found my match
By jpaxxx21
@jpaxxx21 (170)
Singapore
March 20, 2011 7:40am CST
okay, here goes my 4 year relationship with my bf.. during my past relationships, my exes are always the ones who move away to another country. it's what i fear the most when the other gets fed up working out the communication. With my recent bf, it's entirely different. I was the one who moved to another country. And now, i found my match. every single day, we text, we chat on weekends & I sometimes call him up. But mostly, it's just texting. We are so used to that kind of communication that sometimes, I wonder if I could just use a template then send. Lol. Everyday, is just like for example: "mawnin, off to work.. had bfast? take care, catch u later.luv u!" Then lunch, text, dinner, text, ready to sleep, text.. Just like that. It's how the longdistance relationship works for me. I'm very comfortable with it. This is how i wanted my exes to be. Then there was one time I went for a holiday to another country with my friends just for a night. I had not brought my sim card. So i actually have no contact wit hmy bf for 24 hours. I wonder what pissed my friend. I was just actually planning to buy a simcard for that day so I can update my bf. She was pissed. She told me, it won't be healthy for such a relationship to be like that. I was taken aback. It seems pretty normal for me to communicate with my bf everyday. I don't know what is so unhealthy about that. And she started telling me we wouldn't grow if we won't give each other space. I mean, I & my bf are ok & we don't need space. Jeez. I was pissed but ok, i didn't buy the simcard. So I was lost in contact with him for 24hrs. But for me & my bf it's pretty just normal for us. It's like in our system to just communicate everyday. I wonder if there's something wrong with that.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
Well, i think your relationship is in a pretty smooth sailing and that continuous and constant communication with the everyday activities along with sweet notes... but on the other hand, i would agree with your friend, as sometimes space creates more "spice" as the time spent apart builds up excitement or missing one another, lol!
@Renhard (3471)
• Jamaica
20 Mar 11
I guess that is true but you should also remember that this is a long term relationship she is talking about here. Giving space creates spice yes but at the same time since it is a long term relationship can cause the partners to believe that they are drifting apart which inturns can cause partners to look for other mates. This problem is so contradicting because at the same time if you dont give space, the relationship might become boring after a while.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
actually drifting part is not the case when i pointed out the "space", well then if they "intend" to look for other mates, then you would realize the "relationship" at hand.. get it? a day or two would do just fine to have time for yourself without being "obligated (i hope the right word)" of being in contact with him or her, more so that's the time where u can reassess or reevaluate what you have.... space that creates emptiness on one's part being incomplete without the other thus creating either more warmth and affection or realizing who you are without her or him.. although the commitment is still intact and the initiative to strive to keep the long distance long term relationship is still there...good day!
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
hello,
It's healthy and it's normal to have contact with someone you love everyday.
So,why your friend's getting pissed of,it's not her business anyway.
Simple text messages gives happiness to our loved ones,most to someone we love specially.
It's easy also having a long distance relationship...and having communication everyday is one way of keeping the love alive.
have a good day
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
Hello Jpaxx21,
It was the same thing with my ex, I am normally a LAZY texter and we are on a long distance. we don't talked that much though, but we did love each other. unfortunately, we didn't really have the chance to have a closure since she went out on another country but she didn't let me know.
,
It was the same thing with my ex, I am normally a LAZY texter and we are on a long distance. we don't talked that much though, but we did love each other. unfortunately, we didn't really have the chance to have a closure since she went out on another country but she didn't let me know.@jpaxxx21 (170)
• Singapore
20 Mar 11
I understand guys are lazy texters. Sometimes, they text in brief messages only. But my current bf is like me.. lol.. So when we text & both are not busy, we make sure the whole character space in messaging is used up to maximize it..And why did she not let you know she is moving to another country? If you don't mind my asking. That must be ouch!
@Renhard (3471)
• Jamaica
20 Mar 11
That relationship is going great but to be real honest your friend is right. You see that is just the way relationship is, you see if you are too close to a person in a relationship after a while the relationship is going to get boring. Then both of you will start to feel terrible. Imagine this, say you talk to ur bf once in a while, you will always look forward when you see a text come in from in because you know its been a while since you both text so there will be alot to say. On the other hand if you and him are texting every minute, you will soon find that those text star to be normal and all the suspense that were once in them will be gone. But then again this is a long distance relationship you are talking about so communication should occur frequently to keep the link. So both theories of a relationship contradict itself.
So it is safe to say that what you choose to do is only wrong or right if you believe that it is wrong or right. And is actually how you interpret yoiur relationship between you and your mate.
@jpaxxx21 (170)
• Singapore
28 Mar 11
thanks renhard :) actually, my ex-boyfriend before would set a time for us to chat, talk on skype, he calling me, then emails. I was scared that one day he might get fed up with the schedule & I would expect too much & just disappoint myself. And i did expect too much because his life is pretty busy & he can't squeeze in time for me. that's why my bf now is more like me. I am the type who relies on communication for a relationship to survive.
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
21 Mar 11
aaa little separation do add spice into the relationship and help build up excitement and such and not made the relatinship boring and stagnant howwver pwrsonally i don prefer too long distant relationship be because will miss her physically since i am more intimate guy a touchy touchy guy .
@kaizel (82)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
HI!
In my opinion, you've done nothing wrong. our relationship is good because having a long distance relationship is a very crucial part for a relationship because both of you are far and without any communication it would be meaningless. In a long distance relationship the important key is communication so there is no point of your friend telling you that both you and your boyfriend need space. I think your friend is just jealous that your relationship is going smoothly even though it is a long distance relationship.
