Mom/ Dad loves you best!

United States
February 26, 2011 10:26am CST
Have you ever ben compared to your sibling? Did you parents try to use either your sister or brother as an example of What to do correctly. Or were you being used as the bad example? Me, no. My sister is much older than I . We wern't brought up at the same time so I got the best of both worlds. I was raised as only child and yet I have a sister that I can pal around with now that my parents are both gone. I never had the feeling I Had to be like her. My best guess is that if my parents were to do that, I would have become the bad seed. I couldn't be good like her , so I would opt for evil! How about you? Were you ever compared? Or did you Know you weren't Mom's or Dad's favorite?
2 people like this
19 responses
• Canada
26 Feb 11
I have one sister and I'm three years older. My parents didn't compare us for most things but I do remember there being some contention when my sister started college. I have a Business Admin degree and my parents pressured my sister to do the same thing as I had done. They saw it as a path to "getting a good job." For the most part, because my parents did not have extensive educations themselves, I think they weren't really familiar with the types of degrees and programs available and what I had done was just what they knew. My sister went into a Retail Management program instead and she confided in me years later that she had only done so to not give in to the parental pressure. She did extremely well, mind you, but I wonder if she ever regrets the reason for her choice. But, besides that, our parents never played favorites... they treated us very much the same at all times and were very critical of any family members that didn't. We had one grandmother that tried to favor me over my sister and my parents put a stop to it right from the get go.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
I guess I was born stubborn!And I wasn't shy with my mom. She never tried to pressure me to go into Any field. but then again I told her once that I would pick a college with a tall building so when I fail at my studies , I could jump off. I hope your sister had and is Still having a good life. And I am so glad to hear about your parents. It is tough to stand down a grandmom!
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Feb 11
My sister and I always say that our parents never pressured us to be successful but we always felt that there was implied expectation -- they never said we HAD to do well in school but somehow we both grew up feeling that anything less than honors grades were not going to be "good enough." Funny how we feel a certain way without any words being spoken, isn't it? We were never unhappy... we had a great childhood, both of us. It's just how we remember it now when we chat about it as adults. My sister does have a great life :) She worked in "her field" for awhile but didn't really like it. Now she's the executive assistant to the CEO where she works and she's much happier doing that :)
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
8 Mar 11
Well, parent's did not avoid to compare there children for the purpose of showing how some of their kids to be.... The comparison method of parents to correct and device the good behavior of their children did not mean they don't love the other... This is one of the ways they know to see that one of the children follow...But it really some children did not see it at a method of their parents to make them a good citizen someday...but they rebel instead of following the example of their parents
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Mar 11
The parents must have all the best intentions but being compared does hurt. It Feels as thought they love the good one and loathe the other. It may look like they are rebelling but they may be doing what I would have, gave up. Mom and Dad Already see me as a failure so Why try?
@dpk262006 (56110)
• Delhi, India
27 Feb 11
This figures in today's top discussion list (27th Feb). I am elder to my brother and was not compared to him, rather he was compared with me.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
He must hate that. " Why can't you be more like dpk26006!"
27 Feb 11
well i am a twin, and i feel that my parents have never been with with what ive done. they have never been happy with any of the jobs i have done compared to my sisters, they have never really been happy with any of my boyfriends compared to my sisters, my twin got married, has 2 kids and my parents were thrilled. i have never been married, was with my ex for 12 and a half years and when i got pregnant both times my parents basicallyhad the complete opposite reaction to my sis. i have always been the brunt of jokes in the family too.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
That S@cks! Just because you chose not to marry , they look down on your union? Just because you didn't get the posh job they are so upset? This is B@llsh!t. They Should lobe you because you are you , not because of all these things! I know this may not come across because we ae not friends but I value you.Do you Like your work? Are your kids happy with mommy? Do you like being unmarried? If you can answer yes to at least two of these, You are a success, no matter what your parents say! Think about it, wouldn't you be miserable working where They want you to, marrying the man They Think is right for you?So the next time you are demeaned , just say to them, in your head,. " Go take a flying F@ck at a rolling donut! This is my life and I like it!
@sy0712 (156)
• China
27 Feb 11
I am home only daughter,so what you say,but I find it hard to understand,I have had an idea that in the future the birth of my child I must have just one child,unless pregnant with twins because I want to give my child a full of love!
• United States
27 Feb 11
Oh No! Don't take it that way! If you want more than one child , Go for It! Just remember to treat each child as they are your favorite. Never compare them. Take them as is. Each will have different talents. You will be fine mother. No Worries.
