As parents,how do you say SORRY to your kids

Philippines
March 15, 2011 6:21pm CST
It is hard to explain your side once you punish your kids because now their views are so far from us, but I do hear them as they explain. I am conservative when dealing to them and sad that often times they don't understand my fear as they go out.
12 responses
19 Mar 11
If they're round at your place at least you know where they are...
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
the cellphone gives so much courage for those teeners to stay late at night.It is as if they are just few distance away but actually so very far.Technology pampered so much our kids that they are now the one dictating them what to do due to the desire and excitement it gives. It now overcomes the need to have parent's advice.
19 Mar 11
Also, you could get your kids to invite their friends round for a slumber party or for dinner. That way you get to know who their friends are and who they're hanging out with so you worry less. Try to get to know the parents of the friends too. Maybe invite the parents round for a drink or something to eat and talk to other parents about your concerns if you have any. It really does help to be sociable.
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
that is a very good idea,in a way he will not keep secrets that will harm him.
19 Mar 11
Go out.. this sounds like it may be more about teenage rebellion which is natural. Usually kids will always do exactly the opposite of what you say when they reach about 11 upwards. My suggestion is to teach them how to be safe and respect that they have their own minds. If you are concerned about being out give them a mobile phone (a cheap one) and make sure that they know to check in with you so you don't worry.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
with their wrong doings we can positively approach them in a way they are being explained of their mistakes. Instead of nagging them we should do the other way around wherein we could site an example for them to follow and/or not , and the circumstances that may occur.you are right we must trust them too, and we should do things also that will lessen our fear of letting them go.
@gelayagui98 (1337)
• Australia
19 Mar 11
There were times I misundestood my kids so if I know that I was the one committed mistake I immediately say I am sorry to them because i want them to be honest at all times. I taught them that accepting one fault is not a crime.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
yes, because we believe that teaching our children to accept, and realize the outcome of whatever mistake committed and will be done makes them an admirable and honorable person to be trusted and be well respected.
@donski (132)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
disciplining our kids is a very difficult task for us parents but for them to become a good person we have to punish them sometimes. But afterward, we feel sorry for what we did, we have to explain that what we are doing is for their own good and that we only want the best for them. We need to be very careful also, specially, words that we're going to use, we must be sensitive also to their feelings.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
you are a good father for what you have said,that is right for there are those who hit their kids with bad words, that instead of absorbing what the parents are saying they tend to plant in their mind that someday they will fight back. You can not justify yourself with harsh words for it will only aggravate the situation.WITH THAT YOU ARE PUTTING WALL in between you and the kids.Thanks.
@xien2xien (1383)
• Philippines
16 Mar 11
parents don't usually say sorry to their kids, they always think of that they are always right. my parents whenever they get mad for unknown reason and when they confronted me i said my opinions and views, when they realize that they get mad for no reason they won't still say sorry to me but instead after some hours they will talk to me as if nothing had happen and they are not angry anymore, i guess that's the way they say sorry to me for accusing me for nothing
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
because there are parents who are conservative and do not want to lower their pride for they believe that their children might take advantage or they might lose respect.
@kheydia (883)
• Philippines
16 Mar 11
Well, as my daughter is still young we dont have to punish her yet, but as soon as she will be grown up enough to understand things out, we will explain to her everything and if ever we will punish her, we need to let her understand why she will be punished,. Saying sorry is necessary i think when you have done something wrong or you made a mistake when judging them or when you hurt them or their feelings.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
as for now they already understand the loving care of their parents, keep on talking to them for the assurance of warmth of the need of having you around.Saying sorry to them for little mistakes done even still a baby for sure will be recognized as you hug them tenderly.
• United States
16 Mar 11
As children most will always think that our decisions are unfair no matter how we handle it. You want to know how to say sorry, I say with the up most sincerity possible. Of course explaining your reasoning as to why mommy knows best. Sure they will be upset anyways but with continual communication they will eventually understand and some later in life will never forget how right mommy actually was.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
yes you are right, but usually our long sufferings come to an end only when they become parents too.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
16 Mar 11
Well, if you want to apologize to your kids for your wrong, just tell them in front their face with sincerity. That is no excuse for anything if you are wrong, be brave and don't feel shame on it. You step on to take responsibility of your action.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
facing our responsibility to discipline our kids as one is really a hard struggle of reaching them, for each one of them has traits that you must and need to adjust to straighten them up.
• Philippines
15 Mar 11
I have a 3 year old daughter and she is very sensitive. I called on her and hugged her so tight. That is how i say sorry to her. And after that I tell her why Mom is mad at her. She will jsut nod her head indicating that she understands me.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
very sweet approach, with what you are doing for sure will make her learn to balance the situation that in return she will take care of her act so as not to hurt your feeling.
@sarah245 (20)
• Jamaica
14 Apr 11
Parents have this mentality that they must have the last say and their children should just shut up. It does not work that way.Children are little people with feelings just like adults and if parents remember that, it would save them a lot of hostile feelings between them and their children.Parents should not be afraid to say I am sorry. If you are wrong, you are just wrong.
19 Mar 11
Firstly it depends on why the punishment was administered. Did your punishment teach them what they did was wrong. In which case chalk it down to a learning experience. By all means give them a cuddle. But don't say sorry for the punishment. You probably feel guilty for upsetting the child because they didn't like the punishment. Well NO ONE likes being told off do they. But if you did it for a reason. Explain the reason. By all means give them a cuddle. But if you apologise you are effectively taking back the lesson and reversing the effect of the lesson. Which i imagine was - don't do that again. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Of course I'm not advocating traumatic experiences. But if the child is crying it's because they probably don't understand how to handle their parents behaviour. Explaining something in the simplest terms is usually enough. Children are resillient and as long as you balance your telling off with the appropriate amount of love and nurturing your child will be fine.