Why does the truth hurt?

By Toni
@toniganzon (48524)
Philippines
March 31, 2011 12:20am CST
We hate it when people lie to us. We don't want to hear lies and we always yearn for the truth. But when people tell us the truth it hurts. Why does it hurt that way to know the truth? For several days i've been wanting some explanation and i want to hear only the truth. Then yesterday i saw the sign and was very happy because finally i might be hearing the truth straight from the horse's mouth. And so i did and after hearing it, i can feel the pain. Reality dawned on me and the truth was just right there, right in front of my face and slapping me hard it really hurt a lot.
3 people like this
30 responses
@xien2xien (1383)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
Truth only became hurtful when you're expecting something or wanting something BUT in some case the opposite situation happen. But let me tell you that not all truth really hurts for example someone loves you and you love them back, what if he tells you he loves you, it's the truth right, but since you love him too it doesn't hurt. But if someone you love and you thought that he loves you too then he turns around and tell you i don't love you, that truth becames hurtful cause you're not expecting it
1 person likes this
@nishant5n (1067)
• India
31 Mar 11
Yes, so we can say that truth itself does not hurt anyone. It is our perception of truth, it is our perspective, which makes truth painful or good for us. Very well said.
@xien2xien (1383)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
thank you very much sir for appreciating comment.
@nishant5n (1067)
• India
31 Mar 11
Anytime dear. Actually your response is very rationale and I like it. It gave me a new vision about truth and I think it is true.
@thesids (22362)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Mar 11
Hi toni Truth never hurts. It is our expectations of something or the desire of something that gives us pain when they dont happen. That is the reason many people cannot tolerate the truth. They seem to run away from facts and in this process of running away get hurt. It would be better if we could maintain a truthful and honest approach all the time.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
Hello Sid, It does hurt especially when reality bites. Some women whose husband are cheating on them try to deny the truth and just pretend they don't know because the truth hurt. I"m not saying this out of experience, but my neighbor has been blind or playing blind for several years about her husband's extra-marital affairs. I thought to myself that she's denying the truth because she doesn't want to get hurt. What do you think about this?
@thesids (22362)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Mar 11
True. It is a truth that their husbands have cheated them. But I would say - if the wife's did not expect their husbands to be loya to them there would be no pain. So the pain is in fact with the expectation and belief that the husband or wife should remain loyal. If s/he does not, it is bad luck and painful. Now, for the denial - we all stay inside a society that has laid down some norms and rules, when these are broken, maybe due to social stigma or anything, people start to deny or pretend to. In case of this friend/neighbor, her not accepting the reality cannot negate the fact that the husband was not cheating. Her denying can be due to two reasons - she is really ignorant, or she is as you say, avoiding the facts in the wake of what will happen if the facts are brought into open... She might have a family and kids whose lives may get shattered. So here, the case is about non-revealing or non accepting - truth - it stays - the husband was a cheater - and if you were an unknon person to this family, you would not have bothered much and said oh, it happens. The truth would not have hurt you. As you are emotionally attached here with that lady, you have a soft corner. Hope it clarifies my view in this context
@nishant5n (1067)
• India
31 Mar 11
Truth hurts, but lie is worse. We want to know the truth because it is stable. Lie has no identity. Lie cannot stand on its own. One has to say more lies in order to sustain the first lie. Truth can stand on its own. Yes, truth can sometime hurt because it is truth, but it always brings a clear vision and removes all the doubts. If I am trying to achieve something which is out of my capabilities and I am ignoring the truth about my capabilities then I will never achieve my goal. One truth is enough to realize my status and abilities. That will be hard to tolerate and painful, but it will save me from further embarrassment and despair. So, truth can be harmful, but it is always better than a lie.
@thesids (22362)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Mar 11
Hi nishant Truth cannot be harmful... We and our notions, beliefs and expectations make the truth seem harmful... Your opinion?
