Today is just hard

@Trensue (5249)
United States
March 5, 2011 1:16pm CST
Yesterday was my Dad's birthday and today would have been Mom's birthday. She passed away in 2009. Dad and I struggle with these dates, the rest of the family simply "knows" it is just another day. I don't understand how come I can not feel that way. I rally want it to be just another day and instead it is full of tears. What is wrong with me?
3 people like this
10 responses
• United States
5 Mar 11
Oh trensue, I am very sorry to read this. It is normal and natural to feel this way. You love your Mother and although our heart's mend they do not fully heal. A mother is more then a wound and cannot be completely forgotten so you are missing her. I think it's good to cry because you are releasing the sorrows. You are not done grieving and there is no time period as to when you will be done with it. So it is normal to feel this way. I say do not force yourself to try and forget this day, continue to grieve but at the same time try to remember happy things about her and your tears will begin to be happy laughter. This will keep her memory alive always.
2 people like this
@Trensue (5249)
• United States
5 Mar 11
Deep breath - Okay thanks. I have gone for walk, purchased some pink flowers and am trying to get myself centered. Thank you for great advice and comforting thoughts.
5 Mar 11
There is definitely nothing wrong with you, Trensue. I am so sorry for your loss, you just miss your mother too much. People say that time will heal, but the love, the bond between you and your mother will never change, on the contrary, as time goes by, it will be even stronger.
@Trensue (5249)
• United States
5 Mar 11
I hope I get less teary eyed. My family does not do well with crying.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
5 Mar 11
Hi, Sorry to hear about this news from you. You do feel sad because you really miss and love your mother alot.It is a normal feeling that can happened to anyone. You need to be strong and I believe your mother don't want to see you in sad mood, although she has left this beautiful world,but she always wish you are strong enough to carry on with your life,have a good happy family. Do give her a pray !!
@Trensue (5249)
• United States
5 Mar 11
I am not strong, but my sister and brothers are. Hopefully that will work!
• India
5 Mar 11
there is nothing wrong with it is just your love and attachment to your mother which doesnt let you think the way other people take this day as.and im sure you must be missing your mom like anything.what i can suggest you is just do something which your mother loved to do that can make you feel good.
@Trensue (5249)
• United States
5 Mar 11
I went and bought those silly pink flowers. Honestly - everything my Mom ever bought me was pink.
• United States
5 Mar 11
Enough time has not passed to allow you to feel that way. I wish you would stop crying. I would not be what your mom would want to see doing. Try to go outside andtake a slow stroll. See if things can brighten up for you. Take care..
@Trensue (5249)
• United States
5 Mar 11
I went out and did the snow stomp. Thanks for the great advice.
@JoyfulOne (6243)
• United States
5 Mar 11
First of all, there is nothing 'wrong' with you! I lost both of my parents over the years, and no matter how many years pass, I still remember their birthdays and all. I think it's normal to give thought to those who we loved, and have passed. What I did was make a memory scrapbook of them, and on their special days like that, I look through it and remember the happy times I had with them. I focus on the happy memories, and not how ill they were before they passed. I still shed tears sometimes, and I still miss them, although the raw pain of losing them does diminish some over the years. She was your Mom, and there is nothing wrong to remember her, and think about her, on her birthday. She may have passed on, but she will always live on in memory because of the love she shared with you and your Dad. Sending you a big ole gramma hug and hoping your day passes a little easier:-)
@Trensue (5249)
• United States
5 Mar 11
Thank you. I wish someone in my family felt the same as me, but I guess we all deal with it differently. My eyes are dry right now and I am trying to focus!
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
hello there. i am sorry to hear about this. i know it must have been hard for you. we love our parents very much and to lose one of them is very painful and knowing that it has only been about two years ago, it is not that easy to just forget about them and accept what happened. only time can tell and heal wounds. we never know when that time comes for us to get over it and just think of it as "just another day". but for people we love so much, they will always stay in our hearts and will never be forgotten. and remember, nothing is wrong with you. you are a normal person, who is struggling for the loss of a loved one. just be strong. take care.
@SIMPLYD (76513)
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
There's nothing wrong with you Trensue. It's a normal feeling of someone who lost someone that used to be so close to her. It hasn't been so long since you lost her and i know, you still miss her so much. Try to think of happy moments during this day. Think of it as if your mother is just on a trip in a faraway place. Try to accept the loss and be surrounded with people who can always make you laugh and forget the loss.
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
6 Mar 11
There isn't nothing wrong with you. If you didn't feel sad, then there would be something wrong with you. You love and miss your mom, thats why you have tears. As the years go by, the pain will become less. you will still think about your mom, you will still miss her, that will never go away. The pain of your mom being gone won't be as sharp though. Try to think of happy times, that would honor your mom. Maybe you and your dad could celebrate your moms birthday by going out to eat at her favorite restaurant. Its doesn't have to be a day of tears, but it will never be just another day, you wouldn't want that. Take care, hope it gets better for you.
• United States
6 Mar 11
Hi Trensue You miss your mother sweetie this is normal to be feeling this way and probably will do better with it for years to come but not quite yet. It takes time to let this go of the pain and you are not ready yet. There is nothing wrong with you, you simply wish it was not so. Keep her alive in your heart and continue to love and remember her, she would want you to be happy. This will never be just another day for as long as you live, time will allow you to deal with it better but not quite yet. Do not feel bad if 5 years from now you still feel this way because you love her and will always love her. I wish you well and do hope that time will help you heal.