If Your Spouse Used Your Credit Card

@erikmama (12929)
United States
March 10, 2011 11:10am CST
Suppose that you had a spouse who was not working. THey asked yu for money for some unnecassary things and you said no. You leave for a while, come back, and they have used your credit card to go and make the purchases you had previousally said NO about. How would this make you feel? What would you do? Would you be angry? Would it matter how much it was?
3 people like this
11 responses
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
14 Mar 11
I think that even worse than the money lost by this credit card expense, the broken trust is a worse offense. This could be just a minor thing, but could certainly be the first of other, and bigger things. I would definitely be angry. And would certainly demand that the trust be repaired. Or be earned.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
17 Mar 11
That is definitely where the problems lies for me. There is probably a reason that I have already said no and to use my card shows how little you care about what I already said beforehand. It is hard to regain the trust of someone when it has been loss, but there are always times the trust os worth workn on.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
11 Mar 11
Hi Erikmama, I'd be furious and mainly because it was in my name and I had said NO. I'd be angry at the betrayal. I'm thinking that if I already was in a situation that I had to tell my spouse "NO" that there were other problems going on between us and this would just add to them. In a healthy relationship there would be no need for questioning or denying him beause I would just trust that he was using my card for the good of us. In a healthy relationship, if you had said "no" to the card then he would have questioned you.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
13 Mar 11
I agree. There is nothing worse than betraying someone, and you already knew that they did not want you to spend the money that they wanted to spend.As far as the situation, it was for something that was not needed. It is one income at the moment, trying to provide for everyone. It was a lot bigger than what I am saying, but it was very disrespcetful.
@Porcospino (19661)
• Denmark
10 Mar 11
I would get angry. If he does something like that I would get the feeling that he doesn't respect me or doesn't care about what I said. The amount is not important to me, the important thing is the fact that he just took my card after I had said no. It is probably not an easy situation for him if he doesn't work and has to ask me for money when he wants to buy something. Having to ask for permission instead of spending your money isn't nice, and I understand that, but taking my card after I said no still isn't okay. I would tell him that I was angry and that I didn't like his behaviour.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
11 Mar 11
That is how I feel. That it is a very disrespectful thing to you, like you are telling me you feel that you can do whatever it is you feel like doing and the hell with what I think about it, and as you, it would not matter the amount of money, of course I would be angrieer the more that it is.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
10 Mar 11
Hi. erikmama. I would feel mad and I would also feel like he betrayed me and my trust. I would not make him take back the things that he bought off of my card. I will just hide all of my credit cards. Especially my purse at that. I would be very angry and it would be veery hard for me to trust him anymore after that. The amount would matter, because I told him that he could not buy anything off of my card, but he did. The fact that he even used it period, makes me feel cheated. It will take some time for me to regain his trust, after this.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
11 Mar 11
I think that is betryal and a big trust breaker. You are suppose to be able to trust your spouse and they are always suppose to respect you, ands consider that there could be reasons for not giving the money in the first place. You should never take money, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife, if it is not your own and you have been told no.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
13 Mar 11
Well, since my husband and I have been together, his money has been my money and my money has been his money. We make most of our financial decisions together, but there are times that either he or I will buy something without consulting each other about it. Do either of us get upset about this, no, we don't. However, if it came to a credit card purchase, in our family it is taboo because we gave up the use of credit cards a year and a half ago.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
17 Mar 11
I can understand it being the both of your money. But what if your husband was not all that responsiblew? What if he would spend monmey that you did not have? And should there not be a respect for what you had already said to him
@anna18 (142)
• Philippines
11 Mar 11
i had this experience. my husband used my credit card without my knowledge. i was so mad when i saw the bill. i didn't know what happened until my husband told me that he happen to use my credit card.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
17 Mar 11
For some reason they seem to forget to tell us this minor detail. I think that it is really direspectful thing t to do especillay when you ahave already said no.
@SIMPLYD (86520)
• Philippines
11 Mar 11
My credit card is in my name, so my husband can't use it and vice versa. But given that situation, of course i would be angry at him. It's a breach of my trust. But on second thoughts, my husband will not do that.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
17 Mar 11
Mine is also in my name, but there are plenty of restaurants, gas stsations, stores, etc.that never seem to bother to check the card or even the ID of the person. This is how the card was used. Just use it as credit and in an instant, it is yours! I think it is a braeach of trust A reklationship should be open and honest in order to be successful.
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
10 Mar 11
Yes I'd be a little angry but it would also depend on if the credit card was in just my name only or if it was a joint account. If it was a joint account then they would have just as much a right to use the card since it's in their name too but that doesn't make what they did right. I'm very frugal and while I'm trying to get out of credit card debt myself I now try to focus just on necessities until I can get out from under debt so if my spouse was spending money we couldn't afford that would really get me upset. Once in a while I think it's ok to treat yourself a little but it would depend on what they bought and if it can be paid off the next month or if it would put us significantly more in debt.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
11 Mar 11
LOL~ Guess I should have specified that in the post-if the card was just in your name. And, in my opinion, if it is a joint account but he is not contributing to the household, he should not just go out and spend money. There may be reasons for not wanting the money to be spent, such as bills. I feel that it is a big breach of trust and a form of disrespect to do something like that if someone has already said no about it. When you are trying to do something and someone else comes and undoes it it is very frustrating! It is nice to treat yourself, when you can, of course!
@SIMPLYD (86520)
• Philippines
11 Mar 11
On the first place he can't use my card because it in my name. However, if that will be the case, of course i will be angry. That's a breach of my trust and it's a big no-no. But knowing my husband, he will not do that to me.
@sweet_pea (3325)
• Philippines
11 Mar 11
I don't have a credit card, but my husband does. But we use it both for our family's expenses,mostly groceries. So I also have a say on what things should we charged to our credit card because I also share when we settle it. Anyway, 6 months ago he used it to purchase some things on a MLM company that he joined without even discussing it to me. I was totally freaked out! He was sold on the idea that he would earn from it. Unfortunately, he didn't. Have I known about it, I would have totally be against it. Anyway, our last installment for it is next month. But I still have regrets about the money. It could have been used for more useful things.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
11 Mar 11
Oh yeah, God knows how much she will spend on that credit card. One rule though, never let anyone use your credit card, and even your spouse. They might max out that card, and you have to clean up the mess afterward. Don't get into such trouble. That is madness. I would divorce he if I would.