How much time do you spend on yourself every day?

@devijay78 (1575)
India
March 19, 2011 3:25am CST
The time I spend on the computer clicking ads and being active on mylot is the only time I have for myself. The rest is used for household chores, cooking, dropping and picking up my daughter from school, taking care of her, helping her with her homework, cleaning the house etc. I hardly have some time for myself and it is only for about an hour or so that I am able to relax in front of the laptop which is also used to bring in the extra money I need. Isn't that the time everybody gets? Does not matter whether it is a man or a woman, but when we have work to do, isn't it difficult to get that me time? This is worse in weekends when my kid is at home and sundays are the most busiest days of my life! Because my husband stays at home and I work from dawn to dusk.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@shutong (42)
• China
19 Mar 11
Oh,miserable. I can't imagine living such kind of life without any time for ourselves. I think try to spare some time to do what we like is what life tends to be .Lucky for me,I haven't graduated from collge to face so many daily routines. Why don't u drop down all the things at hand for a while and take a leisure walk?Or propose a vacation for the family?
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
19 Mar 11
Hi shutong. Welcome to mylot. I actually realised when I started this discussion that even though we do go out or take vacations, it is always a duty to take care of things and after some time, it becomes routine and you no longer enjoy it. What I was thinking was have some me time. You are right, I could drop everything and take a walk but as my daughter is at home, sleeping now, and there is no one to take care of her in case she wakes up, I cannot even think of stepping out. Know what I mean?
• China
21 Mar 11
Yeah,got it. It is really tough to decide. Great love always comes from a great mother. It is honorable to be a self-sacrificing mother.My hat 's offer to u!
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
22 Mar 11
I guess every mother is the same and it does not matter in which part of the world they are. Our mothers were like that too, weren't they? Good day
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
hi there! that's really true especially for moms. with me? well i don't have kids yet that's why i have lots of time to spend for myself. after i finish the household chores and prepared what my husband will need, i can already do what i wanted to do. i can spend even my whole day just watching tv or doing mylot if i wanted...haha but sometimes such routine also bores me and that's why sometimes i prefer that my husband is always at home so that i can be busy with taking care of him and cooking for him. i also wish to have kids sooner.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
19 Mar 11
Hi ckyera. I did have a lot of time before my daughter was born but now, I absolutely have no time and whatever little time I have is spent trying to make a little money from the net. I guess I need some time for myself but since her holidays are nearing too, it will just be a wish till her school re-opens. I think it is like that with every married person till they become a parent. Enjoy your time now. Because once your kids come, you would have no time at all till they grow up. And best wishes for your future(having kids)
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
yeah, that's also what my other friend's told me, enjoy the time while we don't have kids yet...but we've been waiting for how many years already that's why i am now wishing to have a baby sooner. and besides i am not getting any younger! well, lucky are those moms who are able to find some time for themselves and even manage to go out, treat themselves and so on. i have some friends who are like that, they are working moms but still they have time to unwind. their husband or sometimes their parents took care the kids for a while.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
20 Mar 11
Don't worry ckyera. Things will happen in their own sweet time. Just relax and have a good time. I wonder too how these moms find time for themselves. I actually need some time for myself. My parents will help, but they are already looking after my sister's baby as she is working and they are old too. So I do not want to burden them with two kids even if it is only for a little while. Taking care of both small kids would be asking too much of them. And as my husband goes early in the morning and comes home late at night, it is impossible for him to look after my kid. so there goes my me time.
19 Mar 11
Well, what time do you wake up in the morning? I know it's tiring having kids from what people have told me and that people usually HATE to get up in the morning unless they have to but if you make an effort to get up a little earlier start maybe with 5 minutes and work up to ten and so on then you'll have a little more me time. Also copious amounts of coffee hehe. But seriously how about on the weekend you ask your husband to help out with the kids every now and then so that you can go out for a bit get away from it all for a while and have that "me time". Perhaps he can help out a bit more with the odd household chore, have you asked him. If you're working it's only fair that he helps out with the kids and home life. What does he do at home? When you say spend time on yourself do you mean pampering or just being able to put on make up or what. If you could be more specific, for instance, it may be helpful to right down exactly what it is you want to do in that time you spend on yourself that way you can formulate a plan of action. What do you say?
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
19 Mar 11
Hi somegirlonline. I do not work and am a housewife with one kid who is three and a half years old and another on the way. So being pregnant makes me tired all the time not to mention being nauseous and cranky. As I told jaiho, I hardly have time to relax or even try to take care of myself. I do get up a little late nowadays because of my condition. My husband wakes me up everyday. But that is the extent of help I get from him. He goes to work in the morning and comes back late at nights. Even if he comes early, it is my job to cook and clean and take care of my kid. There is no use asking him to help me. I have done that several times and there seems to be no response from his side. He comes home and either works from his laptop or is on calls all the time or max, watches tv to relax. This is worse on sundays. He used to help me in the early days of our married life, but everything has changed now. He sometimes works even on sundays and that irks me a lot. I do not mind working everyday, but I would love to have some time for myself every day just to unwind. But that is not possible now since my daughter goes to school only for two hours and it takes almost one hour for me to travel to and fro to her school. So I just have one hour to fit in. Sorry if my response seemed lengthy, just wanted to rant once in a while. And welcome to mylot.
