What if my girlfriend hides our relationship with others

@smelz23 (190)
Philippines
March 6, 2011 8:22am CST
What if my girlfriend hides our relationship with some of her workmate? She told me that they have a new marketing employee with the same age as her. And then this guy approach her to personally introduce himself. But this guy only did it with my girlfriend. The sad part is, until now he is courting my girlfriend that he always visit my girlfriend to her booth. And the really sad part is that my girlfriend did not told this guy that she has already has a boyfriend. What should i feel in this way? what is the probably the reason behind all these things.
2 people like this
19 responses
@adnileb (5035)
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
Aw, that's so bad of her. I think your girlfriend isn't serious with your relationship. In the first place, if she really loves you, she should be proud of you to tell anyone about you. And now she's been courted by other guys without telling that she already has a boyfriend?? That's out of bounds. Even though you're the guy, you can quit your relationship with her. And even though you love her very much, well, I'm telling you smelz, she's not the type of girl worthy of your love. I bet there are so many girls who can be proud of your relationship and won't like to be courted when she has a boyfriend already. I'm a girl, and I will never do that to my boyfriend. Goodluck!
@skysuccess (8881)
• Singapore
7 Mar 11
smelz23, Relationship is more than letting the world know who the other party is and I can personally attest to that. I do not think going into such unnecessary reaction and consideration would do any good to your relationship with your girlfriend. I am sure whatever is going on is simply work related and you just need to believe and most of all, trust her. On the hindsight, I have to remind you that your girlfriend certainly has her right to choose with whom she would like to have and further a relationship. She has her prerogative. Why not? She has not totally accepted you much more considered furthering this relationship with you. With this scenario, I must reinforce the importance of differentiated branding. A woman with many suitors is akin to a product with many brands. If all the brands are similar, why should a buyer purchase your product? I think there is this grossly misconception about dating - you guys overly emphasize on your selling, than to understand the buyer's mindset and to tweak your selling based on needs, simultaneously and constantly differentiate your brand. I think the problem lies in your behaviour towards this chase; you felt, thought and behaved as if you are already in a relationship with her - when obviously you might not be. It's just no wonder why you would feel so drained out or rather so insecure - where wrong approach along with wrong perception to a non-existing position in love. Cutting to the chase - she could just simply be only but a mere friend.
@smelz23 (190)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
My solution to this problem are gathering information from others what is their opinion. And i have decided to talk this matter to my girlfriend later to end my doubts. as you have mentioned earlier regarding the product, my girlfriend is not like any other girls. You can approach her easily and she is friendly to all. She is also beautiful inside and out.
• Singapore
7 Mar 11
smelz23, I suppose you've hit it right on the nail, when you've decided to talk to her and I really hope that you will not undermine the most important aspect of a relationship which is communication. There's really no other way other than improving one's interpersonal communication skill here. It is what separates a successful relationship and an unsuccessful one. I am sure that she's a great girl or you wouldn't have gone on endlessly here. Take care and I wish you both well here.
• United States
6 Mar 11
I think I understand the reason why she doesn't want to be so open about the relationship. If you're just starting out and you're so open about the relationship and people are looking at you and saying you're cute together. But, then what if you two break up and then everybody's going to know that you two broke up and then they're going to start talking about it. I guess she's trying to weight it out, maybe by a certain month she might be willing to be open about the relationship, but just for know she's going to keep it love key. But, I didn't understand why she didn't just say, "I'm currently with somebody or I'm not looking for relationship."
@smelz23 (190)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
I do not know what with her motives if she's not telling that. I have thought also that she did not told that she has a relationship due to her work as a cashier. But i do not know. I will tell her right away when we chat today if she told that guy that she has already have a boyfriend. But what will i do if she says that she never told that guy. And she always telling me that she will never replace me to that one. I do not know if i will beleive her or not.
• United States
7 Mar 11
You should lay it on the line and tell her how you're feeling. It makes no sense for her to keep putting you through this, that means that she's just pulling you in and is not being considerate of your feelings. I hope that she says yes and that everything's going to be okay.
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
7 Mar 11
I think your girlfriend is not serious with your relationship and is waiting for better option to arrive. Thinks you should ask your girl to tell you her intention is she purposely flirting . If she resist then you have made decision to trust her or not.
• United States
7 Mar 11
To make this short in simple. She's a player so if you dont want a player leave her and let her play on.
• Canada
7 Mar 11
You mentioned that this guy is a new employee. Have you considered the fact that, even if he drops by to visit and chat with your girlfriend, they may not be talking about any personal matters at all? They could just be having social conversation in the workplace. I know if I were working somewhere and a new employee came over to chat and get to know me, as a coworker, I wouldn't be telling him all about my personal life right away. I don't discuss personal things until I know someone well enough to do that. There may have been no reason for her to mention whether she has a boyfriend, whether she is married, etc. We can have platonic friendships (no romantic interest at all), especially at work... we work with the same people every day and we simply don't develop romantic relationships with all of them. You can certainly discuss how you are feeling with your girlfriend but, please, give her the benefit of the doubt that she can judge the right way to deal with her coworkers :) She will certainly know when the time comes that it is necessary to tell the guy she has a boyfriend :)
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
7 Mar 11
If your girlfriend feels the need to hide your relationship with her from the people she works closely with, it seems to me that there is a problem you may be unaware of. It seems to me that she might be embarrassed about your relationship in some way. This is not the way to a future with her. Finding out why she is hiding the relationship could be a big first step in a continuing relationship with her! Good luck!
