liar, procrastinator

@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
United States
March 9, 2011 4:25am CST
Do u see a difference. I surely don't. If u do will u explain to me what the difference is??When u tell someone something that is not true that u are going to do i don't think it's anything but a lie. I admit i am pretty hard nosed about this. My oldest son never follows through on anything he tells u that he is going to do & then he says he procrastinates. To me hejust lies. Tell me what u think. please. Thanks to all who responds.
6 people like this
21 responses
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
A liar is someone who tells a lie or someone who does not say the truth. A procrastinator on the other hand is someone who delays things. It is the maniana or manana habit'. A person can be both a liar and a procrastinator at the same. A person might say, "I will do my homework later." He can be both a liar and a procrastinator if he has no plans on doing his homework and he was also delaying what should be done. Your son is a liar because you said he never follows though on anything.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Thanks for respoding. I really think there's not any differene in the two.It's a very bad habit to get into.
@swirlz (3137)
• Philippines
10 Mar 11
There is a big difference. They do go hand in hand but they're not the same. You can be a procrastinator but not a liar. And you can be a liar but not a procratinator. I'm a procrastinator. But I sure as hell am not a liar. If I haven't done something I should, then I'll say, I haven't found the time. That doesn't make me a liar. I just don't have the time. It is a lie though when one accepts a job that he has no intention of doing. It is on the intention of the person that makes it lying or procrastinating. But sometimes, lying goes hand in hand with procrastinating because they don't feel comfortable enough to say that they haven't done something. So they make excuses to reason out why.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
10 Mar 11
Thanks for your input, swirlz. I still don't see alot of difference in the two. When u tell someone u will do something & don't u have told them a lie be it intenional or not.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
9 Mar 11
I see a liar as a person who purposely doesn;t convey the truth. I see a procrastinator as someone who just puts things off. Sometimes the two can be combined to make an even worse situation for themselves. i dont think you have to be both at the same time though.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Thanks for yopur response. I really can't separate the two. If u tell me something i expect u to keep your word. I guess i have just put up w/it toooooo long.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Well....I have run across many people like this...so I learned not to get mad..just to chalk it up to who they are....or the circumstances...like maybe if they say they will do something and can't follow through and are too...well busy or something. I find patience with people like this is the best thing to have..I do see you are pretty hard nosed about it...but if its your son..he should help mom out.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
I am very hard nosed about it but after hearing it out of my son for so many years i am pretty disgusted w/him. He seems to think it's cute when he uses that excuse. I don't like it out of him or anybody else. Thanks for responding.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
9 Mar 11
Liar and procrastinator are the best of friends. The work side by side for the purpose of saving one own skin.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
How right u are, Zandi. Thanks for your response.
@wolveren (1569)
• Cebu, Philippines
9 Mar 11
Hey there antiquelady. Very broad subject there but here goes. A liar doesn't tell the truth. A procrastinator is one that doesn't deliver on a promise or puts it off for another time. See if one promises to do something it means it isn't actually happening yet and is towards the actual delivery. A promise may be broken by so many things that lead to its accomplishment. In our mundane human life there are forces that hinder us from accomplishing things we even set for ourselves. But it is not an excuse. We should all strive to accomplish our promises even if we made it for ourselves. Lying is a whole different thing altogether. One lies about an action he did is in the past, one can also lie in the present tense like not telling one's present age. Nobody can lie for the future as it hasn't happened yet. So a promise is a pact or a pledge or an agreement to accomplish something in the future. A promise is something deemed or considered to be accomplished within realistic means, like I'm going to take the kids to the museum this weekend. If one breaks that promise or puts it off for another day he is called a procrastinator. In a nutshell it is impossible to lie about something that hasn't happened yet. Just my thoughts on this. I hope this helps. Cheers!
@wolveren (1569)
• Cebu, Philippines
9 Mar 11
If I may add, there are also people who are considered as compulsive liars. They lie about anything at will and it turns out to be habitual, one reason why the old lie detector device is no longer considered accurate because habitual and compulsive liars have no distinct reading on the device. Lol. There are also habitual or compulsive procrastinators, postponers or delayers, etc. Like lying, procrastination is a behavioral problem, a procrastinator has issues with priorities or is just too lazy or stressed out to deliver. But here's the ugly part about it, one can be a procrastinator and a liar all rolled in one. After a promise isn't delivered one can then make up something and lie why he has not delivered. One must consider facing these issues within themselves or it will eat them up from the inside in the long run. In the end no one will trust them on their word and they will be branded as losers. Lol. Unless it's petty lies and procrastination there is hope yet but they have to face themselves to fix their issues. That is if they don't put it off for another day. The longer it dwells on people the harder this habit will be broken. Cheers.
