Healthy Debates-A Rare Occurance On Mylot
By jujunme
@jujunme (2501)
United States
March 14, 2011 4:03pm CST
They seem to start out that way, but many times discussions turn into a "i'm right" "your wrong" battle of wits and that's really a shame, since in my opinion, healthy debates on any subject can be very educating and rewarding.I do understand that sometimes you can't get two people to agree on any one thing, but, why does it have to turn into a war? where there has to be a winner and a loser? Why bring ego into a discussion at all.?
Sometimes, i can truly understand why many members avoid certain topics, such as religion or politics, since it's very rare to find a healthy debate going on there, with so many opposing opinions and people just arguing to be "right"
So, two questions,do you enjoy having a healthy debate every once in awhile? or, is it worth your while to even bother getting into any kind of debate in fear of what it might turn into.?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
14 Mar 11
Hi junjunme,
As far as debates, IMO there is no such thing here on myLot as healthy debates at all! I don't get myslef into any form of debates offline at all, not if I can help it so as for here, I refuse outright.
I ignore anything that may cause me to have to take deep breaths from. I don't see any reason for me to hyped up with a person off line let alone an avatar here. lol..
So to answer your questions I just ignore and or just not spend any time on any.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Hi Friend: I do understand your point and i agree there are very few healthy debates on here.but,in my opinion, it's really a shame, since i feel if you care deeply about a certain subject, you should be able to give your point of view without worrying about someone starting an argument or as we've all experienced the good old neg rater.
Although i have expressed my opinion clearly on a few discussions, i like you mostly avoid the controversy,since i've noticed too many arguments here on Mylot tht just shouldn't have occured
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
15 Mar 11
It is pretty frustrating at times to view my email alerts and as I am reading the discussion from my email as soon as I see certain trigger words I delete. *sad*
@shattered (1728)
• Philippines
15 Mar 11
Like most people I like an intelligent discourse, and in fact find it stimulating.
However, I have learned to be wary of some mylot users as they tend to take opposing views personally. As such, I do so with a few select mylotters who knows that a opposing views make discussions better. It gives you the drive to make a better argument.
Although, I have learned to just step out of the way of some flaming people who take opposing arguments as an attack on their person and beliefs.
In fact I like arguing the other side even if sometimes I know a statement or argument is correct just for the sake of discourse. Again, I only do so with people I know can take a nudge or opposing views.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
15 Mar 11
In real life i tend to be very straight forward in my opinions and i'm not afraid to express them, politely,but honestly as well. Unfortunately, i find myself not wanting to do that here due to no matter what your opinion may be or, how well you express your point of view, there will always be others who find a way to disagree and be disrespectful.who needs that? I would much rather, as you mentioned enjoy a good discussion with people i know who, even if our opinions differ,we still can have a healthy and learned discussion.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Mar 11
hi jujunme you are right but so many people seem to think that they have to hit you over your head with their opinion and refuse to even allow you to have a different opinion. here in mylot the admins even says we are all to respect each others opinion not flame them or insult or thump us on the head. I like to see different opinions as long as it is respectful and they say this is only my opinion and I think thus and thus because. this is getting respect from me and giving respect to me for having a different opinion,I often say I respect your opinion but I will agree to disagree but its only my own opinion. we really can even learn from each other as we and others may bring up a point nobody had considered before
and that is fun to me.If it escalates into meanness I am out of there. I will not fight with others. 
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Hi Friend:i know exactly what you mean.Why anyone feels the need to force their opinions on someone else is beyond me,it doesn't change a thing and only winds up in a war. There are many subjects i feel deeply about and would enjoy having a healthy and worthwhile discussion about, but,i don't feel i should have to worry about someone ridiculing or making light of my opinion, just because they think they know better or feel the need to argue their point.
I agree we can learn from an opposite point of view, but only if ours is respected as well.
@la_chique (1498)
•
14 Mar 11
I often have debates with friends, especially when my other half is around. He's very good at putting his point forward. I think that if you're going to say anything in a debate, you should be diplomatic, and at least back up what you're saying with some kind of proof. I find it a bit harder to do online though, because I sometimes misundersand what context others have said things in and the debate ends up going the wrong way, with like you say an 'I'm right, you're wrong battle".
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
15 Mar 11
it's so much easier to have a good and healthy debate with real life friends and family members usually because theres a respectful limit to how far the debate goes before anyone becomes angry or upset.Not always, but mostof the time. Unfortunately ,here at Mylot, it seems some people will post all sorts of opinions , backed up by no facts and then resort to ridicule when they're challenged in any way and when i see this, i'm out of there becasue there's no sense in commenting further, knowing that the discussion is going nowhere but bad.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
14 Mar 11
I am one of those who try to avoid controversial topics that could bring about heated discussions. I like someone who has an open mind when starting discussions and be able to accept others opinion. There are some of members here who would sometimes impose their point of view and take the discussions personal. I think that should be avoided. WE should not attack the person making his or her own opinion too.
I would love to engage in a healthy argument, but i hate word war.
@jujunme (2501)
• United States
15 Mar 11
I tend to stay away from heated discussions as well.What bothers me is, i've read some religious discussions where the person starting the post is very polite and is merely stating their point of view and all of a sudden,someone will respond with an insulting remark and it goes on from there, with people going back and forth arguing with each other.
Why people, as you mentioned, can't be openminded and respect anyones beliefs or point of view is really sad, since we're supposedely all adults who should be able to conduct ourselves in a respectful manner and not feel the need to attack.
@cindrani (19)
• India
15 Mar 11
Unlikely. Sorry, I beg to differ because I found a lot of title with serious discussion, a lot of problem whose solution came through this site. Well there is some subjects which has rather some less weight but it is relative. And more, such light subject we need for relaxation of our mind in hurry. So keep on Mylot.
@tarachand (3895)
• India
15 Mar 11
Agree with you completely on this-and I have faced this when I 'dare' to go contrary or even at a tangent to the poster's opinion. And then you have the nationalists, and the strict adherers of a religion, or bigots, or racists, or people with very fixed opinions who will not only blast you, but will also speak derogatorily about your race, your, nation, your religion and even go so low as to either question your parentage or abuse family......
But then this is an open forum, and people like that make it an interesting one. Earlier I used to respond in kind, but over time I have started to laugh at such people, rather than get angry, and then silently thank them for having made by day by making me laugh!
No offense intended!
