Do you think that you spoil your children?

United States
February 27, 2011 9:06am CST
Whether you are a new parent or a grandparent, everyone has different parenting styles, and I am curious about how parents see their own styles of parenting. And if you don't have kids yet, how do you think you would treat your children? Would you be strict or indulgent? Would you use corporal punishment? Which behaviors would you especially hate to see in your children?
3 people like this
12 responses
• United States
27 Feb 11
My daughter is spoiled rotton and it is all my fault. I can't do anything with the girl now. All she wants is her man and her freedom. I think in time life will teach her a lesson.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
So you think that your treatment is what led to her current behavior? Or do you think that other circumstances helped the fact that you spoiled her?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
I know her getting what she wants has to do with me giving her what she wanted all her life. She can't seem to handle the word no. if she can't get her way she hates the world. Right now she is in her glory and I can only imagine how long she will want things this way.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Feb 11
Well my parents spoiled me well enough. But they can count on me to do the right thing at the right time. The only problem they have with me is that they think i procrastinate and they are right if you ask me. They are always right. Don't ask me why but i like to do things at the last moment. I am really a lazy guy if you ask me and i would do everything quickly but somehow manage everything! Cheers!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
I am a procrastinator as well, but my behavior would be more careless and senselessly self-destructive without the tenets of behavior instilled in me by my parents. I think that's really awesome; when a child is born with a certain personality, and negative traits, it's up to their parents to guide those traits into the waters of productivity and responsibility for ones' actions. It seems like your parents succeeded with that, and I like to think that mind did as well.
1 person likes this
27 Feb 11
Hi, I try to balance my love for my children so that they do not see this as a sign of weakness. I give them what they want as long as they are worthy of receiving it. For example is I give them toys and gadgets as long as I do not see any failing grades on their report cards. I cannot imagine myself rewarding them with luxury when they have not worked hard to deserve it.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
That sounds very logical, and I applaud your sense of balance and moderation. When I was younger, I saw too many of my peers being rewarded by their parents for disrespectful and rebellious behavior, which made my parents seem even less accommodating and loving in comparison. Now that I look back, I am very grateful to my parents for their routine,regulated, and farsighted treatment of me.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 11
I don't believe in spoiling my children. I have always been seen as the wicked mom who rule their lives with iron fist. But they only have me to thank for what has become of them now. I have molded their characters to be responsible citizens of this planet and what they coined me as a wicked mom once has greatly benefited their present and their incoming future. I am happy to leave my earthly existence knowing that my kids are successful in life. I have fully satisfied my mission on earth.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Feb 11
Those thoughts are very well articulated, thank you, and I am glad that you didn't let anyone sway you into giving your children love so sweet that it spoiled them and hurt them (in the long run).
1 person likes this
@ifa225 (11097)
• Indonesia
28 Feb 11
Hi alex, i have three kids, and i can say that i often spoil them. it is not that i want to, but it happens spontaneous every time they do some mistakes. i know we are only human which fill with errors. the mistake that i can't stand to see is lie. i really hate if they do that to me
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38996)
• Philippines
27 Feb 11
hello, I am a mother of three kids,and now on their young teen age. I raised them all in same manner,but my middle kid is far different from my eldest and youngest. I am not a strict mom,i make sure that our relationship is not purely a parent-kid,but also a mother-friend/buddy relationship. Maybe,it depends on each individual behavior. I am also wondering why...but i am still hoping my son will change as he grows older and thinks mature. Have a great day
• United States
27 Feb 11
Sometimes parents think that they raised all three of their children in the same way, but in truth they change with every new child. I am not saying that this is you, but are you sure you raised them all in the exact same way? And you also have to take into account that they all grew up in different times in society and in your particular family. Of course, a child's personality dictates how they will react to their parents as well, so that is a valid point. And why are you hoping for your son to change? How does he act now?
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38996)
• Philippines
27 Feb 11
maybe you are right...but i am sure that i raised and took care of my kids the same way/manner. I don't even hire nanny ,and i took care of my kids by myself becoz i want to enjoy every moment of their childhood. As of now,my son listens for a while then,after wards,seems to forget his words and do the same mistake again.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
27 Feb 11
Parenting is no easy job. When my kids were young, I set a barrier so they won't treat me as any ordinary adult and respect my words as bible truth. Soon as they started their working life, I downgrade my tune of talking to them since they are no longer kids but adultkids with professional careers. Now we can interact with each other openly more like a friend than a mother/son relationship.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
28 Feb 11
Hi. alexzizi123. I would treat my kids with love and respect. I will also take time out with them. I will help them. I will teach them to be positive. I will give them privileges. I will enforce positive discipline with them. I will show them that I love them. I will not tolerate disrespect from them. I would not be strict on them, I would only be protective of her safety. If I use corporal punishment, it would be a spanking on the rear end. Or a pop, on the hands.. I would hate to see a child cursing, lying and teasing others.
@mermaidivy (15407)
• United States
28 Feb 11
I think I love my child, I do spoil him at some degree by hugging him, cuddling him and stuff. I like to buy him toys sometimes but I try not to do thaqt anymore, I would save it for Christmas or Birthday for him so I don't teach him that luxuries are necessary.
@sizzle3000 (3039)
• United States
28 Feb 11
I thinkeveryone just wants what's best for their kids no matter what rules you go by. I also believe that evryone wants to give their child/children more than what they got when they were kids. I tried to raise my child with disipline while giving her what she wanted. And for the most part it worked until she became a teen. Once they hit that age I think all bets are off. They think they know everything and think they can do what ever they want. I would hope that my daughter will raise her kids about the same as I raised her when she has her own. Well at least with the same morales anyway.
@youless (96988)
• Guangzhou, China
28 Feb 11
I don't think I will spoil my child. I think I am updating my method all the time. I love my child but I know that spoiling him is just to ruin him. I don't want to be strict as the "tiger mother". I just want to be reasonable. I love China
@sy0712 (156)
• China
28 Feb 11
Because I still have no children of their own,so now I would say I can not be certain doting,doing something wrong must be punished,but I really think I arrived at that time perhaps I will not do so,because I was so love children,I just want to put all my love to them!
• India
28 Feb 11
I am a parent of 2 kids but I never give them punishment nor do I scare them with some punishment. I would like to be good to them and they share with me everything what they do. They do not hide anything from me. I feel proud that I am not strict to my children.