to buy or not to buy?
April 6, 2011 1:42am CST
i need ur opinion regarding this, my daugther is turning 4 years old this coming april 22, since she was 2 years she was asking me to buy a bicycle.. so i asked my husband and told him that our daugther is asking for a bike as her birthday present.. but my husband refused because she can get bruises or may have accident playing with bicycles. then i told my daugther to ask her dad .. and she say's " daddy could mommy buy me a bike for my birthday" and his dad reply " NO! i you will ride a bike ,you'll die!" .. is it good that my husband tells like this to our daugther?
1 person likes this
7 Apr 11
Hi Bhean1824, I agree with your husband to not get bicycle as it might be dangerous for 4 years old. To answer your question, It is NOT acceptable for your husband to be answer like that to a very young kid :( He should be more tactful in reply to his daughter. Something like: "You are not ready for bicycle yet, what about tricycle?" :)
11 Apr 11
Hi Shaace, your concern is understandable, all of us who are parents are equally concerned about their children, but I think a four-year-old is too old to ride a tricycle. Nowadays you get nice sturdy bicycles which come with a support set of small wheels on the rear tyre of the bicycle which does not let a child fall even if he or she is unable to balance herself well. These bicycles are good for four-year-olds and once they grow older and ride the bike well, the balancing wheels can be removed.
20 Apr 11
Your husband could have done better than him scaring the poor child that she could die by riding a bike. I know he is just concerned that his precious daughter could get hurt but dear, there is a more subtle way of telling her that. I myself is giving my son a bike for his 5th birthday. With proper supervision, I don't think they can get hurt with it. Why don't you talk to your husband and give your daughter a chance. I think riding a bike would be a good exercise for her and boost her confidence. There is still time dear, it is not too late to buy her, her desired present. I hope husband approves. If he is all that concerned about her safety, you can always give her limits like she is only allowed to play with her bike on a designated safe place.
11 Apr 11
OMG! Doesn't your husband realise that he is doing something that will seriously affect your daughter's confidence and will stunt her growth too? Its only imperative that children stumble and fall, yet again rise and play all they want, this is how they will learn to cope with things in the first place. If she is unable to ride a bike because her daddy would not buy her one or let mer mommy buy because he thinks that she will fall from the bike and die, this will remain imprinted in her mind forever and she will be afraid of very simple things further in her life. Try to reason with your husband and take help from friends if he is unable to understand what you tell him.
6 Apr 11
Your decision not to buy her a bike would be a big regret later on. Take my example, as I remember, I really wanted to learn how to ride that bike but my parents wouldn't let me, now that I am an adult I envy those who know how to ride one. She can have the bike, let her explore, how can she learn something new if you wouldn't let her. Accidents always happen that's why we are here parents to guide them always. Sometimes we parents are so protected that we hinder our children to grow further. By the way, explain kindly your reasons if she cannot have the bike in order for her to understand it clearly. State the facts. Do not tell her harsh words or lie just for your own sake.
• United States
6 Apr 11
As long as you are with her when she is riding and don't let her ride in the road, I don't think she is going to die. You can't let her growing up being afraid of everyday things in life.. especially since millions of other children have bicycles. I'm also assuming you would get her one with training wheels so she probably won't fall off. If it were me, I would go get the bike anyway. But I'm defiant and would do something like that. You should probably talk to your husband again and tell him to let his daughter grow!
• Guangzhou, China
6 Apr 11
I think it is wrong for your husband to say so to your daughter, I am sorry to say. It is hurtful. Your daughter's requirement is not so much. She just wants to have a bike. It is just a little wish in my opinion. Especially riding a bike won't make her die. On the contrary, having some outdoor activity is good for your daughter. My son has different bikes because I have to update him bigger size since he will grow up. I really want to give you my son's bike to your daughter so that she will be happy to ride it. I love China
6 Apr 11
Your husband's reason for not buy your daughter a bike as her birthday present is taken and considered. However, the manner of explaining it to a child the reason behind the non-provision of a bike to her as her birthday present my be in a subtle and sound way. Your husband must level his understanding to your daughter since she could hardly comprehend and appreciate the concept of "dieing when one rides a bike." As parents we must get the hang of playing and knowing the psychology of our children since it creates an atmosphere where both parents and the children understand things in life when we say YES or NO to something. After all, it would be them who'll be benefiting from it. =)
• United States
6 Apr 11
That is NOT a good thing for him to say to her. It could have a negative effect on her psyche. She could be afraid to try things because she could die. That is no way to be, especially at such a young age. Why don't you tell him that she can wear a helmet and elbow and knee pads to protect herself. And even shin guards to be extra safe. Also she can have a tricycle or a bike with training wheels. I had one around that age and my niece loves her bike. It's a good way to teach her about safety and responsibility. I was told I would die from a lot of things and it took a while for me to realize it wasn't true and even longer before I could work up the nerve to do things on my own. You have to be careful how you talk to kids. It may cause damage that you aren't even aware of. I'd get her the bike though, and pads and training wheels. Teach her to ride and have fun. Get one for yourself and ride with her :) nice way to bond!