1 person likes this
@wolveren (1569)
• Cebu, Philippines
10 Mar 11
The reason why I know so much about liars and procrastinators is that I have been lied to all my life, but is a long and different story. That was why at a later age I started to study psychology on my own to figure out why people do these things. Somewhere along one's life a chain of events made one to be as such. Sometimes they are just victims of circumstances that lead them to be so. It's very hard for us specially if those affected with these behavioral problems is from our family, close relatives or very close friends because whether we like it or not we will be affected by them one way or another. Yet there is still hope, and if they let us help them get out of this problem then it may not be too late. But only if they want it. If this happened to be one of my family or very close friends I would extend my helping hand to try to get them out of the deep hole they dug for themselves. It's really tricky though and there is a very narrow window of opportunity to help because they will have their defense mechanism always on the guard. We can always try to soften the collision impact by understanding and trying to gain their trust, and subtly lead them to the right path. There is no shortcuts here and it is a dangerous path, we may open more can of worms or a pandora's box or chain of events, but there is no other way. Instead of hating them entirely, take their hand and lead them slowly. We will be met with extreme defiance or worse, they may shut us out forever. In every venture there is always risks. But in my experience only true love will suffice and then maybe there is actually hope. Cheers.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I would do anything to help my son overcome this problem but he's been at it so long i don't think he'll ever quit. He is 50 years old & when u do something for such a long time it gets to be a habit. Thanks again got your input. Have a good one.
@pergammano (7755)
• Canada
9 Mar 11
EGADS...I guess I have procrastinated long enough in responding...trying NOT to lie! NO..joking aside, I hear you loud and clear, dear JO! He is really lying to himself, and to you...much, more so by saying that he is procrastinating---when in actuality he is actually: prevaricating! Knowing the source, even tho' it is hard, you just have to accept all he says with a grain of salt. I think some of these type of people, just say things to hear themselves talking, or even try to talk themselves into the lie. This is one exception to the rule; "this apple FALLS far from the tree!" Must be on his Father's side? TAke care..LUV & HUGZ!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Thanks for responding. He is not the only one that does it but he makes it worse by being that way w/his mom. My word has always meant so much to me. I guess people who do that could care less about their word. u ARE RIGHT, HE DID NOT GET THAT FROM HIS MOM. i DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GETS ALOT OF HIS WAYS. Friend of mine laughed & ask me the other day if i thought i got the wrong baby at the hospital,lol. Of course she was teasing but i can not stand the way he ats lately like for 3 years for sure.
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Mar 11
Maybe...we just can't understand, why they are like this? I am finding that there seems to be some outside force, at work with my son, too! I truly am wondering if it is whom he has chosen as a partner....and her ways, her lifestyle is creeping into his, with great influence. I don't know, JO, we know we didn't raise our children this way....WHAT UP???
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Good question,, if u figure it out let me know. My son was like this before he married but a little bird did tell me the other day his wife had alot to do w/the way he's acted for the last 3 years.I have never blamed her but it did give me something new to think about but i still think he needs to change his ways toward his mother.
• Philippines
14 Mar 11
I can see the co-relation between the two but I don't think it's the same thing. Procrastinating means wasting time ultimately but when another situation arises where he has to explain himself, there's a probability that he would lie about being late.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
14 Mar 11
Thanks for responding. I can't see a whole lot of difference in the two. I think they could have done w/out coming up the word procrastanation. It's just a nice way of covering up lies & people not doing what they say they will.
• Philippines
14 Mar 11
Well, procrastination is a reason but it's almost always not good or acceptable.
@celticeagle (119857)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Mar 11
If you know you aren't going to do something and then lie and you will then that is a lie. I really don't see what that has to do with procrastination. Putting it off and lying about it are two very different things. A lie is a lie! Procrastination is a putting off of something. Hard nosed. And maybe it is just an excuse so he doesn't have to lie about it.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Thanks for your response. I feel the way i feel,. U have the right to feel the way u feel. Have a good night.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119857)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Mar 11
I certainly agree.
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
21 Apr 11
Personally I think there is a difference. The problem becomes when too many people that are often the procrastinators usually end up finding excuses for why they can't get something done and it turns into other lies from there. But most of the time a procrastinator is just often lazy and never sees a need to get something done, or the benefits of why something is important as well.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
21 Apr 11
Thanks for your response. I know they drive me nuts being that way whatever u want to call them.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
14 Mar 11
Hi Jo To me it is more a case of he is not reliable and yes I guess it is lying But he is basically not reliable so why bother saying he will do something when he doesn't have the intentions of doing it
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
14 Mar 11
U got that right, he is not reliable & i don't understand why he & others feel like they just have to say something that they know they are not going to do. GRRRRR, DRIVES ME NYTS for people to be this way. Thanks for responding.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Mar 11
hoi antiquelady A liar just lies to further his or her own ends but a procrastinator at least some of us do finally do what we say we will do. I admit some people just use the term to defend' against what they are actually lying about and those are liars' no matter what name they call themselves. But with your son are you sure he is not ever going to follow through as thats pretty harsh to say about one's own kin. I know my son puts off things but he does finally do them. I could never call him a liar though.I do not think that procrastination is defined in the dictionary as lying. or is it. I am a bit too soft hearted I guess.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
14 Mar 11
HI HATLEY, Thanks for responding. I have never been like alot of mothers that think their children do no wrong. Facts are facts & my oldest has lied to me many times. He can say he procrastinates till he's blue in the face but i know he lies. I have alot of faults but being a liar is not one of them.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I think that some people do put things off to the point that it makes them seem like a liar. I think that it starts out as an "oh tomorrow" and then after a little while...it does end up being a lie. They can easily become the same thing Jo.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
10 Mar 11
HI JEN, i AGREE. i THINK ALOT OF IT GETS TO BE A HABIT OUT OF CONTROL. One of my pet peeves, i'll admit. Thanks for responding.
