You can't really control everything

@laydee (12813)
Philippines
March 26, 2011 3:03am CST
It's really a humbling experience when you realize or find out that you cannot really control everything when it comes to love. I just feel that we risk too much when we give our hearts to someone - risking that they might not reciprocate the same love. But amidst the pain and a lot of problems, I often wonder - why do we go through it over and over again? Is it really that we're just too hardheaded to learn from hurts? or is it because the feeling of being loved is addicting? I cannot control everything, and there are times when I can't do anything at all. But I am hoping that someday, I could see the reasons for things that are happening in my life right now.
2 people like this
9 responses
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
28 Mar 11
Well, your first mistake would be, going into a relationship thinking that you could control "everything" You're talking about human behaviour, which is the ultimate, most complex thing another human could ever understand.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
True enough, and I think it comes with believing or being overly idealistic at first. But somehow over the years, one does realize that "control" should not be a priority, instead it should be "compromise".
@KrauseHome (35514)
• United States
28 Mar 11
Well often times I think it is are you ready as a couple to do everything it takes to make the situation last, and is it just for a moment or a lifetime? I know before I got married over 12 yrs. ago there were many times I dated someone hoping for more than ever became of it. I was even Engaged to some of them as well. But personally these were not Men I really would have wanted to be with the rest of my life, and preparing me for the real thing as well. What you might need to do is sit there and make a list of things you are wanting and expecting in a relationship and remember not to jump in to fast without seeing if this person could really fill your every need. When that special someone comes in your life you will know and it will be all worthwhile when you learn to wait.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Indeed it boils to one thing - learning to wait! Hehehe.. I don't think I'm a very patient person, but I guess I'm underestimating myself since I have waited for about 5years now. I just hope that things would be in its place soon. :)
@agrim94 (3811)
• India
26 Mar 11
Hi, Love is in itself a very strong emotion and the biggest mistake we all do in love is to change other one a lot to suit to our likings and demands without thinking same other person might want from you. If you try to control your love or lover, it is going ot end in disaster. Yes love brings hurt but when you are in love, no one thinks or care about hurt. So it is complete package, if you are in love, you get hurt for free.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Nicely said. Thank you for reminding me that we are not here to change the person, we fell in love with the person and we should love the person the whole package. Though, I know it's really difficult at times and there are really moments when we get hurt, but if love is true then we can get through these pains together. Indeed if you are in love, you get hurt for free - ouch!
• Philippines
26 Mar 11
love is always full of surprises. as the saying goes.. when love conquers all and when it's the heart that is in control, you cannot do anything more to contradict it. i think it's human nature to fall in love all over again even after we suffer from a broken heart or a failed relationship. we all want to love and feel loved because after all, being in love is such a wonderful feeling. dont worry, im sure you will also find the one for you, the one who's going to be worth the wait for. :)
1 person likes this
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Nicely said. Indeed we can't really control our hearts once it has chosen a target! hehehe..
@Janexiao (173)
• China
26 Mar 11
My friend, calm down and don't be worried too much. I think there must be some misunderstandings between you two, actually between all lovers, because we grow up in a different environment, and receive different education. Of course, our minds are different too, don't be so sad, talk to him and tell him what are you feeling for him
1 person likes this
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
I'm happy to say that we have talked and have patched things up. There are just outside stress that try to break us up but we have decided to be solid and just trust each other. I guess you're right, we did come from different environments and there are things that we cannot really control - like job stress, etc. Indeed my friend is right when he said that it takes a lot of prayers and understanding to make a relationship work. But I'm just glad right now that he did not quit, and talks of separation was never seen as a solution. I'm sure that we're far from the end of such problems and situations, but I'm just hopeful today that things would be looking up. God bless us all.
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
26 Mar 11
I don't think that being in another relationship after a heartbreak is being hard headed. It' human nature to want to love and be loved back. Don't worry, someday your prince will come. At the moment just stop, feel the breeze and live life at it's fullest. Don't be in a hurry to jump in another relationship. If you do, try to use your head more rather than your heart. Don't think about finding 'the one' because the more you think about finding love the more you feel lonely. Just wait .
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
It's necessary indeed to just stop and smell the flowers instead of a head-on collision to stress. But I guess that is how relationships are, you cannot expect to have a smooth ride every time. There will be bumps, what's important is the ability of the people involved to compromise and keep negativity from breaking them apart.
• United States
26 Mar 11
I have no real answer for this one. i know I have been hurt left and right and still found myself looking to e loved. I am doing better now an it feels really good too.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
26 Mar 11
We all have our moments when we like to think we are in control of everything. It gives us power and and strength and motivation, Unfortunately, we can not control everything in our lives. Some things are out of our reach when it comes to control. We are discouraged when we lose the power to control but it keeps our emotions in check.
• Philippines
26 Mar 11
Hello laydee, Yes your right that we cannot control our feeling for someone that we love but other says that we can control what we feel.But for me i cannot .Even i know there is possibility that i will get hurt again but yes if we love that person just always think that you get hurt. Don't worry my friend someday your prince will come to you at the right time..just wait...