Love Hurts more than I know, here's why...

Cebu, Philippines
April 21, 2011 2:57am CST
I do not know what's going on between us ( me and my boyfriend ). I always sent him an FB ( Face book ) message and often comments on his pictures when I find it cute. I just noticed that my boyfriend used to comment on other pictures as well, to his relatives and friends but not to me. I know I should not be jealous over his family but it seems that he can make jokes with them but not me. I can be as funny and I know how to react those jokes. I can be his best friend and lover. What makes me feel so sad is that, I feel like I'm being neglected. Why? It is because I am no longer receiving text message and calls from him after he called me up when I got sick ( referring to my old post ) here in my lot. After those, there is none. None at all! Do you think he ever love me? Or still love me? Or I am just being paranoid? My gosh, this hurts more than I could imagine. I've texted him, how was he, his work and his life there in abroad but received nothing from him. Then only to find out, he was able to comment 2 pictures of other friends from Facebook. I'm confused and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared to ask or is it right to ask if he do still love me? Coz, he might get mad? Help me guys! I need your opinion about this. Advised me on what to do to make him call or text. Please???? Thank you.
1 person likes this
13 responses
@Renhard (3480)
• Jamaica
22 Apr 11
According to the way that you describe it, I would have to say that it all depends on whether there is a problem or not. Let I explain using my situation: I have been in alot of relationships and every relationship which i stuck on to my lover ended up not working. The reason is that they usually get bored of the relationship. It is just facts and even though they say they love me so much and they will never get bored of me it still ended up that way. I then decided to change my tactics and now after a few months after getting into a relationship, I start to not pay my lover that much attention like I used to. And to let you know I wasnt cheating on her. Anyway, I realize then that all that attention I did not give to her made her overly concern with me and is like she really did not want to loose me. I didntwant her to stop behaving like that so I secretely blushed, etc when she wasnt around and when we are communicating over the phone or so, I would have on a different face if you get what I mean. It seem to work even up to this day. So in that case(that is if your case is like mine) maybe your boyfriend doesnt want you to get bored of him so he does some things to get you overly concern, which is a good thing. One thing I actually heard you saying and i think you will find this part of my response most important. I only heard you say you text him, message him etc. What's that??? Words on a screen, thats all. If this is so then maybe that is what is causing all this problem. Maybe he relaly need to hear your voice. I really believe that you need to call him and you and him have a talk. Notice that I say call and not message. It would be the best if you could get to communicate face to face but based on what you said, it seem like this is a long distant relationship. If I am wrong with the long distant part then you and him need to sit down and have a conversation soon as possible. Come on now no more messages until the problem is solve and even if it does get solve, dont only rely on messages to communicate with him. Voice needs to be in the communication.
• Cebu, Philippines
23 Apr 11
Hi again, this is my 3rd time to attempt to reply coz internet will cut me off and I have to retype. Anyway, I've been looking forward to your reply since yesterday and I'm glad I have one from you. As of the moment, it's very impossible for me to go to his place because it's in the middle east and it's very dangerous there. Sad to say, tomorrow, April 24th is our anniversary and I'm not sure if he is going to call, text or email me at all. I'm getting tired of this and I don't know what to do at this point in time. All I know is that, there is nothing that I can do but to wait for now and I can't call him ill wait first for him to call me and if there is none, then I'll decide what to do and I need your help on this. okay? Please?
• Cebu, Philippines
23 Apr 11
I feel like he has someone in his place at the moment, that's why he tend to forget me. And I noticed earlier that he was able to comment another wall post in facebook but not able to send me a single message in my inbox. Isn't unfair? I feel like I'm giving up now. For 7 years of being friends and a year being away as officially us couple, just gone waste!
