Is she just a 'Fence-Sitter or Friends Collector?

@zandi458 (27952)
Malaysia
March 12, 2011 9:37am CST
I have this friend's request that has been sitting in my pending list for about a month. I would have approved her request if she has shown some interest in mylot by participating in the discussions but after monitoring her for a month she still has zero credit indicating that she is not an active member here. When I checked her profile she only has a list of friends but no activities to her record. So I thought there is no point of having a friend who only act as a decorative accessory in my list so I rejected her request without second thoughts. In normal cases a person will not request for a second time once rejected but this lady came back again. This makes me wonder, why me? What do you think is her motive of asking to be my friend in mylot when she has no words to say. Friendships don't just happen. They take energy and effort. Helen Gurley Brown pointed, "if you are doing all the talking, you are boring somebody. If you are in my shoes, do you approve such request from a person who is so persistent?
6 people like this
20 responses
• India
13 Mar 11
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji, Well, in myu case I always accede to any request at first instance, but I always decline e-earning and referral discussions. I think I do not loose anything, if someone wants my friendship, iot is easily avaiolable. I habve NIL pending request. I hardly peep into any profile as I think it is waste of my time, because, we are tied up with discussions/comments/responses only. Thanks. May God bless You and have a great time.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 11
Hi may, it is not wrong to accept friendship from people with nil activities but from my past experiences they never support my discussions either so having them around does not serve any purpose.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Jul 11
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji, Well, Zandiji, I come from Gangetic plains in Northern part of India, where our Holy river Ganges joins very clearly with Yamuna river and Goddess 'SARSWATI' river flowing underneath invisible. Hardly any one can feel. That place is at Allahabad (UP-India). Similarly, there is very little difference between both of us. I never consider, what you give weightage, which is one way should be given.I am only here tyo do my part, I ;least bother about other. Others must justify themselves, depending upon their creed and cast. So I wish to enjoy under all circumstances. Thanks. May God bless You and have a great time.
@mysdianait (64381)
• Italy
12 Mar 11
No I don't and I guess it is the same one that is pending on my list for months now. I have no reason at all to accept her so she can sit there. She gives me no bother this way as she cannot waste my time requesting me again
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
12 Mar 11
I can't stand the sight of having a pending friend request. It is an eyesore to me. It is either approve or reject. But I didn't expect her to come back again. Some people just don't understand the word 'NO', unfortunately.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (64381)
• Italy
12 Mar 11
I prefer to leave them pending than have them keep requesting. Congrats on you new round number!
3 people like this
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
13 Mar 11
Hi zandi this is quite wondering, when some one just not bothered to respond to a discussion in mylot, then why is bothering about your friend request, and for you it'll not even add any credit to your account, so just reject her buddy.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
14 Mar 11
You're right. We need friends for their support here and not being active doesn't serve the real purpose being here.
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 Mar 11
Some people appreciate you , from what they know about you.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
Wait till the 'full moon' and they won't like what they know about me.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
13 Mar 11
Hi zandi! I think we might have "the same person" that I also "left hanging" and finally "let go" after a month or so! Not sure if she came back since I haven't checked. I did the same thing as you, watching, checking and no action and only as you said "friend collecting". I have no time or tolerance for those that do that! What's the point? If you are trying to "sell" something, get referals or whatever, I'm not interested either! I haven't even been here much lately myself due to personal issues. I like that saying too by the way. Some people still just don't get and probably never will!
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
Hi Opal, I hope everything is alright with you now. I really have no time for people who are here for personal gain. I do appreciate friendships but if they don't participate here, there is no communication and no interaction so it won't serve the purpose of being a friend.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
12 Mar 11
You sure put a lot more time into this than I do. I will approve most friends and then look at them again in 60 days, if they are not working by that time I delete them. In mylot virtual world all are friends unless they prove they are only here for the money.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
I quite agree with you but I am skeptical of people who show no activities and at the end of the day their purposes is just to rate my discussions negative.
1 person likes this
@beamer88 (4267)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
I guess each one of us has his or her reason why we signed up for myLot. Maybe she likes collecting friends and just reads discussions without participating in them. I for one log in each day and read a lot of the topics posted but I don't always comment on every discussion that I've read. Personally, I don't reject any request. I'd feel bad myself if my request got rejected too. But I do wait also for the person to have at least a few discussions credited to him or her before I accept. Until then, I let it stay on the pending list.
