Favor for an inconsiderate person?
By sais06
@sais06 (1284)
Philippines
March 1, 2011 8:09am CST
What do you think about those people who are nice to you only when they need something from you but shows no consideration when they have nothing to ask from you?
I think these are the kinds of persons who only think and care about the welfare of themselves. Should we continue to get along with them or refuse them at times?
It's just so sad when you expect that person to return the favor you have given them especially if it's just a small thing.
Well I'm not the kind of person who will always say "no" so it just feel sometimes that you are taken advantage of.
So how do you deal with these kinds of persons?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@jennbart (1330)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
Those types of people I steer clear of. I am not expecting them to be there for me when I need them, but atleast keep in touch with me even if they do not need anything from me. That is all I am asking. If they cannot do that atleast, then they arent worth it. There are people who appears when they need you, they ONLY keeps in touch and texts me when they are in need then forget me when I attend to them already. The next time they texts me, I will tell them I am busy or just cannot make it. Sometimes I can get really brutal and tell them " whoa! do I know you? Now that you need me, suddenly you know me?Do we know each other?
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
But what if it's inside the office and he's somewhat higher in position than you? Often times they give us extra work even though it's not already part of our job but the worst part is they never appreciate it but instead give negative comments to the task given to you. They do not understand that they're just asking favor from us and should be thankful because we spend extra time to finish it. I can say that I'm a helpful person but being helpful doesn't always help.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
1 Mar 11
So tired of these kind of people. In fact I have been slowly but surly weeding them out of my life because I just cannot take them anymore.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
2 Mar 11
Well I basically just told my brother in law to F off and not to come near me and my children ever again. My husband was a bit nicer about it I guess by making an announcement to the family that we not only will have nothing to do with him but that we would not be going to anything he was attending. His family chose to support my brother in law though and I wish I could say I was sorry for what happened but as they are all under investigation for stolen property (my in laws let him move back in with them) and child abuse (all reasons we didn't want anything to do with him) I cannot. As for some others I just say no when they ask me to do something. I just don't care if I am rude any more though I try to be nice about it.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
That is a very serious situation especially if the family is involved. I think that isn't rude but you're just being fair to yourself and your family. We have to be open and bold sometimes so that we don't end up being taken advantage of. I believe what you did is right because you just want to protect yourself and your family as well.
Thanks for sharing this and I just hope that you'll get over it soon.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
1 Mar 11
Yes I know the type, but it has been so long since I have had anything to do with someone like that, I don't know what I'd do. Back then I'd avoid them, but I have changed over the years, so unless one comes into my life, I can only guess what I'd do.
First of all, if I start seeing a pattern, where someone only contacts me for money or a favor, I'd try to come up with a different plan other than just giving them cash or help. For example, if they continued to ask for money, I'd suggest a different job or a budgeting class. (In a loving way of course) If they continue to ask for favors like help with cleaning their home, I'd suggest they come and help me do something in return. If they make excuses like lack of time, I'd say but I saved you time by helping you. And I'd probably even say something like friendship is a two-way street, and that I don't mind helping them, but I'd like some help too.
So I guess it also depends on what they are taking from you, money, time, labor??? If they were a real friend, they wouldn't mind helping you out when you need it..
I hope that helps, because like I said, I only guess what I'd really do because everyone I helped out, they either help me out or pay me, so I don't have that kind of friend at this moment..
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
It's good to hear that you don't have friends like that and of course I don't want that kind of friend. I can guess also that it's easier for me to avoid them if we didn't see each other everyday or that s/he is some other place. But the problem is that you see each other everyday and that you can't just avoid them, say for example an officemate and that s/he is somewhat higher in position than you.
Will you just let it be? There are times we accept tasks from them even though it's not already part of our job but just because you want to give them favor. It's just bad sometimes because we get bad impression from them every time we say "no".
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Wow, somehow I totally missed your reply to this...Well, thanks for the BR and you are right, since I don't have a job outside the home, where I have to deal with co-workers, that might be a different story..I know my husband tends to do things for others at work,while they do nothing for him, but he kind of put that on himself when he doesn't speak up in the beginning..
@edb225112 (124)
• United States
1 Mar 11
Each transaction you have with another person has some reward for one party or the other. In the best trasactions both people get some reward. What you have to do is learn to weigh what your reward is for saying yes to a request from someone who uses you again and again. If the reward for you will not be equal or greater than what you expend to get that reward, learn to say "NO." The people who take advantage of you will soon be long gone. They will move on to others who they can continue to use or the people they really like. People only take advantage of you when you let them.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
Hello edb!
Actually I will still be able to accept it even if the reward is lesser than expected but what I can't take is that instead of reward it's becoming like a punishment. Now when you say "no" they will be having negative thoughts about you and when that thought spreads then everybody will start to doubt about you. Maybe we just shouldn't let this happen again and I hope I can. I'll try as much as possible next time to choose only the persons whom I will be giving favor to. What do you think?
@staria (2780)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
There are lots of people who would like to take advantage of other people. They are good in receiving but sucks when they need to give back.
I really dont know if you are to give them a favor. It depends on you. But IMO, if you are to help someone you have to do it wholeheartedly. So if you are not 100% into it, you need not to do it.
1 person likes this
Maybe we also have faults for letting them take advantage of us. I just hope I won't encounter those kinds of people again.
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
4 Mar 11
those are the kind of people i dislike the most. i have met people as such and they made me hate them. I try to avoid them as much as possible. I'm glad the set of friends i have right now are nothing like that. They're the best people i've ever met.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
It's good to know that you don't have friends like that as they will really make your day very unpleasant. I'm trying now also to get some distance from those kind people as I've already had much from them. Maybe they'll just get used to us when we don't know how to say "no".
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
1 Mar 11
I know these people all too well unfortunately. These people, I really could do without them. They won't give me the time of day a lot of the time. However, when they need something, then they are suddenly my best buddy in the entire world. It would be amusing if it is not agitating to say the least. There are a lot of people who are fickle to say the very least.
And you're the bad guy if you say "no" to these people. That is really a twisted thing about all of this. I really don't like to deal with these people a lot of the time. Thankfully I have had very few people like this, as I go my way to distance myself from these people such at this. They do tend to worm their way back into my life from time to time. However, I really can do mostly without these type of people in my life. With friends like these, who really needs enemies?
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
So true megamatt. When we try to distance ourselves from them and say "no" then we become the bad guy. Then they would twist everything and that you get bad impression from people around you. Well maybe I'll try as much as I could to work on my own. I'm better off without them.
@wallygator22 (84)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
hmmm ive encountered people like them and what the heck they'll never have a piece of me anymore.
Have a good day!
