were you talking about me?

@SIMPLYD (81306)
Philippines
March 31, 2011 4:47am CST
Did it ever happen to you, that your office mates were talking and suddenly stopped when you arrived? Well, it happened to me. I know that the topic was me, so they stopped. I simply said sarcastically , “ So, what is it about me? “ They denied that it was me but they altogether stopped talking!
4 people like this
18 responses
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
1 Apr 11
Hi Simplyd, They really could be telling you the truth. I have been in a conversation with a group of people when someone suddenly enters and we all stop...not because we were talking about that person but because we all turned to see who entered and to greet that person. If the person was to think we were talking about them and it's happened then we just get all sidetracked from what we were talking about. If the person entered and said nothing, we'd have greeted her and continued the conversation. You could be right but I wouldm't just assume so.
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
1 Apr 11
I have seen this happen before as well. Or sometimes the person talking really is finished talking as soon as the person enters the room.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
From their looks, i could tell that they were talking about me. They didn't tell me about it though that day. But after that, someone from them told me . I have to confront them and tell it to my boss. My boss met all of us and warned us of gossiping, lest we be fired for it. That stopped them.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
1 Apr 11
Yikes, you went to the boss? Do they know it was you?
@thanks1961 (7046)
• India
31 Mar 11
I can't recollect any incident about me. Also, if there is something like, I don't care what they are talking at all. Thank-s
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
You are so kind and patient my friend. I just hope i could have some of that trait.
• India
1 Apr 11
Hi dear, In fact in my office (the group in which I am working) have about 140 people and I like to maintain a nice deal with all of them. Many are comes under 20-25 years old range and feel really a college atmosphere. In fact here no one has any time to talk about others and we all got a one family environment and the ratio comes like 60:40 in girls and boys. From staff to senior, manage, partner and all subordinate staff has a nice behavioural culture, we all have a nice and decent time. We get good fun and including other department on the floor we have nearly 600 people and most of us have the same mentality. However, there can be some gossips here and there but it just moves like a fun and when we all get together, we all enjoys in its own mood. This is the main reason why I never though of a change of my job for last many years and this is my 2nd job, where my first job was in a women's university, where 95% were girls!
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
2 Apr 11
I am glad to know that you have a happy atmosphere at your office at all times. Keep up being so understanding to people.
@Kalyni2011 (3503)
• India
31 Mar 11
I am sure they were talking about you and because of that they stopped talking after seeing you, you can see the changes in their face after you asked them.Yes it has happened with me many times, not in office because i don't do any job, but in gatherings, friends houses, even in my home, when a group of woman come to seefor some reason or other.. Thanks for sharing, women around the globe have many similarities.. Happy posting, cheers. Namastey. Kalyani
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
People doing that should be ashamed of themselves. Imagine being caught bad mouthing ! I won't have the face to show anymore.
1 person likes this
• India
1 Apr 11
You are right. Have emailed you, sorry for delay Namastey. Kalyani
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
31 Mar 11
That is so true, you know that the conversation was about you by the body language or the expressions on their faces, yet they will lie and say that the conversation had nothing to do with you. You are smart to know when people are not being honest, however, you just have to learn to ignore them and go on about your business. If you engage in their petty behavior then the office environment will be more unpleasant.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
In our office, when such behavior of back stabbing gets unsettled, it could be reported to the HR so it could dealt with accordingly. The starter of that back stabbing , resigned after a month. Reason , she back stabbed other too. From then on, there were no more back stabbing.
• United States
13 Apr 11
That is great news! I hope this person learns a lesson from this, and just maybe he or she will keep the next job. The work environment should be peaceful.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
4 Apr 11
I've found that a lot of people at work are talking about me. But that's because I've already given my notice, and would be out of here in two weeks. Most of them are just spreading the rumour about me leaving. I guess a lot of people here couldn't believe that I'm leaving the comfort of a big company and trading it for all the stress of a smaller one. I have to plaster this smile on my face for a little while, so I guess I don't mind people talking about me for a bit. Until I leave of course.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
Well, in your case wherein you are already leaving, it won't be a bother anymore if they are talking about you. But don't you want them to be clarified on the issue once and for all?
@KrauseHome (35529)
• United States
1 Apr 11
Happens all the time where I work, and half the time they are whispering about me even when I am in the room. Personally it does bother me, and makes me wonder if they have nothing better to talk about. Actually since I am in the process of looking for a New job I am hoping it will not be the same the next place I decide to go from here.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
2 Apr 11
How mean you office mates could be! Imagine whispering in front of you! One thing that is unprofessional, is to whisper into somebody's ear while a person is in front of you. Even if you weren't the one they are talking about, you would feel uncomfortable. Sometimes, people could outrightly be rude. Good that you are looking for a new job. I hope this time around it will be an office where the people are professional all the way. Good luck friend.