19 Mar 11
Firstly, thanks for the welcome devijay. Secondly, do you have any friends or family who could maybe help you out once in a while so that you can relax once in a while? It is important, for your own sanity at least just to have some time to be you. I understand that your husband works and he must be tired when he gets home and he provides money. But he should realise that you miss him. Perhaps when he has some holiday time off work you could appeal to his better nature and sit him down and really talk and see if you can discuss with him about how you feel. It seems that you miss him as he even works on Sundays now. Perhaps if you can get a family member or friend to look after the children for a little while each week, then it wouldn't be so bad. Don't worry about the lengthy reply. It helped me to understand a little bit more about your situation so it's the relevancy that matters not the length :) I really hope that your situation improves. All the best.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
20 Mar 11
Thanks for understanding sgo. My husband stayed home today but still, it was work, work and more work for me. He did help me to cut the vegetables today and that is a rarity. I do have my parents living nearby but they are old and moreover, my sister works and leaves her one and a half year old baby with them. So it would be very difficult for them to run behind both kids even if it is only for sometime. They are almost nearing their 70s and they find it difficult to take care of the baby and do their routine stuff. I just want maybe like two or three hours to myself - to go to the parlour and get a facial done or just plain laze around. But that is what I am not getting and the routine work bothers me sometime. Hope I get some free time this week.
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
20 Mar 11
Hi vijay, i spend to about hardly 1 hour to my self, rest all work, friends, parents and all, in holidays net, online chatting then sleep, but when i think to myself then i understand i'm not bothering me ha, but ya your discussion made me think about me , from now i'l value me :-)
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
20 Mar 11
Hi sunny. You do live a busy life, don't you? Even holidays and relaxing is in that list. Everyone needs some time for themselves and some people are able to make it and some are not. I am actually not able to spend some time just for myself. I love reading, but it has been years since I even touched a book. All I read is story books of my daughter at bedtime. Just wish I had at least two or three hours to myself. At least once a month. Good day.
• Medan, Indonesia
20 Mar 11
Well....seems that you don't have time for yourself, but I think the way you did it's time for your to share your time to other. I meant What you did - take care your kid, cleaning the house, cooking etc - It's also the time, but not for yourself. Remember as long as your enjoy yourself about the time, I think it's also your time for yourself. Especially for weekend, this is the time you gather in one great house. Enjoy it, don't look at what you will do from dawn to dusk. And finally, you will get how to manage the time for yourself and other member of family. Keep on smiling.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
20 Mar 11
Well, it does feel nice doing things for others, spending time with the family and being with my daughter. But I would like to have a little time to at least comb my hair properly or go out and have some time to myself instead of always being surrounded by people or work. It is not that I do not count my blessings, but sometimes, it is all too much.
@dodo19 (32873)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
19 Mar 11
I am able to spend sometime on myself. I am lucky that I can spend time and focus on me. I do enjoy spending time on others, but there are just those times when I feel that I need time for myself, and that I can't always spend time on others. I think that we all need to spend some time on ourselves.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
20 Mar 11
Yes, lucky you. I agree with you completely and that is what I am talking about. Even though I do like what I do, sometimes, I would love to just spend some time by myself, on myself or just laze around. But I do find a lot of work to be completed and have to start working with a sigh. Am so busy nowadays that it becomes very difficult to even think of having a break.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
I think i can only spend 3 hrs for myself everyday, I am in the office for 9 hrs and come home after spend time with my husband and my daughter or watching TV..Everyday I find it hard to groom,I just simply take a bath,comb my hair eat breakfast and have coffee,brush my teeth and off to work again..
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
20 Mar 11
Hi. Welcome to mylot. Do you have a small kid or a grown up daughter? It was just the opposite for me even when I was working. I used to come back from work, cook, clean and do all the normal stuff, take care of my daughter and then go to sleep. Then wake up in the morning, do the cooking and drop my daughter at school and then go to office. No help from hubby dear at that time. Now that I stay at home, it is even worse. Working all the time and no rest. Well, life is like that!
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
I spend 24 hours for myself everyday.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
19 Mar 11
What a lucky person! Hope I just have at least some time in a week for myself.
@cx258641 (109)
• China
19 Mar 11
oh i don't have kids yet,in other words, i have more time spend on myself than yours,but before i read your question, i don't even realize that except working and studying i can spend a lot of time on myself (how precious they are),sometime when i not working or have long holiday ,i just feel boring feels like nothing to do and let TV and net buried me , i will not let that happen any more.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
19 Mar 11
I did spend my free time when I was a student pursuing my hobbies. I love reading books, doing handicrafts, embroidering and glass painting etc. But I hardly have time for all that now and it has been ages since I even touched a book. All the reading I do now is the story books of my daughter. I have to read and tell her stories every day and night and that is the extent of my reading. Enjoy your free time as once you get busy with a family, you would not find time for anything else at all. Good luck.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
hello devijay, Right,during weekend when i thought i have more time to spend with myself (mylot etc) but more household chores are waiting as if saying "hey,me first " . Everywhere i looked,in every corners of my house begging to be the first to be touched by my hand (to clean up)hahaha. Not to mention the kids who are also asking to go out or do some strolling...just another night hang out with kids. No more time for "me" happy weekend
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
19 Mar 11
You are absolutely correct jaiho. That is what happens to me too. I was wondering how long it has been since I even looked at myself in the mirror properly. I look a sight and there is absolutely no time for me to take care of myself too. I do have all products at home and all I need is time to apply them. Sigh! Wish I would have the heart to spend a little more time on myself. But the main culprits are ourselves, aren't we? And as tomorrow is sunday, there would be no time for me to even look at my laptop. Happy weekend to you too.
19 Mar 11
Also if your husband was at work all day and you were at home. Your husband would expect you to look after the kids and do the household chores. Does he at least cook you a meal once in a while? A relationship should have some give and take and co-operation. What's the point if you're doing everything?