2 people like this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
I also read a lot of discussions here but don't respond to all. I only respond to discussions that I can relate well.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
12 Mar 11
HI ZANDI, i have just denied a girl for the very same reason. I have a feeling we are talking about the same one for some reason. This is twice she has sent me a request & twice i have denied her. She doesn't even have her country listed. No, i do not approve everyone. I use to but some of them can be a pain u know where. Happy weekend to u.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
12 Mar 11
thanks for all these posts im new in this site but i think if people like you or other members are here long ago and know about these requests have "botter" someohow is good to know for all new members to be awere and try to keep things running we all are here to participate. thanks
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
12 Mar 11
I don't understand what u mean by 'botter'.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
She could be the same girl who doesn't state her place of origin. It is weird cos only after a few hours of rejecting her request she come back again. She must be checking on her 'request' every now and then to see the outcome of all her friend's request.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
14 Mar 11
I had one that I kept rejecting for the same was happening after 10 times he requested I just adde and he still sets there no comunication what so ever
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
14 Mar 11
Some people are just very persistent but they are not doing anything to support others.
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
14 Mar 11
I have some in friends list that I dont know if they are still here or not have tehm in here for almost 5 years I think some got booted but then Their profiles are still here. am sure I would reach my payout eevry onth if all would post something lololol
• United States
14 Mar 11
I agree with your stance. I don't understand why they do this. Is it to send you spam? Otherwise what's the point in having "friends" if you don't participate in this forum or respond to posts of said "friends"?
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
14 Mar 11
It confuses me too as there is no point of joining a discussion forum if there is no interest in participating.
@RawBill1 (8541)
• Gold Coast, Australia
14 Mar 11
I would just reject them Zandi. I think that people who join here and accumulate lots of friends without actually participating in discussions are just spammers who want to build their list of people that they can PM.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
14 Mar 11
I just did the same, reject those who doesn't show any interest in mylotting.
@zearah (5289)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
There are five friendship invitation in my box still pending even after three to four months past request.They are agents to collect friends, I guess. If one day, they or some of them will be active and post a few then maybe I can accept their friendship request.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
Yes, unless and until she show some activities here, then I consider approving her.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (37971)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Mar 11
not at all and also i got a request 2 days ago that i waited also to see what was up. i looked at their profile and all they had was banners for joining other sites. no responses or discussions also. so i denied them as i figure they are just here for referrals.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
So you know what her main intention is?
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105498)
• United States
12 Mar 11
I usually just approve everyone. I had one persistent nuisance who requested me, spammed me and I deleted after telling him why. He requested again two weeks later, I accepted him, he spammed again. He kept requesting, I kept denying, and eventually I left him to hang in my pending file for a few months. He has not come back again. I am surprised at your situation, though, as you would think she would have some activity.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
13 Mar 11
I used to approve everyone who request for my friendship but the many friends that I have in my list only a handful support my discussions and the rest remain sleeping partners. I don't wish to pollute my list anymore with dormant people who are only good for nothing. I mean we have to be practical and only allow those genuine mylotters who believe in active interaction so both sides benefit.
1 person likes this
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
For me if it is her job then you can't said no.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
16 Mar 11
it could possibly be the same FR we had zandi. i monitored the activities of that member but there seems to be no movement so i also rejected the request. i don't think there is no reason for us to approve the request if that person is persistent.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 11
Hi neildc, I think it must be the same FR. Though mylot has huge population on record but not many are participating. So people have no choice but go in circle to request for friendship to those who are active here.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Hi. zandi458. I had to do a member the same way on last week. I accepted their friend request and then I took them off of my friends list. I deleted them because they were just going around getting so many friends, but they were not participating at all. Another member posted a discussion on this same person and that is why I deleted them. They asked to be my friend a second time, and I denied their friendship request. I don't like to be spammed for money making opportunities and I don't like anyone just trying to be my friend without participating at myLot. And what makes me mad is when someone would ask to be my friend and then I will accept them. They then will start sending me messages with money making links that they they are a member of. They want me to join up under them. And most of their sites, I am already a member of anyway. I can't stand when they do this!
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 11
Hi cream97, some people are taking advantage of this site to make friends for benefits. I for one do not entertain such request.
@KrauseHome (35507)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Personally I agree... If someone here wants to be your friend in myLot they need to be active here. Are they just trying to gather up friends to see how many they can get? Or gathering up people in hopes of being able to Spam them or what? I am one that before I accept someone I usually make sure that they are going to be active here as well as that is a thing that helps me decide on someone here as well.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 11
Oops...this post has been parked somewhere in the cyberspace and has forgotten all about it until it resurfaced today. I am surprised that there are few responses pending for replies. It must have slipped my attention. Anywhere, being seasoned mylotters, we know who are genuine in their request. Those who have the intention to spam should not be entertained at all.
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
14 Mar 11
Sometimes I get friend requests from people here that don't seem to do anything. I figure maybe they are watching and learning before they get started here. On occasion, I take little vacations from mylot here, having to keep up with things around me that I need to get done around the house or with family. I would keep the request hang in limbo for a while & see what happens a little later down the road.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
16 Apr 11
Well, I am also in no rush to approve friends that doesn't show any activities here. I mean everyone should at least participate so there is an active interaction which this is what the site being a social networking site needs.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Mar 11
Nope, I decline. Most likely she is just wanting to spam you with some referral link...
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 11