Would you decide to move out or stay?
By maean_19
@maean_19 (4655)
Philippines
March 4, 2011 2:02am CST
I am living in a 2 Bedroom apartment sharing with my cousin's partner. Though, it is my cousin who is paying the rent share of his partner, so in other words, the share for apartment rent is 50-50. There is no set up with regard to food although it is understood that since we are both adults and have our own separate activities, we have no obligations to each other. She buy goods for herself and same with me. There are times that she shares her food, but I decline to accept it because they are instant or fast foods. When I have so much time, I really cook and include her. The thing is that, there are times she will say she will eat, then after a while left them in the table causing the food to rot.
Other times, she would ask me to buy something, then she will not pay for it and since it is her order, I don't touch it. My other issue about her is that we live in the same whole apartment, yet she only cleans her room and does not care to clean the living area and dining room. She does not care to throw away the garbage even if it is full. I have no choice to be the one cleaning the entire house, except her room of course and throwing the garbage.
Moreover, our current bill is going higher due to her uncontrolled and undisciplined manners. She always leaves the electric in her room running and don't unplug them. There are times that I have to chech her room to switch it off.
She is also being scolded by our landlady because of her attitude. I am sometimes being asked by our landlady about her behavior. Another thing that I have noticed is she has been inviting guys in the house without my cousin's knowledge. And she had been telling stories about me which are not true.
I am planning to move out and find another place.
If you are in my shoes, would you move out?
2 people like this
13 responses
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
4 Mar 11
Hi. maean_19. Yes, I would move out. Your cousin's partner is mean. She is very selfish.
I think that you should definitely consider moving out. You can do so much more better on your own. You can also save more money too. And save a headache as well! You are very responsible and she is not. You are generous and she is taking advantage of your kindness. Don't even hesitate, seek elsewhere for a place of your own. This is one of the main reasons why I don't want to ever stay with someone else. Or let alone let them stay with me. I have done both, both ways. It never works out. I am always the one that is putting out more than I am getting back. You are too. Just talk with your cousin privately on how you feel and tell him that you wish to move out. It will be better for you and for him. And when you let him know that she has been inviting guys into the house without his knowledge, hopefully he will be man enough to give her the hard boot!
I think that you should definitely consider moving out. You can do so much more better on your own. You can also save more money too. And save a headache as well! You are very responsible and she is not. You are generous and she is taking advantage of your kindness. Don't even hesitate, seek elsewhere for a place of your own. This is one of the main reasons why I don't want to ever stay with someone else. Or let alone let them stay with me. I have done both, both ways. It never works out. I am always the one that is putting out more than I am getting back. You are too. Just talk with your cousin privately on how you feel and tell him that you wish to move out. It will be better for you and for him. And when you let him know that she has been inviting guys into the house without his knowledge, hopefully he will be man enough to give her the hard boot!1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
Yes, I am considering that already my friend. I think, I have reached my peak. More so that I am always busy with work too and I should only be thinking of myself and my needs and that I should not be bothered with other stuff like my cousin's partner.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
4 Mar 11
I don't think I can tolerate such kind of irresponsible attitude. I would move out immediately if I have a housemate that can't compromise with me. It is advisable for you to either move out or tell her off. She might not know that her behavior is irritating.
@missybear (11391)
• United States
4 Mar 11
It's hard living with roommates even if they family.
Even if you set ground rules they usually don't last long and things get out of hand.
if you can afford it I would move out and get my own place, it seems like your situation is only gonna get worse.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
8 Mar 11
The good thing if it is your family, you can scold them and tell them what is wrong. The bad thing is that she is not a relative and she is acting that way. My cousin is not living with us because he is working in our hometown. This girl is complacent with the idea that I won't scold her because I won't mind her. The thing is that she is acting as if she is living alone and can do everything she wants.
Who won't be irritated living her dishes in the sink and only washed them when she wants? Who would not hate to see her left over in the fridge and wait till they rot? The problem is she is not alone. I also end up switching off the lights when she left them open even when no one is using them.
Well, yes I am moving out. Because I cannot live with someone who doesn't care for others.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
Hello Maean,
This is regarding you're survival 
and her irresponsibility can be irritating and this is something that you can't afford let her be like that all the time. unfortunately, she won't even if you scold her yourself. you know, my brother and her wife was completely careless with their water and electricity that we end up having four thousand dollars! i hated them for that. but when they decided to move, that's when we were relieved because our expenses had lessen.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
8 Mar 11
The reason why I could not scold her is because I have no relation to her. I don't want to appear as her villain or act as if I am her mom. But I know she is old enough to think her wrong doings. If only my cousin is always in here, perhaps it din't lead this way. By the way, am leaving out, I would prefer that than stay with a brat.
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
I WILL DEFINITELY MOVE OUT and tell my cousin about his partner. That's too annoying. I think she does that for a purpose. I don't know what that purpose is. Maybe for you to move out so she can invite guys without hesitation? What do you think?
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
8 Mar 11
I don't think she is doing it on purpose because if she does, she can't afford to pay the entire rent of the apartment. Besides, it is not her paying for the rent. She is just being complacent that I will not mind her. Well, honestly I would not really care what she wants to do with her life. What concerns me is how she behaves in the house especially with the chores to think that she is a woman and supposed to be clean.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
5 Mar 11
Yes I will automatically move out because i dont need to be bothered by this having this kind of living. Anyway she is not your responsibility and both of you have separate kinds of life why suffering of those things that makes you irritate. Try to go and find your own house and live according to what you need in order to comply with daily task. Let her know the responsibility that she needs to handle. Go and find your own house and live according to what you wish. That is your life and she has her own. Okay? Have a nice home to find..Goodluck!
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Hmmm... I can see that you are in a very hard situation. If you are very close with your cousin then scolding the girl especially if she tells lies about you will strain your relationship with your cousin. Have you ever tried telling your cousin about these things? It's better to make him understand why you are moving out. If I'm in your situation I will move out but before I do so I'll talk to him and tell him my real reason. This is for him to understand that you care for him and you don't want to ruin your good relationship by staying and then eventually having a fight with his girl when you lose your patience.
Most of all, he deserves to know the truth especially if he is not aware that the brat is inviting male companions without his knowledge. That is scary on your part especially if you don't know the guy at all that she is inviting to come.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
8 Mar 11
Yes from what I read it sounds more of a hassle then it is a benefit of you living there. I would be silently looking for another place and once you do get one you can give her ample notice. I would not continue the hassle too much longer if it were me either.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
5 Mar 11
It's time for your to move out of that apartment. Don't let her be forever doing that to you. It's better to have a place of your own. where nobody can stress you.
She will realize your loss once you move out of that apartment.
@fl0rencia (414)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
Hi, I would definitely move out. You have done everything you can do for her. But she is just so irresponsible and immature. If I were you, I'll find a friend who will come with and will definitely move out and have my own place. You can't just let her do that to you. She doesn't care at all and she seems to be not respectful as well. Just leave her in there and get you own place before you get into her troubles.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
8 Mar 11
I am planning to move out my friend. I am considering some apartment for rent and find other housemate. I was advised by some friends to move out because this girl is truly inconsiderate. Actually, our landlady asked me to tell the girl to get out of the place and that I will find someone who would rent the other room. The only problem with my landlady's suggestion is my cousin. I don't want my cousin and I to have a strained relationship due to his partner's. I rather choose to be the one to leave.
