How do you know you really love someone?

@cmecu6 (420)
United States
February 26, 2011 1:52am CST
For some people "I Love You" comes so easily, for others it is very difficult. For example I don't say "I Love You" to just anybody. I really have to genuinely love them for me to say these 3 words. Reason is I feel like if a person don't really know me, how can they honestly love me? Sure be neighborly, kind, and caring, but love me really? So my question is... Should these 3 words be said/use so lightly and if its said, what is the value on it? I like to know that when I'm told I'm loved, that I am truly love, not simply because it roll out of their tongue...
4 people like this
13 responses
@hlgmdt (300)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
For me, saying those three words to someone leads to a lot of responsibility, and if you can't mean what you really said, don't bother telling it. I agree that there are people who let those words slip their tongue very easily, without being aware of the impact that it creates to the other person. Personally, I say those words to someone if I'm already sure of the feeling and I'm determined to stand by it. In my case, I know that I love someone if I go out my way just to greet him or find out how he is. I am not an expressive person, but if I love someone, my shyness goes away, and I find myself being extra caring.
@cmecu6 (420)
• United States
26 Feb 11
Hi hlgmdt, Right? we agree about it being said too easily with some people. What I curious is.....What if you're just acquaintance? The acquaintance says those three words, how should a person take it? I guess, I can understand if you already have some kind of friendship/relationship with a person, but the ones I'm puzzled about are the ones that you hardly know.. you know what I mean?
• United States
26 Feb 11
It's quite true that love means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I've come to know love by three different forms: friend and family, romantic, and spiritual. I have heard of other cultures around the world that 16 or more different meanings for the word 'love'. If your definitions are simple--like mine--love is rather easy to understand. If your 'love' for someone does not follow each of these things on a checklist, it's not love: -If the person cheated on you, could you forgive them and still have all the same feelings? -If you saw that the person was in pain, would you honestly take all of their pain simply so they didn't have to deal with it--even knowing that YOU would? -Are you unafraid to admit your feelings for the person to your parents, friends and everyone else? There are probably more criteria for this checklist, but if you can answer 'yes' to each of those criteria you might love that person. This is only my opinion, of course, but if a person answers 'no' to any of these then the feeling is just some degree of 'like'.
• United States
26 Feb 11
I forgot to mention that I would not describe love as having feelings for a person when they're at their best, but having those same tremendous feelings for the person when they are at their worst.
@cmecu6 (420)
• United States
26 Feb 11
adammason, I like it. Very insightful. Thanks
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
27 Feb 11
I agree with you. I have never taken those words lightly. I never told a single person I dated I loved them until I met my husband and I knew for sure that I truly loved him. I think it is important to tell people that you do love to remind them of how much you love them. I tell my children that I love them all the time an my husband too. I should probably tell my parents more often.
@zhouxi (1752)
• China
27 Feb 11
It's easy said than done.i know a friend ,when she went abroad ,she met the the first person a garage worker who helped her .she said "I love you".what's your feeling?
• Philippines
27 Feb 11
It is inevitable that there are people who are so hypocrite in saying the words, I love you, even though they do not really mean it. If you meet these kind of people, just be passive about it. You will just feel the sincerity of a person when he or she says such words to you which crosses to your heart.
@vasugi (143)
• India
27 Feb 11
Well my friend it really depends on who tells you those 3 words... when it comes from different people it means different things.. When those 3 words comes from father and mother then they it means they are proud, if its from your friends then they care for you and will support you, if its from your kids then they say it with cute innocence, if its from your husband its true love... boy friends do say these words very often but it depends on the level of relationship you have.. if others say just like that then I can think of only one thing, that is they are using you or they need u for just that minute...
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
26 Feb 11
you have to be able to see them in the rest of your life or you cnat picture your future without them.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
26 Feb 11
Sometimes we can get the feeling of love confused with lust or infatuation. it can be difficult to decide which feeling is true. The heart is not confused when it comes to love. You know that love is definitely what you are feeling when that person is always in your heart and just the mention of their name is enough to move you.
@dreamnishu (1247)
• China
26 Feb 11
yes you are right for some people it is very easy to say I LOVE YOU.it is really not so easy.if i do not know him how can i say that i love you to anyone.for this i have to know how is he,everything about him and of course that he also love me or not.i do not like to use this 3 words for anyone.it is a special words for special person. thanks a lot.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
26 Feb 11
I think by supporting, forgiving and accepting someone else's fault and mistakes.
• Abbeville, Mississippi
26 Feb 11
you are right. there should be feelings there before hand. get to know the person before those 3 words are said. i should know.
• India
26 Feb 11
You can judge from your lover's eyes and touch. Though words are not forthcoming, the eyes will show what he/she has in mind.
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
Nowadays saying "i love you" is a common saying..Although it must have a deep sense of meaning to the one who takes the words and must be truly declared,it becomes just simple message of thought that anyone can speak of. But for me, the way he told the 3words and by looking directly in his eyes will tell me if he's telling it earnestly. Eyes is the window of our soul the opening of our hearts and the door of the mind where we can see the truth. It will never lie for the eyes of sincerity has integrity and passion to the one where his heart beats for. Love has a broad meaning with branches of characters. You love somebody when you cares for her,when you give most of your time to the person you want,when you accept his good and bad sides and when you started to lie bout your feelings but it's your heart that is controlling your emotions so as your mind to make some body languages to attract his attention. it's not flirting but transmitting the message that can't be uttered into words. The word "i love you" is lacking maybe but the feelings and emotions are present and that's important.