toxic parents

Malaysia
February 20, 2011 2:43pm CST
Hi Mylotters, Recently found a new article about parents who own negative behaviour grossly inflicts emotional damage which contaminates their children sense of self. This means parents who abused their children verbally, physically,mentally, sexually, as well as parents who are inedequate or ignore their children's emotional needs. There are toxic parents whose consistently negative patterns of parenting leave a legacy of guilt and shame within their children and worse still there are parents whose outright cruelty would be considered illegal if exhibited towards animals, let alone their own children. I hope there are people out there who have toxic parents and are willing to share with me what these toxic parents have done and how you able to solve the problems. Thanks
8 responses
• Brazil
20 Feb 11
My parents weren't toxic nor anything. They were really good people, although I was a loner. Yeah, I preferred to be alone than with my mom or with other kids. But now I'm 15 and I haven't changed much. I'm kinda picky in terms of friends. I really don't think my mom nor my dad influenced me into being like this.
@tiffnkeat (1679)
• Singapore
20 Feb 11
It's ok to choose friends, and choose good friends. As for being a loner, once you find good friends, they will draw you out. Continue to be polite. Cheers!
• Malaysia
21 Feb 11
HI LiniChan, I dont think you have toxic parents. In fact, you have good parents who gives you the freedom and loving you. Give good parents all your love and care. :)
@sarah245 (20)
• Jamaica
21 Feb 11
I think there are persons around who have not yet grasp the concept of parenting. I was viewing the Oprah Show on Sunday February 20,2011 and saw a twin girls who was sexually abused for 8 years by their brothers and father and the mother being knowledgeable of it did nothing. She actually saw the brothers raping the sisters and turned and walked from the room.It was a neighbour who reported it and ended this vicious cycle. If that is not a case of toxic parents, then I wonder what is?
• Malaysia
22 Feb 11
hi sarah245, In this world, NOT all parents are great. They are still humanbeing and they do make mistakes. It's either a small mistakes OR huge enough to hurt someone's life. Many people out there (sorry to say) know how to breed, but don't know how to raise the children and family. In Asia, children were thought to be filial piety towards their parents, regardless of what the parents have done. (Does this make sense???) Does that mean, eventhough the parents rape them and they still need to obey the parents? I think, the world today, needs to open their eyes and FULLY wake up about parenting. Don't threaten me by telling me one day, I will be parents and I will know what it takes to be parents. Being parents, they play such a huge role in developing lives of another human being on earth. Please don't leave bad spots in the children life.
@jennbart (1332)
• Philippines
21 Feb 11
Toxic parents makes their own kids toxic as well. They live in one roof, its natural that the kids will "inherit" that negativity on their own since they are exposed to the negative behaviors of their kids. They see it, experience it. They will really be immuned to the negativity, thus they will grow up.. very negative like their parents.
• Malaysia
21 Feb 11
HI jennbart, TRUE, toxis parents make toxic children. Can we put a stop to this? Can outside people help to change this children's life? Can we chip in their toxic family and stop this nuisance? It upsets me when we know the toxic parents gave "TOXIC" to the children ! Are we going to just mind our on business attitude? OR should we show concern to the couple??
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
21 Feb 11
Yes, there are toxic parents out there and that is sad. However children are supposed to become more than the sum of their parent's teachings. Life is about learning and growing. Sometimes this takes overcoming great adversity. There will be people in your life to help you and lead you to the light. You are more important to this world than you realize. You are special!!! Keep walking. You can make it to the light. There will always be sunshine after the worst storm. Count on that!!
• Malaysia
21 Feb 11
bird123, I can feel your positive attitude towards life which is great. You can be an angel in saving the life of toxic children. :)
• China
21 Feb 11
I'm not sure wether my father belongs to "toxic parents",but I'm sure that I hated him so much because of his apathy,selfish and terrible temper.I thouht he didn't have the quality to love family and people,only living in his own world. I grown up without perfect family happyness.what were worse was that I used to experiencing his family violence to my mom. But I don't want to let my normal life influenced by him,I turn my sadness and sorrow into more enthusiastic persue my positive life.I have a lot of honest friends who can assist me whenever I need them.Good job in study and kinds of meaningful activities also make me a relief.And my elder brother and mom always behind me . Now I gradually understand and sympathize my dad,he also a poor guy for never getting a piece of love from me for 23 years .Through several warm and happy talk,my dad promise that he will try his best to change himelf and learn to love and protect our family.That's the most moving promise in the world.
• Malaysia
21 Feb 11
hi sunshineme, Your father is a toxic father. I'm sorry if I have said this and be hurtful to you. For 23 years, you're not talking to him until finally he is promising you that he will change himself and learn to love and protect the family. If your father said that to you and meant himself really wanting to change, I have to agree with you, this is the best promise in your world. If he doesn't chance, do not get upset. Because of him, you have succeeded to be somebody in your job. :) Good luck in your endeavours!
@Ichiru101 (285)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Not to me but more to my sister. I ask my parents multiple times not to say this but the just ignore me. Ever since me and my sister were kid, my parents have non stop calling black pig, fat, stupid, and teasing her like saying shes ugly and ect. As she grows older my sister seem to lose a lot of self esteem. She to be ashamed of herself every time someone talks about her looks. I really wish for someway to help her build more confidences and not just about her looks.
• Malaysia
21 Feb 11
Ichiru101, WHERE IS THE LOVE in your family?? Ask your parents this, "are you trying to motivate sister by calling her pig, stupid, fat, ugly?" second question: "do you like yourself to be called stupid, pig, fat and ugly??"
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
20 Feb 11
My daughter and her husband used to talk harshly to one another.....until I pointed it out. It was upsetting my granddaughter and I could see the stress in her little face. Now its time to mention the same thing to my son and his wife. My five year old granddaughter is stressed by how much they fight. They don't directly yell at her...but their fighting has caused her to be upset. Little ones don't need to hear that!
• Malaysia
21 Feb 11
Hi jillhill, Your daughter and son in-law should opt for divorce is they keep fighting and verbally abusive in front of their young daughter. As a mother yourself, if you know that your daughter's relationship is not working anymore, you should be frank to tell her to go for divorce. I know this is tough for a mother to give out this kind of advice. But what if this fighting is continuous with no ending? what kind of fate your grand daughter going to have? Sometimes, in this kind of situation, I have to be frank with you, your grand daughter is the victim. she will not have a happy childhood nor a happy marriage in future. Her parent's fightings will be her nightmare forever. Unless, ur daughter and her husband promise to reconcile and change their attitude. If money is the main cause of the broken marriage, sorry to say, they have to work this out. Ask both to be hard working. spend more time making more money. If your daughter is too demanding, OR the husband is a lazy type, sorry to say, this arguement will be on going. no conclusion in the end. Divorce is still the best option. Good luck
@Galena (9123)
20 Feb 11
there's a rather wonderful poem by Philip Larkin about this. it's a bit sweary, so I can't post the title here, but if you're okay with the f word, this poem is rather apt for this thread it's here http://www.poetryconnection.net/poets/Philip_Larkin/1052