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
1 Apr 11
If this has happened with me I don't remember it. But don't let it bother you. If they are immature enough to be gossiping about you then you don't need their approval anyway. Perhaps they are just jealous of something you have done or maybe even jealous of your accomplishments. I try not to let the actions of others at work bother me, though I know it is easier said than done.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Yes, my friend, it's easier said than done. So, for myself i ask them so i could refute or confirm what they are saying or maybe correct what they find wrong with me. That way, i won't be bothered thinking about it too.
@katrinapaz (2438)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
this happened to me too. They were talking and when i came, they stopped talking and dispersed. I dont care what they say aboutme. What is important is that i am doing my job well and i try to have no backlogs. If they have a problem with me, I encourage them to say it to my face so that i can be corrected with my mistakes.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Yes, i am very much like you. Though , unlike you , i confront them. I want them to say it so i could correct whatever it is that i have done wrong.
@Gothicana (458)
• United States
1 Apr 11
Yes that happend to me when I was younger,and it really hurt me at that time. But now I am older and know you cant be loved from everyone that is not possible. The main thing is that you love your self
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
True we can't please everyone, but at least we could let them know that you know what they have done to you. I feel vindicated that way. But if what they are saying about you is nice , it's okay. . . they can go on and on. . .
@swissheart (6486)
• Romania
31 Mar 11
it happened to me too but this doesn't necessarely mean that they were talking about you...
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Well, i know that they are talking about me, because they will not stop if it's for other topics. You can very feel it when it's you they are talking about.
@reddart1 (85)
31 Mar 11
i hate ppl like that. they sould tell you what they think about you to your face. that is what i would like ppl to do.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Yes, just like you, i want people to tell me, if there's something wrong with me. If it's really wrong, then i could correct it. I take constructive criticism as improvement for myself. I guess, we all want people to be like that, or are we just the ones?
@GShivsk (15)
• India
31 Mar 11
it happens many times when you expect it the least. Many people unaware of you start talking about you and suddenly stop. I too face this around three times when in University.Its bad.... it seems to you that people hate you :(
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
2 Apr 11
They hate you, because you are better than them. They are just envious.
@jaiho2009 (39013)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
hello simplyd, Not with office,but back in my younger days,during school days,it happens and can not be avoided. I just ignore people who gossips,and yes,i also passed in front and would simply say "hi" with matching eyebrows up and half smile (nah,naughty me) Those were the days my dear...but in office,no...no chance at all maybe because everyone's busy and we are working as a team always.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Lucky you for being in an office like that. In our office, that was stopped because i have to report it to my boss. My boss had a meeting and in general warned everybody that gossiping is not allowed. She warned that should anyone be proven to be doing that, she will be fired That stopped the gossiping.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
Happened many times in the company where I used to work. There was a gap among the new employees and old employees in our company and it was not very good cause we ended up back biting each other and I even ended up having an attitude problem for not saying hello to the old employees. Like WHAT?!!
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Oh that's a sad atmosphere for an office. Didn't anyone try to have you all make up to each other and let you be united once and for all? I can't stand that kind of atmosphere. Something has to be done.
@Trensue (5254)
• United States
31 Mar 11
I love it when people are direct. I one time walked in on a conversation that froze. I simply said. "I can leave the room until you finish talking about me, I will be in the hall. Can someone come get me when you are done?" It created all kinds of havoc.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Well, i have one who is direct or frank like me! It's also nice to create havoc or fear to those kind of people. once in a while. Just try to see how they seem to be so meek, when you confront them!
@Des_diva (56)
• Trinidad And Tobago
31 Mar 11
i have had that experience too but you know what is ay i have to be really darm important for a whole office load of people to be talking about me i just ignore them and behave like i did not suspect anything
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
You're good in controlling what you feel. For me, i wouldn't give them triumph in thinking i would just go silent. I have to make myself clear to them that i know very well what they are talking about , and let them be ashamed of what they have done!
@humbleme (1004)
• India
31 Mar 11
Hello SIMPLYD, Thanks for your post.No it has never happend with me, but I have experienced situations like this.My advice to you is just ignore these situations with a smilling face, secondly try to increase your communication with every body at your office again with a smilling face, keep on doing this for a month I think the problem will be solved.Thanks again.
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
I tried being that once, but it didn't work well with me. I felt bad that i can't express what i felt. Besides, they will not stop because i didn't warn them so. I guess they are just afraid of me. The highest boss is my immediate boss. They think i will report them, but i do not. I deal with it myself. They know that.
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
I experienced that during college days.. But they are just hater and that makes you popular. ^_^ I love haters!
@SIMPLYD (81306)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
Yes, actually most of those who back stabs you are your envious of you in one way or another. I guess, i was popular then, so they hate me ! Well, i made them afraid of me by saying that line! They deserve that.