my husband's birthday

@indahfth (11173)
Indonesia
March 21, 2011 5:45am CST
Today, is my husband's birthday. Incidentally, I got a payment from forex, I then bought a gift for my husband. I give gifts, this morning. But I am disappointed, because apparently, my husband was not happy. Gift that I give, not in open itself, but my son, who told my husband, to open the gift from me. Even a greeting card I write, not read by my husband. After my husband goes to work, I could not hold my tears. In fact, the gift that I give, not in use by my husband.
3 people like this
20 responses
• United States
21 Mar 11
indahfth I am very sorry to hear this. I understand how you are feeling, you poured all your special efforts and you feel unappreciated. I am truly sorry my friend. I understand that maybe he was in a hurry and did not have a chance to use it but still that does not make comfort to you because you applied so much love and happiness in trying to make him happy and you did not get any acknowledgment. I wish I was there because I could extend a warm hug to make you feel better. Just know in your heart that you did right and you did the best you could. Continue praying indahfth for strength, peace, love and happiness. If you cannot get this from your husband at least know that are blessed. Ask God to help you with accepting the things you cannot change. I know it is your culture that although you cannot make changes your surrounding, but please ask for strength and happiness for yourself. Please relax today and say to yourself, I did the best I could and it came from the goodness of my heart. Many kisses and hugs to you indahfth, I shall pray with you.
2 people like this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
Thank you. I am very touched to read your response, even my tears came out. Before that, I hope, our relationship got better after this. I am sure, my husband was not in a hurry. Even a word, not my husband, say to me. I feel, I do not mean longer in front of my husband. I do not know, what else should I do, to improve our relationship. This event, made ??me feel not needed anymore. I can only pray, and wait for God to give a miracle to me.
• United States
22 Mar 11
Your discussion made me tear indahfth and know that I am very sincere when I say that I do understand. My ex-husband was exactly the same and I was so alone. It is different with me because I am not in the same culture and I finally made a change and left him. It took me a very long time to do that because I really wanted my marriage to work. I will continue to pray for you sweetie because I know it is your culture to stay there, my prayers will be so that you begin to feel stronger as a person. I am sorry to say that unless your husband wants to make things better they won't. So my prayers will be for you and your son. So that although your life does not undergo changes that at least our Lord will allow you to be happy with you. Some day indahfth you will be happy, if not during the marriage but with you and life in general. Please know that I can be a good friend and understand that I can listen from time to time. You can send me a PM message anytime you simply want to get something off your mind. I am willing to listen anytime and will always keep you in my prayers. Continue to cry and release the anger because holding it in will not allow you to be strong. Hugs and kisses again and know that I understand your feelings.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
Thank you for your attention. You helped me a lot. Actually, I still survive not because of tradition, or any regulation. Actually, I want to give up, and decided to go. However, there is a debt of gratitude, should I reply. Although my husband did not request.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Mar 11
hi Indahfth indahfth you must talk to your husband and tell him to his face you are hurt as he did not touch or use your gift and do not be afraid. I do not know your customs but being hurt like that means you and your husband are not being in communication with each other. Surely your customs permin husbands and wives to talk things out and learn how to make each other happy. good luck and God bless y ou both.couldbe your husband was just worried about something and could not even see what was before his eyes.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Mar 11
I do not know your customs but stillyou are his wife and as such he should want you ro be happy.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
There's nothing I want from my husband, except for attention and good communication. Our communication was not good, so I never could, express all my feelings.
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
21 Mar 11
Hi indahfth, don't worry and you have to be strong enough and don't cry for these reasons( okay i don't say its just a small thing )but there's more in life which brings you tears than these, so be brave, and just go in a positive way, he might be worried and busy with his office work, or he might not like such kind of surprises may be, he might think its waste of money or something, don't worry, and if he really don't likes then from next time onwards use that money for yourself or for your kids, have a great time.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
I bought the gift, using my own money, not my husband's money. After this incident, I will use my money, for the sake of my own.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
dear indahfth, i wish i could say words to console you. just let it pass. next time you get money, buy something for yourself. surely you will appreciate how useful it will be to you. or you can buy something for the children. i know they will show you appreciation. be happy.. dont dwell on moments that makes u sad. have a nice day. ann
2 people like this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
Yes. You are right. I'm going to let this all pass. At first, I wanted to show that my attention to my husband. And hope that our relationship better. But the only disappointment that I received.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
21 Mar 11
ohhhhhhh friend this is really a sad moment but dont worry arrange special and small surprise party for your husband. Make a joke and tell him for laughing because I used this for my husband but this is depend upon the nature of husband. You purchase gift nice and say sorry to your husband if any mistake is done by you. Because sorry will improve the relationship and destroy the anger.
2 people like this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
No more, I can do.
@satya4186 (280)
• India
21 Mar 11
god bless you to you and your husband both live long and congratulate to both of you but one more thing in which forex co. you have withdrawal payment and how much.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Mar 11
I got payment from Forex4you. I got $ 10
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
Your payment from forex? My dear sister, that is not a Syar'i method of gaining money. I think God The Most Merciful doesn't approve of it. So, my suggestion is you draw all tour money in speculative gambling-like forex system, and then invest it in real business. May God The Most Beneficent help us implement Syariah. Aamiin ya Robbal Alamin.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
Forex is not gambling if we have knowledge of current business is in addition to not forget to pray to the Lord. Once we learn the techniques, we strive to understand it. after we are assured, can try using virtual money, while trading in training. do not be alarmed by the market, relying upon to make decisions. God willing, if fortune stick. If there is no knowledge, then there was forex, such as betting or gambling. Forex is the foreign trade. We like the sale and purchase. Very long to explain.
