Overwieight and a bully because of a " broken" home?

United States
March 14, 2011 8:03pm CST
I read this article that said a study done in Norway found that children of divorced or never married parents are more likely to be overweight or become a bully? Really? Wow! So just because you lose a parent or only have one you are doomed somehow? I don't think so. many bullies have Both parents and many kids that are overweight too. But one thing I do agree with is that being a bully is a call for help or attention or Both. any child with enough inner rage can become a bully. But to blame single parenthood is a little harsh. There are many attentive single parents and some non attentive two parent homes. Like with most things , there is no One reason. Your thoughts.
3 people like this
13 responses
• United States
15 Mar 11
I actually would be very angry to read this also. I am a very proud single mother of two children. One girl and one boy. Both are very respectful and I have no idea what it is like to ever have an issue with either one. They both have been in sports which I have attended each and every game events. I do not even know what it is like to be called into a school because of any lack of homework and or behaviors. So perhaps there are some out there which these types of issues but I suspect there are more out there like me.
2 people like this
@palonghorn (5485)
• United States
15 Mar 11
I agree, there is no One reason. But as with anything, there are those out there that like to 'label' or give A reason for why people/children act or do the things they do. I have seen just as many children act out that have come from a two parent, and I mean their parents not a step-parent in the picture. So what is the reasoning behind that? As for bullying being a call for help, I think a lot of it is for attention, be it good or bad attention. It gets the attention of teachers, family, parents, etc. And even if it is 'bad' attention it is still attention.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Mar 11
• Canada
15 Mar 11
I am a bit overweight, but it's genetic. As for being a bully, I'm the person who will intervene, and prevent the bully from bullying. My parents are divorced. I think the people who did that study should shove it "somewhere." I think you can figure out where. :)
1 person likes this
@_sketch_ (5709)
• United States
15 Mar 11
I don't see why you are taking it personally. From this discussion all that was said is that the study indicated a correlation between the two. I didn't read the article or anything else about the study, but I'm not so sure that the study is actually claiming that the family situation is causing the weight or the bullying.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
15 Mar 11
sketch, Danish doesn't sound as if she is taking this to heart at all. And from what the person who started this discussion says, the study says that there is a correlation between single parents and kids that bully and are overweight. Everyone is just answering based on the information provided.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 11
No I think my friend Danish Is taking it personally as I did. It implied That all kids from this set up are doomed to be either overweight or a bully. I also felt as though it was a subtle way of saying the Only way to " save" the kids is to marry And Then have kids. Well my mom Did that. I lost my dad when I was 12. So I'm doomed right?
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
21 Mar 11
I agree that both are cries for help, or attention. And that the problem lies beneath what is obvious. The thing that I am most surprised about your post is that this had to come from a study in Norway. When most hollywood movies where there is an overweight kid, or a bully shown, it is always from a broken family! Is this just a case of oversimplification? And life imitating art?
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 11
It's both. Many assume that if a child has only one parent they Must be damaged somehow! Well, I didn't want for attention from my mom and others with both parents may never get their parents full attention!
@JenInTN (27564)
• United States
17 Mar 11
I'm not sure I believe it can be blamed on how many parents are in the home either. It certainly should be addressed though. I think it can be a number of things. Needing to feel in control or like they are the boss...maybe it's because they feel inferior in other ways. Maybe it is anger..maybe they don't undertand empathy. These are things that can happen in any home.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27564)
• United States
18 Mar 11
Thanks for the best response! There are alot of things that they blames on single parent homes..some things I buy and others I think it's just because they can't think of any other "reason" to blame it on.
1 person likes this
@psyches (59)
• United States
15 Mar 11
The research doesn't say there is one reason, they identified some contributing factors and the kinds of kids who might need some extra help. Researchers are tryong to help people, not hand out some kind of blame.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 11
No, I think they are trying to do both!
@annapplez (209)
• Australia
15 Mar 11
It depends on the parents and on the environment the child is raised in. Does this mean that children with married parents are more likely to become skinny pushovers? This is ridiculous. There are so many statistics out there and they may be true, but seriously, who wastes their time sitting in an office working this crap out? I would want to think that if my husband and I split, my kids would continue to be the average-sized, gentle, caring children they are.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Mar 11
With a damn good mother , as I assume you are, They will be great. I think whoever did this study assumes that being married is the best way to raise kids and looked for all the data they could to prove it.Well, It Can work out but sometimes two parents can be better if they split.If they are apart they both can focus on the kids more. I think it is the lack of Good attention that is the Main reason for both bullying and overeating. And A child Can be ignore just as much in a two family household as in a single parent one!
@_sketch_ (5709)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Correlation is not causation. Did the article indicate that it was actually causing it? Even genes could play a role in this.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
15 Mar 11
If they are saying that children of single parent households are more apt to be bullies and overweight then they are definitly saying that it is because they are in a single parent household. Being a single parent is not genetic is it?
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Hi Sarah, I just can't buy into this. Like you said, bullies come from 2 parent homes as well and so does weight issues. It is all about the values and convictions with which you raise your kids with. I raised 4 girls alone and worked full time as well. Still I managed to instill in them some morals and values....how to treat people. They are all wonderful and kind people. Overweight? Not even close. They are all tiny and petite. I agree with you...it's unfair to blame single parents.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
15 Mar 11
I agree. I was a single parent and my kids are neither overweight or bullies...they are normal! Yup! I agree one hundred percent. Many kids come from homes where they are left to themselves alot of times while the parents are out partying or whatever....you are right..a cry for help...attention!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Mar 11
wow that is something. You don't know whether the studies are right or not either. good luck and take care.
1 person likes this
@hvedra (1623)
15 Mar 11
I think it could be a simple logistics things. Single parents are often unable to give as much time to a child as they would receive in a two-parent home. Some single parents do try their best but sometimes they really are on their own raising a kid or kids and there just aren't enough hours in the day. Of course, the child still has two parents but sometimes their parenting isn't joined up. If parents are not in agreement about how the child is raised, aren't communicating with each other and so on, then the child can miss out or even become miserable if caught between warring parents. There's no guarantee that a child with two parents (or even living in an extended family) will be raised right, it doesn't matter how many adults are in the household if they either can't or won't take the time to look after the child's interests.
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
15 Mar 11
Hello sarahruthbeth, there is no one reason for such thoughts, and it is weird, is there anything wrong with that survey, adding up weight may be because of genetics or the work you do, and the food you intake, but that doesn't has any relationship with whether the child is single parent or kid of divorced...its really so weird giving such statements.