship with my daughters, and we always have a good time together. I was divorced, and then in a relationship for almost 4 yrs from 2005 to 2009. Like you, trust is a big issue, there are too many that 'sound' trustworthy, but they are only playin the game, saying what they think you want to hear. I am sooo not into that. So, being single isn't bad, I can come and go as I please, I can watch what I want lol, and I am very independent because of it, I can do most minor home repairs and most minor repairs on my vehicle. The only thing is, the nights can get long, and it would be nice to have someone to share accomplishments, dreams, and time with......but, until the right one comes along that I can trust completely, I am happy being single!
• Philippines
13 Feb 11
well, it's true being single is nice but once in a while i get lonely too....being in a relationship my whole life then, wham, i'm single. i think i'm getting used to it though. no fights, no worries, i enjoy spoiling myself, reading a lot of books or just chilling out....even when there is nobody for me in the world at least i enjoy being by myself and that's enough for me...good luck to y'all....happy valentine's day
@piya84 (2591)
• India
13 Feb 11
Trust is something both parties have to built.If you have doubt about someone you are probably right there. Well enjoy your singleness till it last.