Ways to Prevent Your Heart from Falling In Love?

Philippines
March 21, 2011 6:59pm CST
Hi guys, I've met someone from a paid dating site. He's very nice, and I feel his sincerity. We were chatting everyday for almost 5-7 hours a day for almost a month now! Yeah, been counting the time. We just talk, throw jokes and laugh at each other. He's young, though have 1 son already, but still I know for a fact that the "competition" is too high and risky as what we call it. I tried ignoring the possibility of having a relationship with him, so I'm making him feel that I'm not one of those girls running after for his "free chat". He is not the typical guy that you may bump online- no naughty jokes. He is giving me a nice feeling, but I dont want to trust it yet. He created a ym so we can talk more, installed it on his phone so I can always reach him. He's sharing his feeling, moments with his son and pictures of him and his son as well. He said that he stopped using the dating site since it was very hard for him to know who is he talking with it, considering a of girls buzzing him. I know he might have few girls he picked, he told me that but never chat with them the way he chats with me- well who knows anyway. I'm trying hard to avoid him, specially he was talking about a surprise visit this year which I just ignored when he brought it up. We saw each other on cam, exchanging picture..I'm still afraid. I've already set my expectation when he told me that he was looking for friendship, and possibly a lasting relationship. I just took the "friendship" part and ignored the "lasting relationship" since I dont want to hope for anything. It's scary I guess. I didn't go online last night because I want to avoid something which is giving me a nice yet a hard feeling. Just read his offline messages asking why i am busy and making some jokes, havent replied yet and I might not do it. He's been liking most of my pics in a social networking site. Well he doesnt have much girl friends on the list which is a good thing. I felt good seeing those "likes", i know kinda weird, so dont smile yet...=), it just hurt me a little when I checked his page and found out that he also "likes" some of the pics of this girl he added before we've met. Well I'm more beautiful than this girl:P...lol, but still it pinched my heart. I guess I'll have to stop it, though I've already fallen in love with his son, babies are my weakness=(...So any ideas about ways to stop myself completely trapped?...I'll appreciate=)
2 people like this
9 responses
• United States
22 Mar 11
You cant stop the heart from falling in love. It really is impossible and sometimes, if you`ve gone too deep(which isnt always a bad thing) you cant unlove someone. You`re human. It`s perfectly normal to be afraid, but it sounds like he`s given you a few reasons to trust him. I mean when it comes to the internet, it`s smart to be cautious, but it seems you really like this guy. You shouldnt be playing with him like that. It`s all about communication when it comes to online relationships. Gotta be up front about it. You cant play with him like that. Was he waiting for you to come online when you decided not to log on? You keep doing that, you`ll lose him. With this situations, you have to take a chance. Yes, you may get hurt. It happens... but sometimes, it`s totally worth it. Best of luck. So, ending this, there is no way for you to stop your heart from loving him. Or loving in general.
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
oh so sweet, thanks!...i'll have to take a deep breathe and get some cold iced tea so im hoping, this would make my heart not to giggle if i decided to talk to him tonight;)...oh my!...why did i let myself be in this situation:P
• United States
22 Mar 11
Don`t regret. I`m sure you don`t regret meeting this guy. He seems nice.
@toniganzon (72317)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
The only way to stop yourself from falling more is to avoid him. If you still continue communicating with him there's no way you can control your emotion even if you promise that you can only offer friendship. I've been there, done that, so I,now what would happen next. I don't know why you would want to avoid falling for him though.are you scared that he's been faking his sincerity and doesn't feel the same way you do? If you have these doubts then I believe it is best to be honest with him and tell him what you think. If he says that he loves you, then enjoy that feeling with a caution. It means be aware that there's a chance he might not be 100% genuine. Only time will tell whether he's sincere or not.
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
i guess one of my problem is, i easily get jealous and tend not to trust people when i'm hurt. i know kinda childish...grrrrrrr, why it is so hard when it comes to our heart. hmmnn..guess i'll have to face him and just enjoy the moment. yeah i might be hurt, so i'd better be prepared. thanks!
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
I absolutely know how you feel. I also know that despite the fact that you know that you have to avoid falling for him, you also want to jump in and try it. It's tough to teach your heart to stop feeling. Best thing would be to keep yourself busy with stuff that you like best, and as much as possible, avoid thinking of him. You could also try one of the foolproof methods, replace him :)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
hahaha...i wish i could easily do that, well lets see if theres a way for me to ignore it.
• United States
22 Mar 11
It is not easy to not fall in love with someone that seems to make you happy. There has to be something that is attracting you because of the lengthy chat sessions. Continue to tell yourself that although you are interested you want to take it day by day. I would say do that maybe do not make him exclusive. Meaning just don't only chat with him. Try chatting with others and if you find yourself longing to speak to him only then careful thinking and reading between the lines is necessary. Best of luck.
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
thanks...right now, i actually want to talk, yet my mind keeps warning me:(...but yeah i guess not making him "exclusive" might help.
@Jiabsa (511)
• India
22 Mar 11
Maintaining good friendship with others is always good whether they are men or female. But there is a limit for everything. Don't go beyond the boundaries. always give primary importance to our family. Do not allow to break our family relationship for maintaining friendship. If he has friendship with others, let him continue. Always keep in mind that he is only your friend. He is not only your friend but the friend of many others like you. Do not let your mind go beyond the boundaries...........
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
thanks, thats what i actually trying to do...though its quite hard. why it is so hard to read guys?...:p
@kwylima (451)
• United States
22 Mar 11
Ow go slow tho! Well I really hope it can work for you two. But you have to meet her and see if everything waht you two are talking and feeling are real. You know sometimes sometimes just don't work very well. Don't be escared to lie somebody. If you feel good about that go ahead and enjoy it as much you can! Good luck
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
22 Mar 11
Ah, it is so easy to fall in love online, because of the sweet talks and smiles and patients the other show us. Like you, I am wary of an online relationship, afraid it is only a fraud of some "happy dandy luv it too much to love every girls online". I would take it easy and wait until we really meet and spend some days together. If he is as good as he was online, then he may be true in his feeling. There are many jerks online, so I understand your feeling to not falling in love just with chats. However you cannot stop of falling in love. All you can do is not to act on this love until you are sure of his heart.
@mythociate (21438)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
22 Mar 11
No. Sometimes you've got to toughen up your heart, even though doing that risks breaking yours or -his; that's the thrill
• China
22 Mar 11
you should avoid falling in love with him,network feeling is not so true ,after all,you don't meet with each other.how do you know he really love you so much?man;s heart is incomprehensible,you can't trust anybody! i have the same feeling with you,so i advice you just give up.follow your career and goal!