Why do we Love? When the pain of separation is so severe...

United States
March 12, 2011 9:07pm CST
Love is one of those things in life that many people try to convince themselves that they don't need. Like that new car they think they'll never be able to afford. Or that mansion that a wealthy family member invited you to for a "get together". Love is a necessity that we all need in life. Our existence must have meaning, and it's hard to feel as if we've done something meaningful when there is no one to share the story with. I have been dumped by the love of my life... And my heart burns for her. I cannot see my future anymore. Only a life with her in it makes any sense.. But I feel more love for her now than ever. And am working everyday to prove to her that a life with me will be a long and meaningful one... Before we were together I was one of those people that convinced themselves that Marriage, Family, and Love were not things that I needed. And now I feel as if I won't be able to live without them. But I only want these things with the one that has rejected my affection, for the attention of another... How many of you have held onto someone maybe a little too long? Why do we do this?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@toniganzon (39905)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
Love is necessary as we were created to be able to love. Love is an emotion that separates us from other living things. I have experienced loving somebody who never reciprocated it and just made fun of my emotions. I loved him blindly for five years. It took another love coming from another man before I realized that I cannot force someone to love me in return. I had to move on and give myself more love and importance so I could be able to love another man again. Time will help you heal and if she belongs to you, fate will find ways for you to be together again.
• United States
13 Mar 11
Thank You so much for your reply and sharing your story. I will hold on until I feel that I can hold on no longer. Walking away for me is not an option so soon after. Thank you again for your kind words and support.
@toniganzon (39905)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
Theres nothing wrong in waiting and hanging on, but don't allow yourself to be trampled. Do not lose your dignity and self-respect. Good luck and I wish you happiness.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4540)
• United States
14 Mar 11
Love is a wonderful thing, and as humans, it is something that completes us and makes us feel whole. When we open our hearts up completely and let love in, we also open our hearts for the possibility of pain. The problem is, if we try to keep a part of our heart blocked and guarded to not allow love in, the other person senses that and knows that we are not really giving all that we can. You said that you once had yourself convinced that you didn't need love and marriage, but now you feel that the one you want to spend your life with has left you, and you cannot see your own future anymore. I have been there, and I know that this is something that will pass when you allow yourself to move forward. I had to ask myself if I loved the guy because I really loved him, or was he a habit that I really didn't want to break. I figured out, in the end, he was more of a habit. Once I learned that, and took me a while to really admit it to myself, I allowed myself to move forward. I learned how to love myself completely and then, and only then, the man I will spend the rest of my life with entered my life, and I now know what it really means to love. I had to learn how to open my heart to him and really let him in. Yes, it has opened me up to potentially being hurt, and there are times when I do feel hurt, but, at the end of the day, when I go to bed at night, I know that I have made the right decision, and I know that he truly loves me just as much as I love him. I have learned, through my own experience, that we tend to hold on to those that we have been in relationships with, and try to regain those relationships when the other person leaves, because it is comfortable to us and what we have had for a time. It is less about actually loving them than it is about not wanting to face change and start over in a new relationship.
@Pinoer (69)
• Bulgaria
13 Mar 11
Sorry to disapoint you but this is just a biological trick! We the human beings just need to reproduct ourselves! And the nature has made the love - just to be sure we will reproduct!
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
13 Mar 11
Love is a feeling and an emotion that fills our hearts and minds. it is something we need to share with others that also brings a bit of joy and happiness to our lives as well. Even though we may lose the love we have at the moment it would bring more misery and unhappiness not to have shared that love. sometimes we hold onto a love that needs to be set free. We are only thinking of our own selfishness and our own desires when we hang onto love that doesnt want to be held anymore. If that love was meant to be it will return to us one day.
13 Mar 11
We love because we are created out of love. Love makes the world go round. Without it, life is meaningless. As one of the movie lines of Moulin Rouge, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be love in return." However, not all love are reciprocated, in that manner we just have to let go and learn a lesson from it. I know it's easier said than done. My heart was broken by someone whom I think is the one for me. It took me two years to really moved on. With the help of my friends and family I was able to let go and of course I prayed to God.
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
i love despite of all the pain because the feeling of being in love is just too beautiful to ignore. i feel like im blessed and a blessing in return whenever im in love, not just with my partner but with my family, my life, even with my friends. you meet different people, even those who reject your affection as what happened to you, but never regret having loved the person because no matter how hard the separation has been for you, you know for a fact that those days of being with her where one of those you wont ever forget. if that one person is not for you, then forget about her. fate, despite odds, has its way of bringing two people meant for each other.
• United Arab Emirates
13 Mar 11
it is definelty a beautiful feeling if thru, and both take it by mutual understanding but if one of them gets pain it is so depressing no matter u do many other thign sin life but u vitualize him ro her in every substance of life, but i woudl definitely answer the topic by saying that love is not something that u plan it is soemthing which is to happen to anybody no matter u think u have mature enough to judge people, no matter u have experience to play with people but when it comes to u , u never know when u have fallen in love with sombody even u dont know about him or her...
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
13 Mar 11
I think that's the thing humanity is learning now, I think we are born to that, maybe in the future we as a race will learn other things but it seems now with so much hate that love is the biggest lesson, cause we don't see many people practicing. Most of people are not generous, don't help each other so by that we see what we need now.
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
We love because, as humans, we need this. I've cried for a girl several times (with green goo coming out of my nose, mind you) because I just acted on something I even didn't think about. All of us needed to be loved. Hey, even animals feels it and they need it. If you have a dog, watch its tail swing everytime you go home from work or wherever. It's a sign that he missed you while you were away.
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
We love because, as humans, we need this. I've cried for a girl several times (with green goo coming out of my nose, mind you) because I just acted on something I even didn't think about. All of us needed to be loved. Hey, even animals feels it and they need it. If you have a dog, watch its tail swing everytime you go home from work or wherever. It's a sign that he missed you while you were away.