1 person likes this
@nishant5n (1067)
• India
31 Mar 11
Hello Sid, How are you doing? I am in agreement. It is our expectations from the truth that makes it good or bad for us that is why a profound hermit is always happy irrespective of the truth. You always come up with great and rationale idea. Thanks buddy, keep it up.
@MsTickle (24991)
• Australia
3 Apr 11
There is a saying the truth will set you free and it is truly correct. Yes there can be pain at first but then the healing process begins and we realise we have been taught a lesson in life...TAKE HEED! Be positive and move forward with your life ...because you can as there is nothing holding you back. Let the knowledge be your strength.
1 person likes this
@macayadann (1235)
• Philippines
2 Apr 11
Because the truth serves as mirror that reflects the total awareness of your action and personality characterization.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Apr 11
halu toniganzon facing the truth with an open mind and heart,just like a person who can stand strong whatever the pain is. thanks GOD BLESS
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Apr 11
Unfortunately the truth has little concern for how one deals with it and it hurts, sometimes really bad, when one has been living with an easier to deal with fantasy. Enjoy!
1 person likes this
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
1 Apr 11
The truth does hurt, because it is often times not very nice. The saddest thing is that reality is a very harsh place to live. That is why most people concoct the most blatant lies. They do not want to live with what is really going on. Therefore, they are not going to want to really face facts and they prefer to lie to both themselves and others. Yet this is really a great disservice to yourself. The fact is that you have to be honest to yourself. Otherwise, you will find yourself living a half life and not the best that you can. There might be times where I feel hurt by the truth but you know what, at least I know now and I know what I need to try and do. Reality is not fun but it is where you have to live to get the most out of life.
1 person likes this
@Judewang (93)
• Malaysia
1 Apr 11
In short, because it hurts our ego. The problem with us is that we think we are good but often times, when we look deep within ourselves, we're not - we're selfish - such that we want things to be the way we want it. So, if someone tells you the truth about yourself - as they see you (all of us have our blind spots that some can see thru (in the measure of intimacy that person has with you) and often times, those things are not the ones we like to hear or accept. We are often shocked or surprised at these things because they are hitherto unknown to ourselves. That's why it hurts. But there is a positive side to hurt, I guess - because if what is told of us IS the truth, then we begin to discover ourselves better and hence, a starting point to have a humbler opinion of ourselves. I'm sorry... but this is the truth of what I am telling you and I hope it didn't hurt... and if it is, I hope, just a little? But I too have been going through this off and on and it is always a hurdle to leap over. So, leap over your hurt and you'll find that you're free than before. Believe me.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
1 Apr 11
Yes friend truth is always hurt the people but this is good thing. Don't tell lie at least with your family members like husbands/wife mothers/fathers. I think truth is best than lie because if after some time from other persons our family members known we were telling them to lie then no recover the relationsship. So for maintaining good relationship always say true.
1 person likes this
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
That is the reality, my friend. It happen to me before when my partner hide something and I ask her if she have something to secret on me. She always telling me a lie...till I found out the truth and ask her again. Then she did not lie because I know the truth. She said yes...it hurts me so much. But I need to accept the fact that events is there we don't make it back... It hurt me but need to accept it. Because after all it will heal the doubt that makes me bother all the time...when I know the facts is real. I am now free from anything else and I know she will be going to lie on me again...and wish her to be a good person someday
1 person likes this
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
1 Apr 11
Hi dear, Truth has its own beauty, that is what I want to tell you. We can see only few people are stick on to have a such a nature and be truthful is a good quality as well. Sometime people don’t even how bad it will hurt others if they realize the real fact and till people say lies just like that even if they don’ get any gain in it. It is a practice that to write ‘Yours truly’, and it is not necessary that it must be true!! However, saying truth and be truthful to others and things make a difference and it should experience and those who respect it has a special dignity. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@junrapmian (2170)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
Yeah, Truth really hurts, but we must be able to accept it because it's the way it should be. We can't live with the lies as if we are just deceiving ourselves and we keep on covering the truth. It must be accepted however it hurts, just think that it will heal sooner or later.
