When do you say no to a brother that bothers you most of the time?

It's true that blood is thicker than water. Nothing can compare the love that we have for our own family than for our friends. But sometimes being a caring sister, we too have our limits. I would say 'no', it won't make you a bad sister if you finally say 'no' to your brother. Perhaps by doing that, it would help him to realize that from now on, he has to stand on his two own feet.

I still submit myself to blood is thicker than water.. In other words I would always choose my brother/ sister or anybody of my blood over anyone else... As to helping him financially If I have the means I will always help him but if the money he borrows goes to a bad purpose then you can say no but if it's for a good reason then why not as long as I can. The equation changes when I am not financially well off and it affects my family as well then I will have to say no sometimes but not all the time.. As long as your financially well and does not affect your life then why not.. I will always help him...

bingskee, As I am not very clear about what is going on between the both of you and have a full understanding, I do not think I am in any position to advise you what to do. I do agree with you that blood is thicker than water and I would not hesitate if my sibling would look to me for help. I understand that there might be a possibility of warping the self independence part for your brother but I feel that it is not the time to debate such things other than solving the problem on hand first. Because, any delay or even refusal could have dire consequences which can be irreparable. Besides, I am sure we would be closing the very last door (which is always the case) when we refuse to help them in such challenging times. However, I would not condone to any of it if they are against the law or could bring harm to people. I think that will be the line to draw for me.

Hi. bingskee. Even when we really love someone, we have to sometimes tell them no, even if it hurts us sometimes. You can't always help someone all of the time even when you love them. You have to set firm boundaries and stick to them too.

I do not think that one becomes a bad sister by just saying NO. I do believe that blood is thicker than water and yes I would want to be the first incase my sisters are in trouble but that does not mean I would help them if they put themselves and me in problem deliberately. I would make him or her understand that I also have a life of my own and do not want to get into trouble for no fault of mine and there is always a limit to everything and yes there are sometimes friends who care for us much more than family.

In my opinion I believe that as caring humans we tend to enable our loves ones way too much. Sometimes it is easier to say no to a stranger then it is to an actual one for obvious reasons. In the case you are mentioning I feel that one has to draw the line eventually and say no, when the person is completely unreasonable and not willing to come to an agreement with one. So it would be best for us to say no, regardless if the brother feels we are bad, because continuing to enable is not healthy, rather encouraging the bad behavior. So at the risk of being thought of as the bad sister, if all else has failed one can say that although I love you very much this time I must say no.

Even when related we must say "no" in order to meet our own obligations in a prompt manner. If he is constantly bothering you for money, you may have to find a way to put some distance between you, so that he cannot constantly bother you.

I do not think you are a bad sister to say no to a brother. It's not right for him to constantly extort you or bring problems..and it is just as wrong to let him continue doing so. Abuse has to stop and if he cannot be responsible you certainly do not have to live with it!

This would have to depend to the circumstances of why a brother is bothering you. I don't believe yu are being a bad sibling to say no. it is just what the words can mean to your situation and relationship with each other. sometimes you just have to say no so you can move on in your own life.

Dear Ms. Bingskee Yes, Blood is thicker than water. Thanks to the chemical composition. Going by the things happening in the present world, I feel that there are many people who have felt that water is thicker than the blood. But these are the ones who have bad luck. They are either looking things from the wrong aspects or have become so much money oriented(money here - anything that makes a person forget the values of life). Me and my brother... we had our differences no doubt. I still remember the day we stabbed each other. But that day we realized that we were fools to have a difference. I love my brother more than I love many. And even though we are staying away, the distance is just physical. I love him and he does love me. Differences will always exist but it is us who have to realize that the world is much better and healthier if we keep our differences at bay during the times of need and also the normal times. And yes, I cannot see tears in his eyes even when he sobs about India losing a cricket game. That I think means a lot...

You're not actually helping him if you always give in to him, whenever he's asking help from you. I think it's high time you finally say no to him. He will feel bad about it, but in the end he'll learn to stand on his own two feet. :)

it would not make you a bad sister, but since you love your brother you'll be bothered...I'm thankful to have a brother who might not be perfect but respects and loves me in return so I feel bad to know that there are cases like this...

hi bingskee, Sorry to have a "problematic" brother. I have to say, you cannot be helping him all the time. Even a friend who needed help, and constantly bugging you to help them, I'm sure you have your limitations. Sometimes, saying no is a good thing.

I don't think you'll be a bad sister if you say no every now and then because everyone's entitled to say no once or twice in their life. If you're always constantly saying yes then he's already setting a precedent that you'll help him out. If you say no then he's getting the opportunity and the strength to figure something out himself. So, don't be afraid to say no.