@SimpleBB (1332)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
Ouchhh. With what I have read in your message, it seems that your girlfriend is not prepared yet to tell that she's already in a relationship. Which is unusual, of course, if we decided to accept a guy as bf/gf, it means that we are ready for the commitment we're into. You're right, it's not only sad but hurting us if our someone special could not be that proud having us as their special someone. But in any case, you must have to analyze the situation and try to feel what is the truth with your commitment to your girlfriend. You may want to discuss the issue with her, and nothing wrong with that, she knows your relationship status. In this regard, you can make decision for you to settle anything you feel awkward with your current status. Hoping you could have the courage to do so, and just in case, you should also be prepared for whatever will come out with your discussion. I just hope that she would realize the value of your commitment to each other. Good luck and happy mylotting.
@sexyice (874)
• Latvia
7 Mar 11
So to understand the situation for girls, but not for a boy. I will try to tell what it looks like to me. I've done, just like your girlfriend. One option. The fact that she hides the relationship, meaning that she is trying to protect its. Protect from envious people, from the guy about which writing, she just sees no need boast that she has a boyfriend. You don't need worry about it. Two option. You need worry about it, because maybe she like this guy and sho don't tell because she want this guy, not you... you need talk with she, because only she can tell you truth... Stop worry, just teel your feelings...
7 Mar 11
your girlfriend, my girlfriend,its all girls.bro,the world is jus what's not.imagine,you met this girl a week after she thought she would never maybe love again,does that make her relationship safe with you, an upright gentleman whose ready to help DIDs(damsels in distress)?.jus as unpredictable as accidents jus brush off the crash fragments and live the best part of what you got...........life
@maclanis (1868)
• Belgium
7 Mar 11
If this guy was approaching her in a flirty way, she should have mentioned that she already has a boyfriend. I don't know if you've already done this, but you should definitely talk to her about this. I understand your feelings, I would be sad as well if my boyfriend didn't tell a girl who acts the way that guy does that he has a girlfriend... I'm not sure why she did this, though. That's why you have to confront her, and ask for her reasons for doing this.
@send2noel (140)
• Saudi Arabia
7 Mar 11
she is simply flirting although you are his b.f. well, make it clear with her how you feel about her denying or not letting people know she is already taken. if she continues like that, then don't take her seriously... there is someone out there who deserves your love.
• China
7 Mar 11
have you communicated with your girl friend on this problem?expressing your opinion ,if she love you,she should understand your feeling.to be honest ,if a girl don't want to admit her own boy friend ,maybe she does not really love you.or satify with you.i have a girl friend ,she has been with a boy for 2 years .but she is not willing to bring him to see her own friends.because he is not handsome and other conditions is not good .although i don't understand the reason.but i always believe that if you love someone ,you must appreciate his virtues and defects.so get a clear understand of the reason.
@xien2xien (1383)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
Maybe your girlfriend like the guy. That's why she's ashamed of telling him that she is already taken. you should talk to her about this. If she really loves you she should be proud of you.
@steffi30 (104)
• United States
7 Mar 11
You should talk to her and find out why she hasn't told anyone. She'd wrong for not telling the other guy that she'd at least seeing someone. Good luck with this situation.
• United States
7 Mar 11
I would talk to your girlfriend. Did this new co worker ask her if she had a boyfriend and she said no? Has this person asked her out on a date? I have been in situations where new people have joined the work group and are just being friendly to get to know who they work with or just try to belong too quickly that it borderlines on pushy and can be taken the wrong way. She has a new co worker that came and introduced himself to her and stops by to say hi everyday. It may be someone she doesn't want to tell her personal life to or maybe his conversations do not warrant a "hey back off I am taken." There could be reasons behind everything that do not point in the direction that she is cheating or thinking about cheating. I do not know your girlfriend but if I was going to cheat I sure in the heck wouldn't come home to tell you about it. Best of luck to you. I would just talk to her and let her know how you feel.
@ajamiro (161)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
Well, you shoudl ask her why is she not telling this guy about you as your boyfriend. I think he likes the guy that's why she's keeping it from him. Honeslty, ive tried that too. I have kept my relationship before because there's this guy I like. But I don't want that way anymore. Better yet, approach that guy on stop courting your girlfriend.
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
I don't know with this but do you guys have trust issues? I think that you should talk it out with your girl. Ask what her reasons are for doing such things. I find the situation bad and that you guys need to iron it out. All the best!
@aeiou78 (3457)
• Malaysia
6 Mar 11
This is just a small matter. She is still free to know other person since she is not engaged or married with you yet. Moreover, she just chit-chatted with that guy only and nothing else she did. As a boyfriend of her, you should be more initiative to retreat your competitor. First of all, you should not jealous. You must act as a gentleman to win her feeling. ha! ha! ha! Competition in our life is always there. Put your effort in her if you really like her.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
hello, Just reading and relying on your posts,i can assume that your girlfriend like this guy. Why?...if she doesn't like the guy,she should have shout and say directly on the guy's face that she already has a boyfriend,in that way the guy will stop courting her. Well,better confront your girlfriend as early as possible. Have a great weekend