@SViswan (12072)
• India
27 Feb 11
I have a sister who is 7 years younger. Though looks-wise we are very similar...we are very different as individuals. I don't remember being compared when I grew up. And as in your case, we weren't raised together....when I was a teenager, she was still a little girl....and she started her teens when I was out of it. I was married while she was still in high school. So, I do not remember any time we were compared. But now my sister stays with our mom and she says that mom compares her a lot with me. She doesn't like it one bit. Though mom would tell me the same stuff when I was her age...she never compared us (I guess she couldn't since my sister hadn't been through that phase yet). As far as favourites go, both of us have complained that the other was our parents' favourite :) lol...guess that's a normal phase that all kids go through. We've now reconciled to the fact that I'm dad's favourite and she is mom's. Having kids of my own, I know it's not true though.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
To this day I don't know who was who's favorite. I lost my dad when I was 12. And My mom 5 years ago. But one thing I know about myself, if I were compared to a sibling , I would take it as a rejection of who I am and not a motivation. I would withdraw and deem myself a failure and then feel the freedom to do what I wanted!
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
I knew this from when I was young. It was okay for me. It acted as a motivation to try an extra effort over everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
It would have the opposite effect on me. If they Love and admire my sibling soo much , they don't need me. I am not wanted , so I am free to do what I want.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
26 Feb 11
I am the oldest sibling. i have two younger brothers and a younger sister. Unfortunately, i received the unasked for task of setting the example for everyone else. if my younger siblings did something wrong my parents would find a way for me to share in the blame. i know that my parents loved us equally but they had their ways making you feel more or less love at times. I always seemed to get mom and dad love you best because you were first but i don't believe that was ever true.
• United States
27 Feb 11
I would have been disowned. If I were blamed for things they did... I would have gone so evil. They would be so frustrated!
• Indonesia
26 Feb 11
sometimes we don not want to be compared with a younger brother or sister, but it is the way our parents to teach us. We know that we love mom and dad. i love you all
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
" The way to teach us." Wow. Sadly I would have learned I am not good enough and never will be.
• India
7 Mar 11
That is very common to happen, our parents love us to the fullest compare to anybody else. I have seen some parents not being fair to their all kids, may be based on gender but that ratio is very less. I would never want to see this happening around me. I just hate this situation.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
3 Mar 11
I wouldn't say I was a favorite, but I think my brother and my sister always got compared to me. I am the eldest, and I was the one to first fly off the coop. I studied away from home, worked first, and moved my family away from my hometown. So whenever I get a chance to get home, I feel like a favorite. And often I would here those comments.
1 person likes this
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
27 Feb 11
gud evening friends, i have a sibling, we used to fight so much in our childhood but now we are like friends.My parents usually don't compare but when ever we fight my mom supports any one of us then v'l f8 on that issue.I start saying that u people care her most rather than me and my sister also use the same words but more often she uses b'coz my mom supports me quite often. But as i'm the first kid my mom loves me more and my dad prefers my sister. But our's is a cute family:-)
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 11
I knew very well I was not the favorite child. I truley believe I am now though. I am the closest to my mother of all her kids. I go to see her more than anyone else does. My mother,me an my brother are living a corner from each other. I go see her way more than him. My sister is three corners away and barely goes to my mothers house. she was the good one who was the favorite growing up.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Feb 11
My sister's & brothers were a lot older than I am so they were all pretty much out of the house when I was really young. After my brother moved out thats 5 yrs older than I am I was the only child left in the house. My dad tend to play forvoritism towards me after I was born then put my brother on the back burner from what I was told. I always felt my sisters & brothers were able to do more than I was able to do as teenagers. I see it from one view but my siblings see it from another point of view. With them being older I am sure they have seen and know more than I do.
1 person likes this
@amirev777 (2552)
• India
26 Feb 11
Hi Making a comparison between the sibling can be the worst thing that parents can ever do. This really makes the sibling rivalry more hostile. I was lucky because my parents never made comparison between us and I was the elder brother supposed to be protective towards my younger brother.
1 person likes this
@joygracia (1328)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
I am the youngest that is why Im my dad and moms apple of the eye. I got 4 jealous brothers who does nothing but makes my life miserable but I got my parents to protect me and love me all the way. I love them all my life and Im glad I got them. I really thank GOD for them. THank you for sharing.
1 person likes this
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
2 Mar 11
Dear friend, wanna ask you a simple question, answer immediately, "Which side eye you love most right eye/left eye?". ha ha ha.... Your question is also like that. I am not joking friend. Parents(mother and father) are the two eyes for Us. How can we see differently. Thanks for sharing your thought.
• United States
3 Mar 11
I prefer my left eye because it is better and I am left handed butThat wasn't the question. The question was , which child was favorited by their parents.And with this , many parents differ. In many families one is dad's favorite and another is mom's. That works well if there are only two children . But if there are three? The child left out must feel like a nothing.
• India
4 Mar 11
Few of the dads can pour more love on one child not on another. This is because of lacking interest. The dad(role) has to understand and share the love equally.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Mar 11
Agreed!
@rflfly (51)
• China
27 Feb 11
mon and dad's love is the greatest love in the word.we should love them forever.
• United States
27 Feb 11
Only if you feel it!By comparing their children can cause one to learn to hate them.
• Sweden
26 Feb 11
mom/dad love is the best ..and we cannot compare their pure love with any other love