Scared of people, scared of being open.

@Madmax73 (280)
Romania
April 11, 2011 1:10pm CST
Hello mylotters, How are you today? I've decided to write here about some of my fears in life, things that marked me for eternity:| First thing would be aggression and violence. 3-4 years ago i was just minding my business when a pack of guys bigger than me hit me out of nowhere with no reason, they didn't even know me for the name of... 1 kick in the back and then when i turned to see who hit me or what happen another full throttle kick in the face. it knocked me out, and left me a scar on the neck and the lower lip broken. Since then i've been scared of these moments, fights are fights , you know with who are you fighting,what's going to happen to you, but these things are just scary, you could just die there because an idiot wanted to have fun. For now i'm avoiding groups of people and trying to get as far as possible. What's your experience?
1 person likes this
8 responses
• India
12 Apr 11
hello friend what had happened with you is not so good so better try to be with more friends and they will help you in getting out of this problem and you will have much fun wide your friends and you will learn new things.
@Madmax73 (280)
• Romania
13 Apr 11
Yeah, i'll try to go in the open with friends...the thing is that i have violence, i'm a pacificist , although i am a big man, i could kick some butt...but just don't do it...
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
12 Apr 11
Hi madmax, last year we had problem of wrong calls and a bit torture, later the problem got solved, but still when ever the land line rings i and my parents get scared a bit to answer the call, things happen sometime , which remains the fear for some time.
@Madmax73 (280)
• Romania
13 Apr 11
You received calls with threats? I just don't get it why people do these...it's just evil...
• United States
12 Apr 11
I understand the feeling. When I was 18 I was mugged. In a way it was a bit my fault because I decided to take an alley way near some abandoned train tracks to get home because it's faster and I knew I shouldn't have since there had been many attacks in the area. It's so far off from the main road that you could do anything and no one would know. Four guys popped up asking for my money and anything of worth and I gave them everything I had and they still attacked me. I'm only 5'2 and weigh 106lbs so I'm a tiny woman and there was no need for four tall and bulky guys to come at me like that. I had a black eye, broken nose, broken jaw, 3 broken ribs and a broken arm. I didn't leave the house literally for a year. I just found work on the internet, bought food from online and what not. Going outside pretty much gave me a heart attack. I got help with a therapist and slowly came out. Now I can walk freely again with the world but I'm still scarred. I'm still extremely paranoid when I see groups of men and will do anything possible to avoid them. I still feel the need to defend myself if a guy makes quick movements towards me, grab my arm, gets loud, I instantly have a weapon in my hand because I think I'm being attacked.
@Madmax73 (280)
• Romania
13 Apr 11
ouch... sorry for what happened...it's hard being a woman and to get attacked by men...your strength can't deal with theirs... I'm glad your ok now.
12 Apr 11
i am sorry for that.yes,that kind of bad guys do exist.they just do harm to others for entertaiment.but we have our own lives,such experiences cant stand on our way to happiness.maybe we should forget it and make ourselves strong enough to protect us from such kind of harm.
@Madmax73 (280)
• Romania
13 Apr 11
I am happy, well not happy, but have a quite good life, but it's just this fear of walking on the street and have in front of me a gang... and no matter how strong i am, i still have the feeling that when i pass by that gang some 1 is gonna hit me
@Gothicana (458)
• United States
11 Apr 11
oh my dear friend I am so sorry to hear that. Maybe my story can help i little When I was almost 16 I got raped from 3 guys. And I was starting to avoid all people. I had got already my first appartment,and locked me in there. One time in the week my mom picked my up for grosery shopping,cause somehow I must survive. It was a very hard time. And still today when I am alone walking down the street and see more then to people in a group fear comes over me,and in the past I changed the side of the street. But I dont do that anymore,cause that is no life. So I slowly go staight ahead and pass the people and with everytime I am doing this I get more confadence in my self. You have to try it to live a halfaway real life greetings goth
@Madmax73 (280)
• Romania
11 Apr 11
i'm sorry for what happened...my situation doesn't compare with yours... Yeah...it's kind of hard to have confidence and walk on the same sidewalk on which 3-4 bullies walk. I think i should get some fighting practice, and some reflex exercises so i can defend then, i think that this could be the only solution. Please take care gothicana.
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
that is so scary. i hope and pray i will not experience such a thing or anything similar. a lot of things are happening in my country, too. evil is everywhere. i know that whatever caution we do it is very possible that we could accidentally meet such incidences and people. i pray as frequent now for these things.
@edsss17 (4398)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
Hi madmax, OMG! I'm sorry to hear that! Before, I am scared of people and being open too. I have no confidence! Everything I do, I always mind what will people say! But one day this year, I just realize I don't live my life for them, I live my life for me and for the people who love me.. After all, I am gaining a little confident! :) And I guess, self-esteeming is really quite good!
@QeeGood (1214)
• Sweden
11 Apr 11
Sounds like you've had a traumatic experience to work on with yourself. I've been beaten up and got really bruised on my body and I have scars in my soul from past experiences. I've come to the insight that to build muscles and do stretching helps to feel safe being with people. The more strength you regain in your body the more secure you feel with yourself.