@Renhard (3480)
• Jamaica
23 Apr 11
This is such the hard part. I hate to see when a good couple go down the drain. Do you feel you can put that relationship on the risk? How would you feel if it so happens that you break up? I want to tell you to do something really but it would all depends on you on how you really see this relationship in your eyes. My advice is to completely stop call, stop message, just stop COMMUNICATE. Do not say a word to him until he says a word to you first. The advantage of this though is that you will really see if he cares, if he cares enough to see if there is something wrong why you stop communicate. The disadvantage: (Suppose he hasn't moved on and something else is the problem or maybe he haven't realize the pain he is putting you through)He might think that you have move on or gotten over him and this might cause him to move on. So now you see the advantage and disadvantage of this technique. Are you willing to put this relationship on the risk? Don't you relly love him?
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
21 Apr 11
I do not know your earlier post, but how long has this been going on? If it's been weeks, then I guess you need to ask him directly. It is better to know earlier if he wanted to break out the relationship than waiting uncertainly and got hurt by his actions. You can explain the situation when he called you that time, apologize and ask at the same time.
• Cebu, Philippines
21 Apr 11
Yes, sad to say it started since January of this year. And I feel like all the promises that we have for each other are no longer there! It's like all of a sudden you were both okay and then the following day it's unheard. You are absolutely right, he's hurting me. He already told me that he's lazy and can't fulfill something in a relationship, but I still insist that I can try to fill those empty spaces but as I have tried, it seems it will never fill a thing. It's getting worse. Am I a rebound? What should I do?
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
25 Apr 11
Wow, you are more patient than I thought. It's been months, so I guess he's not into you. You should cut the ties and move on. And be happy... if there is no one to make you happy, make yourself happy.
• Cebu, Philippines
26 Apr 11
Yes, it is but I don't know why he's not telling me something if he doesn't want me anymore? I just want him to be honest. Not keep me waiting for nothing.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
24 Apr 11
Sounds like your relationship sad to say is on the rocks, before it's too late, please get in touch with him and talk seriously about the state of your relationship, just face it do not think of any negative thoughts, it is better to be informed with the status of your relationship lived with so many questions at the back of your mind. Talk to your boyfriend regarding your situation, try to open up and be open-minded as well. It is not healthy emotionally if the situation will continue like that. Good luck!
• Cebu, Philippines
26 Apr 11
I do tried to call him up just now and it's seems that his busy at work. So I ended up ending the call right away, but before I end it he told me to call back later. When I heard his voice it seems like it's soft and sweet so I really don't know what's going on,and that made me really confused.What should I do?
@ckciasigurl (1570)
• Vienna, Austria
24 Apr 11
so is your problem solved already? why don't u try to call him? you know if you call him he cannot deny what he is saying because u can hear him if messages or txt he can ignore it but call no. you know when that happen to me i cry asking why my boyfriend is like that then that's the time i realized that if he forgot me already then ok. we broke up with not saying to each other it is just erase the number and finish, try to talk to him and tell your feelings to him.
• Cebu, Philippines
26 Apr 11
Not yet, but I am still in the process of resolving this on time. I hope this will favor me. what's keeping me is that, I knew his family already and it's so hard to look for someone and start another relationship which makes me feel so sad too. I just want him and hopefully everything will work the way I want it to be.
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
21 Apr 11
This whole situation I can see how it is frustrating and that it would make you sad. If I were you I would talk to him about how you feel. It's important for him to know. It's very important to communicate with him since a lot of the time when we don't talk to people we don't know what they are thinking. He shouldn't get mad if you handle the situation in a tactful manner. Just let him know that you miss him and are that you are sad and worry that he may not care for or love you another. That way he hopefully sees things as they are and can talk with you about them. I hope things for out well for you and him.
• Cebu, Philippines
22 Apr 11
It is really frustrating and at the same time painful to experience. I feel like giving up, but thinking that I'm gonna lost him, makes me crazy! I just need simple text message, call or e-mail will do but there is none. Sigh! I don't know why I deserve such treatment.
