stay at home wife

@onlydia (2808)
United States
February 22, 2011 2:58am CST
I wanted to be a wife and mother that got to stay home. That is what we agreed on when we got married. So when I had to work because he wouldn't work enough I left and told him why. He told me I was to be a stay at home wife. So I figured if I had to support us he had to go because I can do broke all on my own. That was over 22 years ago and I'm glad that I made that choise as later I had a wonerful son with a lazy Man as well. He had to leave also. But I never did get to be the stay at home wife or Mom. I wish that it all could of been different as that is all I ever wanted to be. Like my Grandmother stay at home and take care of the family. How many of you wish you was a stay at home wife/mother?
3 people like this
18 responses
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
22 Feb 11
I had thought that would be a wonderful thing to do too..but it never happened. When I was married I had to work three jobs to keep our family going....cause he was to depressed! Well when I got a divorce people asked me how was I going to make it.....I said. Well I have one less mouth to feed so I'll do just fine.
2 people like this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
23 Feb 11
Well I guess one day we will get that dream. In the nursing home. We can race down the hall's. You have a good day at work Jill
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
22 Feb 11
I was blessed to be a stay at home mother and can't imagine having to leave my babies and children, it must be very hard and heartbreaking. I heard many of the other mothers complain about it, that they felt they were suffocating with no adult companionship while their husbands were off working. I didn't understand that, I loved being home with my children and there was rarely a dull moment. Even when they were in school I was busy all the time with the house, laundry, shopping, school projects, etc. I honestly don't know how working mothers manage to get everything done. You should be proud of yourself that you could go it alone and you set a good example for your son so he will want to be independent, too. There are mothers here that choose to work rather than stay home and I just can't wrap my mind around that. There are many more than absolutely have to work and I feel very sorry for them.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
22 Feb 11
I honestly don't know how working mothers manage to get everything done. You should be proud of yourself that you could go it alone and you set a good example for your son so he will want to be independent, too Its not easy..Before I met my husband I was not only working full time but also goin to school part time and taking care of my two young (at the time) kids and the house all alone and it was HARD. BUT it was what needed to be done at that time ya know...And EXCELLENT point on the son growing up to be independant etc...My kids, now almost 16 and 18 are very independant...They cook, clean, sew, know how to do laundry etc etc..They know how to budget, do grocery lists/shopping, bargain shop etc etc etc..
1 person likes this
@laglen (19759)
• United States
22 Feb 11
I had the fortune to do this for four years when my daughter was a little one. I loved it and was so happy I got this opportunity. I am sorry you didnt. I would love to keep house all of the time but I, like you, pick lazy men.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
23 Feb 11
I hear ya! I have pretty much given up on that too.
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
22 Feb 11
Yeah the men I pick were that so yeah. Then I did get one that said you won't have to work 11 months later he say's in this day and age we both have to work. What That is not what you said when you sold your house and moved into mine. OH no here we go again. Then all his true colors came out and he had to go. Did you do the laundry where is dinner and he sat on his behind. OH no I just put in 10 hours a day at work. So now I klnow I will never be a house wife but a dream is a dream.
1 person likes this
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
22 Feb 11
I am sorry to hear that... I have always wanted to be a stay home wife and mom. My husband never wants me to work, we got married 2 years old and I have become a mom last September. I think it is great to be staying home as a wife and mom instead of fighting at work... I think women is supposed to be like this, stay mom and take care of the children, unfortunately, a lot of young girls are being taught that they should work and get some status in this working society... I'm glad you are like me
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
22 Feb 11
Your very lucky and I hope you will alway's enjoy being a house wife. It will alway's be a dream for me I think but that is OK. One alway's needs a dream. Keep up the good work for me. Have a great day.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
22 Feb 11
Thank you
1 person likes this
@kheydia (882)
• Philippines
5 Mar 11
I wanted to be a stay at home wife, but sometimes my thoughts were on how about making my own earnings, i used to buy things using my own earnings. But the thought also of leaving my child under the care of someone makes me feel scared,It is really scary now a days because we do not know what kind of people they are. So i might as well chose to be a stay at home wife and maybe i could do a little business during my vacant time.
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
5 Apr 11
It was the same back in the old day's as well. You just here abuot it now as back then they never talked about it. It was the dirty little secert. you have a goodday
• Philippines
23 Feb 11
all of us have different likes..for me, i don't want to be a plain housewife because i wanted to practice my profession, i wanted to earn from my own so that if there are things i want to buy, i don't need to ask money from my husband to buy my wants..but whatever we want, it still depend on us..for as long as we are happy with the decision we made, then there can never be wrong with that..:)
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
23 Feb 11
So right you are with that. I alway's as far back as I can remember wanted to stay home and cook and clean and go to club meetings where the other stay at home Mom's and wife's were. But no I had to work. I didn't get to go to the neighbors for coffee or share cookies. I would of loved that. As I remember going with my Grandmother and them Ladies had a blast. Well you have a great day.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
22 Feb 11
I am a SAHM and have been for 12 yrs now and yes I do love it..HOWEVER if I did need to go back to work to help with the bills for some reason then I would have and still would if ever necessary. Why? Because I have children to care for and that includes finacially first off but also because we are a team (hubby/wife) so if for whatever reason my husband couldnt bring in enough to pay the bills etc I would step in and help out. Thats how it works (or should work IMO).. Like my Grandmother stay at home and take care of the family. That was then, things were different then..Times have changed, cost of living is much higher compared to when our grandparents were young etc...
