Afraid of falling in Love?

United States
February 16, 2011 10:39pm CST
Are there people who are afraid to fall in love? I ask because I saw On Tyra a woman who Always falls for gay men! Tyra said she thought she was a afraid of commitment. The Expert thought se chooses guys who Don't want her because she Knows the relationship won't take the next step. That's when I thought , It Does take courage to fall in love. To open yourself to someone! It is a leap of faith! And I guess there are many who are just not ready for that next step.What do you think?
3 people like this
13 responses
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
17 Feb 11
when there is no commitment there is no gain. These people may feel secure for the moment. There will be regrets later. That is a pain as it may be too late to change.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Feb 11
It may not be too late to change. I just hope they can learn to be open. That is the only way to find and feel love.
@marty3888 (2359)
• United States
17 Feb 11
I've always thought it's something you can't help doing, that for most people, it just hppens. That's how it has always has happened with me. But it could be fear of commiment. Also, if you don' fall in love, you can't get hurt when it ends. I think veing in love is womderful and it's sad o hear of some people rejecing i. Still, many of rthose guests on Tyra are young and i hink many of those women will eventually find someone when tthtey're good and ready.
• United States
17 Feb 11
Crushes just happen but they can be so fleeting. But I have learned True love comes to you when you are open to it. I mean Open, heart and mind. My guy found me Just as I was open to finding love. I am soooooooo lucky! Many are open but never find it. And now I see many are not open at all. It is sad. The One is out there. Believe me , If love can find me , it can find anyone!
@piya84 (2591)
• India
17 Feb 11
I have came across some men who are scarred and total bitter towards women.They see everything related to relationships with suspicion.
• United States
17 Feb 11
That's sad. They must think All women are after their money. That's so Wrong.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
17 Feb 11
Hi Sarah, Of course there are people in this lot - who would never dare fall in love. As you say - Open yourself to someone is not that easy and there are people who have difficulties. Maybe a prior bad experience, maybe the culture where falling in love is still considered a taboo, maybe the thinking (perverts too exist as they see nothing beyond the physical thing here), even those who are uncomfortable to commit.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
17 Feb 11
yes I see where you are coming from...I think it is an inner protective thing even some always fall the married one for the same reason...sad but true.
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
18 Feb 11
Teenagers are definitely feel afraid to tell about them love with others. As per my experience, i saw many of my friends, they never wanna reveal their love story, even when i ask many times also they can't reveal it. But when i raise the matters about his/her lover, their face glow with a smile and then they starts opening the picture. hahaha its a stage of fear. DON'T FEAR OR AFRIAD to tell about your love. Live freely and openly.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 11
Amen! If you feel it , show it. I can understand being shy to say " I Love You." but shouldn't stop you from showing it in other ways.
• India
19 Feb 11
madam you are really a good person. have a niceday godbless your family special prayers from my side.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 11
Thank you . The same to you and your family.
• India
17 Feb 11
from the time when i loved someone and lost, i am very cautious and scared to fall in love again. It reminds me all the days of good and bad memories associated with it.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 11
Being cautious is normal. Completely closed off is tragic. When you are ready , try love again. Take Care.
• India
20 Feb 11
i am not completely closed off m just cautious to get hurt once again. Thanks dear
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Feb 11
You are welcome.
• Philippines
17 Feb 11
I agree with you that falling in love is a leap of faith. When I was younger, I was so eager to fall in love, just wanting to know what it's like. You could say I was in a rush. But when I did fall in love, it went horribly bad. I gave too much of myself to that person without realizing I wasn't leaving anything for myself. My heart got broken and now I am afraid to fall in love again. Right now, there is one guy I really really like. I could almost say I'm falling for him even though we've never met in real life. But I'm trying my best to suppress my feelings for him because I'm afraid of falling in love with him. I am afraid because I don't want to be rejected and I don't want my heart to be crushed and broken again.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 11
Don't be so afraid you let a good thing pass you by. If you love him , Please don't suppress it.Tell him. Tell him in a nice and at ease way.He may feel the same way but is too guarded to tell you. You both may be The One for each other but if neither of you tell one another , you will never know. I know how it hurts to love someone and not have hem love you back. But you have to look at it this way or Try to, it is Their loss. They are the one who is missing a good thing , You! Now if you are healed and you find yourself falling , let it happen. But tell him. My guy fell for me weeks or even months before I knew. He just was patient and waited for me to feel the same. He told me in a nice and eased way. so go for it. Good Luck.
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
Yes, I actually have been thinking "what if we could be THE ONE for each other" but every time I do think that, I also say to myself "you're making it all up in your head! Shut up!". I am just so so afraid of rejection and what the outcome of my confession to him will be. Right now, we are just friends over the internet and I just really like him. And I don't want to ruin our friendship because of confessing my feelings for him. Maybe, I just have to wait for the day when we really meet in real life and see what happens then. Also, thank you for your advice. You knew exactly what I was thinking when you said "He may feel the same way but is too guarded to tell you. You both may be The One for each other but if neither of you tell one another, you will never know".
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 11
Ok. Waiting to meet in person sounds like a great idea. I hope everything works out. The best of Luck.
@bounce58 (17526)
• Canada
19 Feb 11
I think when we are young, we are fearless. That's why falling in love comes easy. But as we grow older, and more attuned to reality, we realize that falling in love is really scary. With opening up as the hardest part of it all. So I agree that there are people who are afraid to fall in love. As usually pain and heartache is not far away.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 11
Here I go again , being the complete opposite. when I was young , I thought everything was real scary. I was completely closed. I never thought I could fall in love. I am more fearless now! I was more open last year than Any other year since. I was lucky my guy told me how he felt first.i wonder , would I have had the guts to tell him first? I don't know.
@madteaparty (2762)
• Japan
17 Feb 11
I think that woman is just unlucky. You don't control who you fall in love for. If the person you fall for isn't attracted to your gender, it can't be helped, a new love will eventually appear anyway. I think to fall in love is something natural, that just happen, and it's not related to have courage or anything. If it was an act of courage that would mean we fall in love on purpose, and I still don't know a single person who can do that
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 11
Hello , my name is Sarah and I fell for my guy On purpose. I finally realized he was Everything thing I was looking for. I finally realized you Can fall for a dear friend. I could have remained closed and not let it happen but I Chose to let it happen. But with that said , not everyone gets to meet the perfect person. and they may be around someone who isn't " perfect" for them and they fall for them. It happens all the time. I Know how lucky I am.
• Canada
17 Feb 11
I think if someone is still "afraid" to fall in love, or has a problem falling in love for any reason, they are not ready to fall in love. My husband was married and divorced three times before I came along, and swore he'd never do it again. Now look at us! He has said many times that this time just FEELS different from the other times, and if he had listened to his instincts back then, he could have saved himself three mistakes.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 11
You have to listen to that inner voice. Thankfully you two met each other. My instincts tell me never to marry but just love. Thankfully my guy was patient with me and waited.And ever since I Finally realized I had fallen for him we have been very happy. I finally was ready.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Feb 11
some people just don't know how
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Feb 11
I know quite a few men like this! They claim to be in love with someone but it turns out to be someone unobtainable, like a celebrity. My friend MT has the exact same problem now--the last man she was involved with told her it was over yet allowed her to continue live there until she found a new place. She still maintains contact but can't find anyone to live up to her ideal who happens to be Adam Lambert! She's extremely picky and won't even go on a blind date! The more I think about it, you're 100% right! Thanks for sharing!