• India
21 Apr 11
What i can suggest you is just stop being paranoid and deluding yourself into thinking that he no longer cares for you. Give him some room to settle down there, probably he has got a lot on his mind. Even after few days he does'nt call you or message you, try call him or message him asking him politely what with him and whats making him not to be in touch with you. Even after this he does'nt respond then try to find out from his friends whats happening with him. If you figure out everything is going good with him, then probably he must be ignoring you and he never really loved you truly. This is something i can suggest you, i just hope he is not ignoring you and he finally makes a move to contact you.
• Cebu, Philippines
22 Apr 11
I really tried not to be paranoid, if you only just knew. But I can't help myself to feel that way because I can feel that I am being neglected which makes me do so and confused with this actions. Everytime I call, it seems that he doesn't have time at all and me, left alone waiting for his message til day passes by and received nothing!
@cream97 (29168)
• United States
21 Apr 11
Hi. ccarabuena. He does seem like he is acting shady towards you. I think that you should send him a message, whether it be a text or an email message. You should tell him to call you because it is very important! Hopefully, this will get his attention. When you get into touch with him, tell him what you have told us. Also tell him how this is making you feel as far as being with his concerned. You will have to be honest with him, because he needs to be honest right back with you. It is not fair that he is treating you coldly. There must be a reason and he owes you that much to at least tell you so. I hope that he will tell you what is wrong. The only reason that I can think of of why he is acting this way with you is because, he does not want to get too personal with you on Facebook. Maybe he just does not want others to see him act a certain way around you. But still, that does not explain why he has not called or text you back though. His attitude is most definitely rude.
• Cebu, Philippines
22 Apr 11
We'll he mentioned to me before that he is not showy with his feelings and this could be one of the reason why. But what made me confused is that, we used to be friends and we do not have this kind of awkwardness, does it mean he is ashamed of me? I'm not ugly, I'm not dumb but why?
@piya84 (2591)
• India
21 Apr 11
May be you are reading too much in between lines and getting paranoid.For some time dont contact him at all and try to talk as minimum as possible.Let him contact you and prove his feelings for you as well.May be you are trying to hard and need to bend little backward and try to give him a chance to show his love and attention.
• Cebu, Philippines
22 Apr 11
Yeah, maybe you're right and I was also thinking the same thing. But what if it will take him to long to text or call? Is that normal? Omg! thinking about it makes me crazy!
@asg_85 (8)
• Bahamas
21 Apr 11
Like the others have mentioned, do not just be idle and let him dictate the terms. Just call him and confront him. Truat me, n o matter the outcome, you will bebetter in the long run. Two quotes come to mind; "It is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all" and "True love can not be found where it does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does"
• Cebu, Philippines
21 Apr 11
Thank you. We just chatted like 3 minutes through FB and I asked him why he's not replying and he said, he's running out of load. Would that suffice? Should I believe him?
21 Apr 11
If I was you I would end this relationship, it looks like he is getting bored, but without hurting your feelings he is hanging on most likely till something better comes along. They all do for some unknown reason. I know being gay does not rule me from the same category. but I have had it done to me and i have done it back. What your boyfriend doesn't want to do is hurt your feelings. But what he doesn't realise it is hurting your feelings by not telling you or letting you go and move on. This is where he as an hold on you. You should just bite the bullet and tell him its over.
• Cebu, Philippines
21 Apr 11
I think I can't broke up with him. He's my world and my life. If he's gone, I don't know where to go after that. I know it's not right to give it all but I can't help myself =( which is the hardest part. Should I wait for him to text me back or call?
• Mexico
22 Apr 11
i think you most call him and ask whats going on now, its better to confront him before than having you nervous because of what he thinks, my advice might not be good but if he is working abroad, let me tell you i dont believe on those kind of relationships, what make you think he is faithful to you?
@cperry (147)
• United States
21 Apr 11
First of all, think positive thoughts. Sometimes people just need some space to work out things in their relationship. Give it some time and if he doesn't respond to you then maybe he might not be the right one for you. You seem to be a beuatifule caring young lady. I am sure that everything will work out for you
@dimzok (127)
• Indonesia
21 Apr 11
why you dont to call him immidietly,and try to answer hin,about his feeling to you? dont let your love life to be hang by him