• Indonesia
21 Mar 11
Well.....Indah, sometimes maybe.....for a gift that a give to get a good response from the person who we love, we must deliver the gift in a proper and timely manner. But i don't know exactly how and what way you deliver the gift to your husband?
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
I give a gift, in the morning, after our prayers. Usually, my husband was watching TV, while drinking coffee. After making coffee, I gave a gift to my husband.
@ddaguno (3110)
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
Im so sorry to hear about that indahfth. Was there anything you fought about before you gave him the gift? I hope the two of you will be able to sort things out.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
I had planned, to give a gift to my husband, since 2 months ago. I tried hard, to get payment from forex. And, I buy a present, something my husband wanted.
@shibham (17025)
• India
21 Mar 11
Hi indahfth.. Don't be disappointed. I understand your feelings. But he may be in hurry so he has no time to check the gift or he is not a good mood for some reasons. Just wait and he will open the gift. I am sure.. till then make a great dinner for him. cook the best he likes. have a nice time. on't worry, everything will be fine. Just wait..
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Mar 11
I really know, my husband was not in a hurry.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
23 Mar 11
You have my sympathy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119872)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Mar 11
Your husband sounds like sort of a jerk. Why would he hurt you like that? He doesn't care about your feelings. Just what is in it for him. I feel badly for you that you have to live in such conditions. You have cried more since you have communicated to us on here that I think any other member has on here. It is very sad.
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
29 Mar 11
I can understand how sad this has made you. Your husband needs a good shake because there is no need for him to behave so badly towards you. Will being mean to you make your relationship better. He is disrespecting you and that is just wrong. Continue to be dutiful but try to do things that please you and make you happy rather than doing things for him. Sometimes you have to take care of yourself because no-one else will.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
29 Mar 11
From now, I will pay more attention to myself.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
22 Mar 11
Thats really sorry to hear. Please dont worry. First check why your hubby dont like gifts, whats the reason talk to him. And if he dont like gifts, dont give him. Show your love in actions say a warm hug. Find out if he has problem when you give gifts. If he dont like it, then dont do that again as you said he is not happy at all. So by this way you can avoid getting depressed and disappointed. Prepare him a nice special food which he likes rather than greeting cards which he may not be interested . Dont lose heart!God bless friend!
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
I really know, gifts that I give, is something my husband wanted. Our relationship, it is not good. I mean, to make our relationship better. Give my husband a gift, is one of my efforts, to improve our relationship. However, it was not like I expected.
@sang25 (61)
• India
22 Mar 11
oh indahfth,its k..at times people forget to show how important others are to them.its evident you love your husband truly.so he will come around and show how much he cares for you.just wait for it patiently.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
My husband's birthday has passed, and until now, a gift that I give, not touched by my husband.
@ifandri82 (144)
• Indonesia
15 Apr 11
I really know how you feel. You've shown good faith to your husband. How did your husband, you do not need to be too worried. Your good intentions, you do not need to be disappointed because your good intentions.
@kheydia (883)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
Ohh, i'm sorry, i feel so sad about that and i feel like hugging you because i don't know what words to say for you to feel comforted inspite of what you did. You know what, you don't deserve to be treated like that by your husband, your husband is such a foolish creature i'm sorry for talking like that about your husband. it is such that i don't like people like that who are so insensitive and very ungrateful. You know what, don't mind him, just treat yourself and your son for this day and do whatever you want to do to release those negative emotions you have. and if He gets angry, tell him your feelings, tell him how sad and disappointed you are for what he did.
@thanks1961 (7046)
• India
22 Mar 11
Hi dear, I know it is really hurting and even I don't understand why he did so. In fact, people still have a thought that a 'gift' should be worth to higher values in money terms. In fact, the gift what we give is the representation of our love and which should not count in terms of money. If he cannot understand, what we can do? However, feel happy that you have given something for him. Sometime he may not be in a good mood and one he become alright, he will feel comfortable. I think these days, all gifts are like this only. If they like it, it is worthy and they will appreciate. But no one think that the gift is not to be considered in terms of money and it is just an expression of our affection and nothing else. I request, at least you will understand the same. Be happy and forget what he did to you. One day he will understand the value. Regards, Thank-s
@voldrox (7204)
• India
22 Mar 11
Dear indahfth, I am sorry to read that. Don't give up on anything, i am sure one day he will understand your love for him. Don't be disappointed, it is hard to handle and i can understand. I am sorry, wish i could help you feel better but this is all i can say. I am sure others here would make you feel much better. You can talk about your feelings here on mylot and i am sure it is going to help you feel much better.
@jak2010 (1550)
• Papua New Guinea
22 Mar 11
Sad to hear this, it is a gift and should be recieved with grateful heart and not with scorn. May be your hubbie has a very good reason for his behaviour and may be he will tell in later. The time may not be right. Just hold it and let him come to you.