does he like me or is he being alone..??

@drdivu (1011)
India
February 20, 2011 1:56pm CST
hi all.. It would be kind enough if u spend some time reading my arrange marriage story... My parents decided on a guy, ph.d in science, good looking, very cultured and soft spoken and well versed in studies..he was very loving and caring on the first day after marriage was fixed..from the very next day, he quit his permanent job and took up temporary job in delhi..then he would be busy all day and would call at night..night too he would just talk how a girl should do after marriage and care and love and would say I miss u..while there would be no calls during the day.!! Then i met him twice, after about 4days of marriage fixing he started pestering me and my parents for marriage during night..which seemed weird to us..!! then on valentine day which was 7th day of our fixing of marriage he got angry while he kept convincing me for marriage as i told him this decision lies in the hands of my parents and that i need 3months atleast for this courtship...which infuriated him..!! I kept quiet as i did not know wat to do then...but i nodded my head.. he is very very serious type of person too..!! Also that he had 6 big vertical cut marks on his forehead..which could not be seen on the first day i met him as he had covered them with hair..!! Is he the right guy or not..?? I m clueless...
4 responses
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
20 Feb 11
It's your life. You have to decide if you want to marry a stranger. Just because he looks good on paper doesn't mean he's a good person. You don't even know what kind of person he really is. A lot of bad people seem really nice at first but once you get to know them they change. I realize this may be your culture and you might not want to do anything to bring shame on your family but you will be the one who has to live with this person day in and day out for the rest of your life. Choose wisely is all I have to say.
1 person likes this
@drdivu (1011)
• India
20 Feb 11
thanks for the response...Yes, u are right..we have to follow this culture.. the thing is this guy made me feel weird...2nd meeting he started scolding me ' there are no if's and but's...u have to support me as i future wife should" I felt weird... more so, he used to keep saying he liked emotional, romantic movies like notebook and up and p.s.I love u etc..many things..but i dont know whether he really means them or not..?? thats the confusion..if u get some idea, pls do share... (i m not adding my comments or feelings so that i can see other side too)
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Actions speak louder than words. If it were your best friend or sister going through the same thing what advice would you give her?
@drdivu (1011)
• India
20 Feb 11
hmmm....thanks..I get it..!! I will soon make things clear for him and me..!!
• Canada
20 Feb 11
I think you need to talk to your parents about this guy. He sounds controlling which could turn into him being abusive. if it doesn't feel right tell your parents how he makes you feel and maybe they won't force it on you.
1 person likes this
@drdivu (1011)
• India
20 Feb 11
yes..i will tell them now..as they were too fond of him so i thought of giving him 3rd chance...but i think i better tell them before its too late..!! thanks for the advice...
• Canada
21 Feb 11
Your welcome. I'm glad I could give you some good advice.
@crismina (17)
• Romania
20 Feb 11
Categoric not...not benefit you if you do not love this man????You think you will be fine with him???My opinionis NO
@akangirl (2437)
• India
20 Feb 11
I think he is not the right guy for you.Forgive me for being blunt about my opinion about him.I think you are from India as well like me .If he is like this in starting ,then he would make your life hell afterward.He is not even married to you and telling you what you should do or can't do, just imagine how horrible he will make your life after marriage.He is not at all understanding,he behaves like immature guy by getting angry for a small reason like waiting for 3 months.Get away from this relationship while you can.I strongly oppose the thinking that husband is like god, these type of thinking makes us girls weak.we also have self respect and if we don't respect ourselves then how can anybody will ever respect us.Be strong because its your life.You are going to bear this relation your whole life.