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
31 Mar 11
The truth hurts, but worth it said! A connection that honesty plays an important role is a lasting one, overwhelming unshaded secret for fear that someone will chat with nonchalance which one of you strives for a long time to keep to himself. But sometimes situations arise where, although you respect your partner, you are correct to him and do not hide anything, you'd better think of a story going around something. As can be seriously anyway? Lying or omitting the truth, how do you tell, can destroy or save a relationship. Sometimes we use to protect our partner, often to protect us and our relationship where we are. There are cases where communication is difficult based on honesty and has more serious consequences than a lie. This short term but in time, if the lies are commonplace, the relationship has no meaning and no value. Why is it worth to be honest Often lies or your partner are, paradoxically, evidence that you care about one another. Trying not to hurt them that you care by telling her something that upset him was an obvious omission leads to the truth or "serving" a vision improved or that has nothing in common with reality. This method has the intended effect if it becomes a habit and if it is about a very serious issue that will affect both. The alternative would be an honest discussion about the subject. The risk of upsetting the other it is great but once discussed the issue and properly understood by both parties, there will be a sore point and no "inspiration" to find a new lie. If on the contrary, the subject does not inconvenience other one but it is embarrassing for you, all sincere conversation is the solution. First with yourself and then with a partner. If you manage to understand the reasons true, deep, do not want to tell the truth you have a vulnerable point less. It may be you the target of such lies, and, although well intentioned, to hurt you sooner or later. To avoid such a situation can become an unpleasant and time can destroy the relationship, try to reach an understanding with your partner - your views and respect the past, you assume responsibility for their actions and words and will be more easy to say and hear the truth. If you are not convinced that the preferred option is the truth, think about the consequences of failure. Beyond the anger, nerves, etc.. easiest thing to lose and the hardest to win is confidence. When the truth comes out, and this happens sooner or later, not necessarily those feelings are changing but the availability of more confidence to the mind of others. It takes time to demonstrate good intentions again.
1 person likes this
31 Mar 11
The truth hurt because it is a fact. It is REAL. People like to live in lies and illusion. This way, everything will go according to their wish. They won't feel any pain. They will get to feel happy all the time. It is as if they are building more and more wall around themselves each time they live in that illusion, giving them the sense of security. When people feel secured, they are more likely to lean toward positive emotion such as happiness. A good example is love. People love hearing the world "I love you". When it is a one-sided love, the person will build more and more wall that keep shoting "I love you" at them. However, when the truth denies that world of their, it became like a weapon, piercing and destroying all those wall. There is nothing stopping it. As the wall crumbles, the person feel less and less secure. They start feeling as if their world is collapsing. What happenes to all the "I love you" awhile ago? When all of it collapse, the person, now defenseless, is attacked by that weapon called "Truth".
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2118)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
Oh just what truth is that my dear friend? I am really wondering what's that and who's that horse. I have some thoughts in mind, but then again only you can confirm it. Truth could hurt but nothing beats the cruelty of lie. As our school always quote "VERITAS LEVIRABIT VOS" truth shall set you free. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 11
It is my opinion that the truth usually hurts when we are not accepting and or in denial. Somehow hoping that thing would be different. If we take a really hard look maybe we can overcome the pain and evaluate what approach and or how we can make things different with regards to the situation.
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@r0ck_r0ck (1953)
• India
31 Mar 11
Truth reveals the fact and facts can be painful sometimes. so truth hurts sometimes
1 person likes this
@gelayagui98 (1337)
• Australia
31 Mar 11
Sometimes we are finding what the truth is, but at the end it is our pain through that pain it helped us to moves on.
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@raineyes (561)
• United States
31 Mar 11
Because the truth is always ugly. We always have false expectations of what the truth is and believe that things are perfect deep down even if we don't admit it. Yes, the truth hurts sometimes, but my take on it is that it's better than lies. Because lie after lie after lie hurts more when you find out the truth. I'd rather take the temporary sting of the truth.
1 person likes this