@miketagz (7489)
• Philippines
10 Mar 11
Procrastinators tell lies to themselves such as "I'll feel more like doing this tomorrow" or "I work best under pressure" But in fact they do not get the urge the next day or work best under pressure. In addition, they protect their sense of self by saying "this isn't important". Another big lie procrastinators indulge is that time pressure makes them more creative. Unfortunately they do not turn out to be more creative.; they only feel that way. They squander their resources. -Psychology Today
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
10 Mar 11
Thanks for your response. All i know is people drive me nuts being that way. I really lose faith in them.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
10 Mar 11
The difference between a liar and a procrastinator lies in the intent. If he says he will do something with the best intentions top do so, he is a procrastinator when he does not get it done within the allotted time. If he never had any intentions of do what he said he would do, he is a liar. Only he knows which he is. You know that he cannot be depended up on and are only making yourself sick by worrying about it. After our children are grown, we cease to have any control over them. It is doubtful that your fussing at him will change him one iota.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I don't fuss on him at all. He is grown & i'm sorry he chooses to be this way but he is 50 years old & i'm sure he will keep on keeping on just the way he is. This doesn't mean i have to like it or agree w/it, lol. Thanks for your response.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
10 Mar 11
i am like you I dont know the differnce either to me its a lie when they dont do what they say they will do
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I agree. It sure does get old when it happens all the time. U lose faith in people when they do this or i do anyway. Thanks for your response.
@margeryann (1853)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I have this happen to me all the time. It is hard to trust people when they do this. You expect something to happen and even set a date for it and they say that they will come and don't for example. It makes it to where you want to do things with them but your afraid to set up anything because you might go through all the trouble and they might not show up.I run into that with my son sometimes. I will plan a day where his family can come over to eat. I get more food and he doesn't show up.That can be upsetting.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I think people who do that are very rude. If i fixed for my son & his family & they didn't show up i would be terribly ticked off & they wouldn't be invited back for a meal.Thanks for responding.
@bunnybon7 (37404)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Mar 11
unfortunately a lot of us have grown kids like that. they will tell us over and over they are going to do something like fix something, be willing to go somewhere with us, etc. then not follow through. and my personal favorite is, the word "borrow" to give back at a certain point. Now my youngest has frankly said, i know how you hate the word "borrow" mom so im asking now,can i "have" a certain amount? then i will try to pay you back, but as you know i cant promise. actually this feels better to me as i just tell him if i can spare a couple of dollars.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
HI BON, tHANKS FOR YOUTR RESPONSE. sOUNDS LIKE U HAvE BEEN THERE DONE THAT JUST LIKE I HAVE. It sure gets old, huh? I have always felt responsible for the way my sons act but they didn't get all this bull from me. I have alot of faults but lying is not one of them.
@jujunme (2440)
• United States
9 Mar 11
There is a big difference between a "liar" and a "procrastinator." A liar is someone who doesn't tell the truth and knows full well they're not going to do whatever they were asked to do, but will tell you differently. While a procrastinator is someone who "does" what he or she says they will do, but, put's it off till the last minute.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Thanks for your response. I really don't agree w/what u say but know u don't agree w/me either, lol. That's what disussions are all about. Have a good one.
@vanease (23)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Your son has the same issue my husband has,and I consider my husabnd a compulsive liar.He just tells people what he thinks they want to hear with no intention of following thru.It drives me crazy.I hate being lied too more than anything else.I think its the same thing as lying but if you asked my husabnd he would say its not the same thing.I feel you big time.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Bless your heart, i'm sorry u have to put up w/him acting that way. I don't see how u deal w/it on a daily basis. It would drive me crazy to. It's bad to not be able to believe in someone u love. I don't think they ever stop doing that, it just gets to be a way of living w/them.. Welcome to mylot. Hope u enjoy it as much as i do. Thanks for responding.
@yoyo1198 (3643)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Round Tuit - For the procrastinators.
Well, of course, there's a difference in Mr. Webster's definitive sense. But when you are dealing with depending upon someone's promises to you, I can see how you would think they mean the same. To them, anyway. I'm a procrastinator from when God was a pup, but I don't intentionally lie when I promise to do something. I will fulfill the promise.....eventually. Most of my procrastination is toward myself and stuff I want to do but the body and the will fail me and I end up doing things late or not at all. I don't know as your son is intentionally lying to you; maybe he just putting his promises off for later and then doesn't get a round to it. My granddaddy knew what a procrastinator I was as I was always saying I'd get around to it. So one day he gave me a round tuit.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
9 Mar 11
OH NO, not u to , lol. Glad u warned me.I just have a big problem w/people not keeping their word. My word has always meant alot to me. Guess i expect too much out of people but ido what i say i'm going to if at all possible.If i can't i sure let them know. Thanks for your response.