Our kids are polar opposites and it affects family events.

United States
March 23, 2011 6:32pm CST
We have two boys ages five. One of our boys is really adventurous and outgoing, he loves roller coasters and things that go fast (he already wants to go skydiving like I do), he likes trying new things and isn't afraid of anything and is easily encouraged to do more. Our other boy doesn't like any kind of ride even if it's slow (or a fun ride to the car in the grocery basket sends him to tears, unfamiliar animals in cages he won't even look at, and he wouldnt play with toy guns or fight in fighting video games for the longest time), he is afraid of ridiculous things, will not give in if he doesn't like something and stubborn about coming out of that comfort zone. It drives me CRAZY! When we take both boys somewhere, the zoo or funpark, anything at all - our outgoing boy has all the fun and our afraid boy misses out. If we go somewhere with rides we can't all ride as a family, me and my husband have to split up and one of us will go off with the adventurous boy and do stuff while the other has to stay back with the other. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice or similar experience with children who are just so sheltered-like? We are taking our boys to Disney World next year and I really don't want our vacation to be ruined because our one boy refuses to take part in anything.
5 responses
@dreamy1 (3818)
• United States
24 Mar 11
That's a real bummer if her can't even enjoy Disney World. Is there someone else you can take with you like a babysitter or grandparent that can stay with the other boy and do the activities he wants to do? What does the "boring" boy (lol) like to do? I'm adventurous too and like to try different things It would drive me crazy but to each his own. You just have to find activities that he might like to do. Maybe you can switch days and just take adventurous boy by himself to do adventurous things and leave boring boy at home then the next time take boring boy out to do the things he likes maybe something quieter like the library for story time or something along those lines. They can each have their special activities separately.
• United States
24 Mar 11
I mean I know all kids are different and enjoy different things but it really does ruin a fun time sometimes when we are all together out as a family doing something and he doesn't want to do anything he thinks is scary. We do plenty of things he enjoys that isn't scary, but we aren't going to take paints or books with us on Vacation to Disney World or the zoo, or whatever. Lol.
@Joeyfish (239)
• United States
24 Mar 11
Have you tried finding out why he thinks things are so scary? Or maybe telling him that you wont let anything happen to him?
• United States
24 Mar 11
@Joeyfish - Honestly, the adventurous boy is my son and the afraid boy is my husband's son. They are the same age tho. My husband's son spent his first few years of his life at his grandma's house and she kept him under a rock and encouraged him to be afraid of unnecessary things. Let's just say the woman is not someone anyone who makes any sense... We know the cause of him being ridiculously nervous of everything just not how to make it better now that we have the opportunity to influence him. This kind of thing will take time I'm sure, to show him the world isn't as scary as has been told to him. But it doesn't change the fact that it makes group activities or even playtime with the two boys difficult sometimes.
@Joeyfish (239)
• United States
23 Mar 11
I'm not a parent or anything, but as a kid I was the same as your hyper child. And my sister was the opposite. My parents just accepted it, and let each of us have our fun in our own way. If I was your child, I wouldn't want to be forced to do anything I didn't want to do.
• United States
23 Mar 11
When I was a kid I was just adventurous and not afraid of anything either. But if I ever did come across something that I was unsure about, my mother would be helpful in telling me the facts of the situation and try to encourage me that there was nothing to be afraid of or if I would give it a chance I would probably actually enjoy it. Most of the time I just went with whatever she said and on the rare occasions I didn't she would just be somewhat firm and tell me to "just do it anyway". I wasn't offended or hurt, it just pushed me more to try things because I trusted my mom.
@Joeyfish (239)
• United States
23 Mar 11
I guess as a parent the best thing you could do is just let your child know that you care about them, and are there for them. Offer your advice, and let them make their own decisions (to a point). Different people find happiness in different ways. So as one child might find it in action, and adventure. The other would find it in peace, and being safe. I always had to learn things the hard way. Even after my parents told me the stove was hot, or not to stick forks in the wall outlet, I always just had to find out for myself. My sister on the other hand always took their advice and hardly ever took risks. We are both happy children who have different wants and needs.
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
24 Mar 11
Looks like my sons who are two years apart. The younger one was the cautious one and the older wild beyond wild. I agree this can be a handful and even frustrating. But nothing to worry about, they will grow out of it. If my sons are an indication, they will be very close to each other.
• United States
24 Mar 11
Oh, I sure do hope so! When you guys say things like that, it give me some relief. Lol. Not that I don't love them both for being their own little person. Of course I like them being who they are, I just want them both to get the most out out life. =)
• Australia
24 Mar 11
I can understand how hectic and tough it would be for you to handle your sweet but exactly opposite kids. I had these cousins who totally were different from each other. Their mom used to tell me to babysit for some days. It was very difficult to control the girl. She was just 4 years old and she would run out in the rain, climb up the sofa, run around the house. I had a very tough time then. But i think she is 10 now and she has developed so much of composure that i can't believe its that naughty child. I think you should let your boys grow up a bit and they'll learn things themselves. Good Luck!
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
24 Mar 11
That sounds like me when i was young. I was not that outgoing, i was more like the introvert. I love to stay indoors and books and just staying at home. I those fast rides, roller coasters and all...maybe in your case find your what your other kids will like, the introvert one...or the afraid kid...maybe he is not just into those stuff and maybe he has other things in mind. Maybe he is into computers? or books? every kid is different, so with my kids, they are also different.