Making the right decisions..

Philippines
February 28, 2011 9:30pm CST
I always thought life is simple. It changed my belief when complications in life came, like marriage, break-ups, second partner, a baby and every little thing that goes with those mentioned. I don't know if someone out there can relate to what I'm feeling but right now, I'm really confused. Confused because what seems simple before now became complicated because whatever I decide and do now, it's not just me who will be affected, I do have kids now to think of. So my mind keeps on battling with a question... Should you stay in a relationship just for the sake of the children even if you and your partner know that you already fell out of love with each other? Will my kids understand me if I go my separate way? I don't know right now... but I'm waiting for the enlightenment and a sign that will lead me to the right path...
12 responses
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
I'm still single and somehow we are of different experience in life. Life is never that simple but you can manage things and trials that come your way. I guess, it is better if you'll discuss things with your partner and have an open communication. Having a divorce is a tough decision. You can't just do so all at once. If your kids are still very young by then, I guess it is not yet time to get a divorce. Just stay as a whole family and work things with your partner. Be open to him and let him be to you as well. No proper communication and insisting on your own really makes small problems big. Just don't let your children see you quarrel. It will create a negative impact on them. Settle things in a nicer way--between the two of you. There is still time for a change. It's never too late. But still, if it doesn't work, just discuss it with him but both should explain to your kids of what's happening. You may not need to give the full negative details. All you need to do is just to make a diplomatic explanation. It may be brief and simple. In time, your children will fully understand everything.
@thaMARKER (3094)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
yeah.. i was and am a simple person. what i want is just simple and am on it i believe. but the thing in my case is what others cause me to get a little bumpy during my ride. people demands something, people would get in your way, people would like to take part of what you have or trying to have.. so you have to consider them as well right. haaaay.. life. what i want is live, smile, get paid and have fun.
• China
1 Mar 11
how old is your kids?If he is too young,i will probabely seek to fix the relationship rather than broker away,feeding kids is our obligation and a broker family certainly affect the nurturance. but if your kid is not too young, i will just tend to broker up if the two feel out of love with each other,just want to provide a better place for him to grow up,with the kids grow up gradually,he will understand all the thing.Good luck and have a nice day!
@agrim94 (3811)
• India
1 Mar 11
Hi pocoyojk, Life is and never was a bed of roses. It has its own problems and by the time you solve one problem another raise his head. To me if you have child or children then you should stay in the marriage because it is life you have brought in this world and it is your duty to give them a proper home where they have their biological parents and grow up normally and every sacrifice is worth doing it.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
1 Mar 11
Hi, Life is not easy and unpredictable. So do treasure what you have now. Life is full of complications and nothing will go smoothly all the time in our life. There will be always some small problem happened in between and it is when we have to handle it well and try to solve the problem. For your case, although both parties do not love each other,but for the sake of the children, do consider to save the relationship and try to work it out again. If come to the worse,then separation will be the best option. Of course, before separation is done,both parties must agree on who is taking care of the children,so that they won't have any further argument in future.
@joygracia (1328)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
Making the right decision could be as hard as I see it. Its very misleading sometimes especially when you've gone to experience the hard way. Being cautious could be helpful but its very difficult considering its brings up lots of anxiety every step of the way. I'm kinda scared in making decisions but to deal with things difficult, I just let my instinct do the job.
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
I think you should stay together for the kids for awhile. You should think of their future first. Some decisions you have to make in life are surely hard so you have to be wise on making them, like this one. Think of the kid's education and their future. If you go your separate way now, their lives might not turn out the way you want it to be.
• China
1 Mar 11
I don't know what makes you feel that you and your partner already fell out of love? Have him told you so? if not, communicate with him, let him know how you feel and let yourself know how he feels. Sometimes communication is best solution. Good luck with you:)
• South Korea
1 Mar 11
I think you better talk to your partner and let him know how you feel, and ask him about his feelings too.. sometimes problems comes along, and maybe few changes might solve it but it also come with consequences... Its hard for the children to have a broken family, and if maybe somehow you really think that theres no more love in your heart for your husband, take a second look and analyze clearly, sometimes when were in pain, we made dicissions without actually seeing all the possible things that might happen... Wish you all the best goodluck..
@chavezrmc (4112)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
Well you are right, Life is simple but we can never get away with complications, Problems in relationship come and go, but never think that because you are mad of your partner then you are not in love anymore or worst you are out of love. One reason is you are so comfortable with your spouse that you can throw any words that can hurt and later regret. Even if we are married never forget to give each other respect in this way we can slow down with our emotions and hopefully can have a better decision. Remember too that you have your children to think of, Don't be selfish to just think of yourself, they are your obligations. Try to fix than break. If you gave your 100 percent for this family, then you can tell yourself someday that" I did my best" And if negative or positive things happened at least you gave it your best shot.
@laken02 (3067)
• United States
1 Mar 11
are you sure yor out of love with them ? could it be you just need a break away from them i know i tryed to leave my husband for 1 day i moved next door to my moms and just took a few clothes and i got over there and i missed my husband really bad.. maybe you just need to seperate for awhile if there was somewhere you could go for a few days and just think before you up and leave for good.. i dont think you should stay just for the kids you have to be happy too but make sure you want to leave.. and wont miss him once your gone...good luck
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
1 Mar 11
Whoever said like was simple? I don't believe in staying together for the children. Sometimes the children will do better when the parents aren't constantly fighting. My parents got divorced when I was 11 and I was happy. I thought the fighting would stop (it didn't). But if the parents aren't happy and still together it still affects the kids negatively. If it didn't work out it didn't work out it's not the end of the world.