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
22 Feb 11
As I sit here making coffee for work and doing all the things that need to be done. Some I will do when I get home. As I never go into basement to do laundry until after work.I look at things now and the way they were and from what they made to what we make. Yes we make more but things cost more. All in all it is all about the same except Medical. But I really just want to stay home. But you have a wonderful day.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
22 Feb 11
I'm lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. Sometimes it's stressful but I love being here for my kids. I love that I'm the one to get them up and ready for school in the morning and that I'm here to see them get off the bus. I wouldn't mind working a part time job though. I did a little bit, and it felt good to get out of the house. I had to stop though because financially it doesn't pay for me to work. If I worked all my money made would go to daycare and gas and lunches etc. So it's cheaper for me to stay home right now. My youngest starts preschool next year. I'm hoping to get a job at my kids school as either a classroom aide or in the cafeteria so that I can make some extra money but still be here to get them ready and get them off the bus.
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
23 Feb 11
That is what I wanted. I worked 3rd shift so I was there to get him up and off to school and got him when he got home. But then they closed that shift and I ended up on first. we got home about the same time. But it wasn't the same. We made it how ever. I still want to be able to stay home and just sit for the next 20 years. A dream is a Dream. I'm sick of working and I just want my first job I ever wanted.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
22 Feb 11
i was fortuante enough to be able to stay at home with my kids for 10 years while they were growing up. now that they are teens i only work part time so i am still at home with them for some of the time.
1 person likes this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
23 Feb 11
Well good for you. I just wanted to be a house wife. I couldn't have kids for years. But I did get one. But by then I was with someone else that was LAZY. So bye bye. Now I just want my old dream of being a house wife. But then I guess if that is the only dream I don't get then I'm ok with that. I got my son. So after that I'm good. Just a dream.
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
Wow actually to be a plain housewife is such a blessing. Imagine, you can devote your whole time in loving and taking good care of your kids and husband... Away from all the outside world stress... You'll have a closer relationship with your kids too! However, under some inevitable circumstances, wives need to go to work in order to help their husbands... That is to earn a living and to sustain the needs of your whole family. Laziness of the husband is NOT always the reason why some wives work... Sometimes, that happens because, they don't have any choice but to both work... Payslip is not enough to cover all those monthly expenses especially when the kids are already schooling... Sad but that is what happens all the time... Need to sacrifice in order to give our kids a good future/ education... I wish you financial blessings onlydia. I know it is harder for you, because you work and support your son alone... But as you said at least you have a wonderful son!!! That joy is actually immeasureable...
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
1 Apr 11
I do not know, want to be a housewife who like what. I have no desire to get married. I often heard the story, a wife should suffer. I do not want to be married.
1 person likes this
@hlgmdt (300)
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
I am still single, and I have never thought of becoming a stay-at-home Mom when the times comes. I've always thought of myself as a workaholic person, so staying at home and deprived of my own means of earning might be a terrible situation for me. With the economic problems, I think that it is also wise if both of the couple work. Also, there could be situations where the couples separate or divorce, and this leaves the woman in a difficult situation since she is jobless and financially incapable on her own. However, I do respect stay-at-home mom. My mother was one of them. She devoted all her time and effort to raising our family, and I commend her for that. I have friends who are housewives and I know that their role is a 24-7 job. Being a stay-at-home mom is not simple. Another thing with stay-at-home moms is that their attention is solely devoted to their family. There are no office problems and stresses that may get in the way of being a mother and a wife.
1 person likes this
@staria (2780)
• Philippines
23 Feb 11
When I became a mom, I've been a stay at home wife/mother by choice. Because I cant seem to entrust my kids to other people like babysitters etc. But being a stay at home mom/wife is not really easy. I get bored and hot headed all the time. I thought that I am alone and my friends were all gone and that I have no connection w/ the outside world anymore. But I did it, looked for an online job and I have overcome these things. Plus I dont have to leave my kids alone w/ someone else, I get to take care of them 1st hand.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
I do not wish to be a stay at home wife as I am a woman who is partly independent and sometimes dependent as well. I think at this time of crisis and prices of commodities are really raising, it is not practical to just stay at home and do nothing about it. I believe in gender equality and working for the family is fine. Raising a family is both the man and the woman's responibility; shared responsibility. But being a plain housewife has many advantages as well, only that I'm not used to it... :)
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
1 Nov 12
For the past 7 years I have been very lucky to be a stay at home wife and mother. That is all I ever wanted to do too and I finally got it with our fourth child. But it is with sacrifice. We have 6 people to take care of with one income only. I am thinking that I will have to go back to work for a few years to help out with saving for our retirement, etc. I really don't mind if it means we have a more comfortable retirement. Have a nice day and happy myLotting!!!
@dodo19 (47034)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
11 Dec 11
For the moment, I would say that I am a stay at home mom. My husband and I just welcomed our first child, a little girl. As we don't have a lot of money and want to have more children that are close in age, I am okay with staying at home for the next couple of years. However, eventually, I do want to be able to go back to work. I was lucky enough to get my B.A. and hope to use it.
• United States
10 Apr 11
Well I am living it. I am a stay at home mother or four. I also home school the three older girls. I love it and am luck enough to have a husband who agrees with me that it is better for our children to have one of us home at all times. He is a good man and works hard for our living. He took it very hard last week when he was laid off but we will work it out like we always do. If I do have to go back to work I will but I know he will do anything to make sure I do not have to.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
4 May 12
For the most part before I was married I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Sense I've been married I've only had to work part usually no more than 15-20 hours at first. Then for the last three years I've only had to work around 15 hours. Now that I've had the experience of being at home for the majority of the time I would like to work more and get more hours.I think it would be nice to be able to have money of my own rather than having to depend on my husband. As that can make things difficult. It seems he complains either way. When I'm working more he complains because it cost to much in gas and it's not helping. But then when I'm not working he complains that I'm not making enough. So I would just like to be able to find something where I can make a decent amount and support myself. I'm sorry to hear that you weren't able to stay at home like you wanted to and that you were with two men who weren't supportive.