Non-committal men

Philippines
March 23, 2011 12:00am CST
You love him, he loves you. You enjoy each others company, you have good conversations, in most ways you complement each other...the catch, he is a non-committal man. He will be there for you, but he cannot give you the commitment most women long for...you love him, but he is the way that he is...are you going to stay and just enjoy the moment or spare the time that will be wasted?
2 people like this
16 responses
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
24 Mar 11
To me, commitment and love go together. Love is saying that no matter what happens I'll be there with you. When someone says I love you, but I don't want to make it final and permanent, that tells me they do not really love you. They love how you make them feel. But they know, and you know, that feelings can change. So they don't want to be committed, because what if you don't make me feel good anymore? Then I'll be stuck. A person who truly loves, isn't in the relationship only when they feel good... but they love even when it doesn't feel so good. It's like a "fair weather friend", if you understand that American saying. A fair weather friend is someone who is only a friend when things are great, the sun is out, and everything is peachy and bright. But when the rain comes, and the thunder rolls, and lighting is flashing across the sky, they disappear. A non-committal man, is a fair weather lover. He loves when things are good. But if thing go bad, he'll disappear. That's why he doesn't want to be committed. If he's committed, then he can't just leave when someone else comes around, or things turn bad, or whatever.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
27 Mar 11
I really have to add a comment to what you say....commitment is a big word... and yes you are right! there are some people who won't commit! my partner of 20 years never wanted to get marry because according to him marriage is just a piece of paper! but guess what! after 20 years together he decided to leave because I was leaving work[ I Am 7 years older than him] and he said he was not going to keep me! if I retire from work that was my choice! but he would not be there to support me! today I live on my own and have no regrets! He was and still is a fair weather lover! good luck to him!
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
if you're happy with that kind of guy then stay but if you're longing for a guy who can commit himself to you then talk to that guy that you want somebody who can commit himself . .maybe that guy is just afraid of commitment, all he want is just a friend not a lover. . Good luck
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
Hi bokal, There are people who say: Men afraid of commitment, while women are eager to commit. There are also people who say love can be lost, but the basis of a relationship is not love but COMMITMENTS. What is important before deciding who accompanies us during thick and thin is a must to have a strong base or foundation, the main thing is he's a man who could control the passions of carnal included, can think and differentiate between justified and unjustified, it is difficult for I find a man like that. love .. , Over time, and because I rarely met with my boyfriend, and in the new-place, he met another woman. it will automatically fade away ... if he should still committed learning will not occur. because the commitment I think: what has become a decision, it must be accountable for his decision. because I needed to get married commitment and responsibility. mind if he now wants to be free of commitment, my question is, how long? It's just my thinking. Nice day
@jenzai (390)
• Philippines
27 Mar 11
If you make some distance maybe he will realize that you wanted more than what is there. Time is gold, if things would not be in line with what you and him want, then i believe someone out there is more than willing to be committed, just keep the faith.
• United States
25 Mar 11
Is your time wasted? Is being married That important to you? If so , then you are Really with the wrong guy. Me? I have known since I was about 7 that I could pick love or marriage but I can't have both. So many may see me as a non committal woman. That's ok. I rather be with a guy I love Freely than Have to be with a guy II have learned to Loathe. So for me this is a no brainer, I would stay. I se him being committed to the connection if he Chooses to be there for me, Period. No ring or marriage necessary.Thankfully, I told my guy I will Never marry him and he is cool with that.
24 Mar 11
well that depends on what you want. if you want to get married and have kids then he is not the one, but if you dont want the kids and not bothered about getting married but are happy to carry on then go for it.
• Indonesia
24 Mar 11
I think, soon or later, you both will break up. It's only about when and who does.
@junrapmian (2170)
• Philippines
24 Mar 11
There are non-committal men who end up marrying. Maybe they are just afraid of what will be or how they will carry on with the married life. I don't think that men would like to end up alone as they grow old. It's very lonely when you are alone. If I were you, if your boyfriend is one of those non-committal men, I will give him an ultimatum, if he can't commit or he can't marry me, well time to let go!
• United States
23 Mar 11
i was in a situation similar to yours, the only thing is he was the father of my son, we did everything a couple did, we loved eachother, slept together, but we werent together, i loved him but the relationship started to take a toll, i didnt understand what it is he wanted. i didnt know if i was just with him till he found what he was looking for, or if later down the road he would just marry me, he could never give me a straight answer so i did what my heart told me too do and i moved out and started dating again, our son is loved dearly by the both of us and he knows i would never keep his sonn from him, now our son flys between two islands and stays with him and comes back home too see me. i guess things worked out for the better even tho there are times when i get late night calls from him telling me to come back, i just tell him i wont till i get a commitment.
• China
23 Mar 11
I think that whether he is an non-committal man is still an open question.It takes time to know a person.some like to say sweet words and honeyed phrases but they are not sure to keep their word.
@dianilvi (26)
23 Mar 11
i wont go to a relationship like that... its hard to fall for someone who is not into commitment... with the time you spent that is still going to waste then better spend it with someone who will be there for you and will commit their self to you.. that someone who will stand for you... and you will be happy..
@kharlav (1672)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
It depends. There are keys to make a guy who's not into commitment commit. You just have to find it out. I experienced that ones, and now that man is so inlove with me. What i did is make him jealous and play hard to get.
@acey76 (1278)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
Well, I would love a boyfriend that is mine 2 keep, don't want to fool around with time...coz who knows there is a person there who would give everything 2 u,and would love the idea of getting committed:-D
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
23 Mar 11
I would treat him as a friend, lessen the meeting time, and find another Mr. Perfect who would commit himself to me. I cannot share.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
23 Mar 11
Wow...if the woman loves him...it is so hard. I rather to advice the fight for love, stay until the person can handle than walk away cause when we walk away we always wonder, now when we fight until the end we know we won't regret. Fight a little, until you see you are not suffering, that you are still hopeful, when loosing hope move away quickly like loose contact to him and start the getting over process that can last years, only time can make we get over someone and we always do.
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
23 Mar 11
I personally will not go into to a relationship where there is no commitment. I don't believe that no one will ever get in the situation. Sooner or later someone will want something more and if the other one don't want it to then it's a heartbreak. I also think that it is harder for women because we have more to lose. Men may actually see this as a macho thing to do. If the guy truly loves you then he will not agree to this kind of arrangement. If he truly loves you then there is nothing than is stopping him from having a commitment. There are really some guys who don't want to commit but trust me on this because most of my friends are guys, if the guy loves someone then he will. Just assess the situation you are in right now. Do you more more? Some people don;t want to get out of a relationship because they feel that they have invested a lot of time in it. But why would you want to waste more time?