My Mom Has To Have Surgery And We're All Terrified!

@CatsandDogs (13964)
United States
April 22, 2011 1:32pm CST
My mom has to have surgery but it's likely to kill her! I'm so freaked out! Do you remember her problems with her kidneys? It was a discussion on mylot that I made a couple of years ago. One kidney is barely working and full of stones while the other is working and full of stones and that her bladder basically hangs out of her body. She has to get stints put in both kidneys every six months and has been doing that off and on for years and years to get them to drain. Well because of her bladder falling and fallen some more and her rectum has fallen too, it's caused the stint to come loose and fall in her bladder poking holes in it. They're going to go in and get the stint, fix her bladder with this new procedure (my aunt had it done about 18 times with all the ‘new’ procedures and it's never worked, her's has fallen out yet again) as well as pull her rectum back up AND try to get the stones out of her kidneys. For one thing, that's way too much on her fragile body. Plus after she had the stroke three years ago when she fell and broke her pelvis that’s when she found out that her kidneys were full of stones but the doctors couldn’t operate to get them out because she'd die for sure because she had a blood clot in her lung. In other words, she can’t have general anesthesia or she will die. She can be put in a deep sleep (so the stints could be put in) but a deep sleep is nothing like the general anesthesia which she needs to be put under with. But they have to try because of the stint in her bladder. She has the stints taken out at the doctor’s office however, to have new ones put in, she has to go to the hospital for a day which is considered outpatient procedure. Makes no sense but that’s how it works. She’s supposed to have them replaced every six months. We all are so terrified! But we’re hoping that being that three years has passed, that that will make a difference in her ability to be put under. In other words, time. Time to heal. Not sure on that and don’t know where to ask but I will be doing some research on this. Does anybody know anything about pulmonary embolism? Does it have a time limit to where in such and such a time that one can’t be put under? For an example, my mom had a blood clot in her lung, is she ok now since it’s been three years? We're all so scared of losing her! She said she's not ready to go either! My mom really needs all the prayers! We do too!! We're a nervous wreck!
7 people like this
15 responses
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Dear Cats, I know nothing about pulmonary embolisms but I will pray for all of you and especially your Mom. It's scary when someone so close is going through something so difficult. I wish there were words to make you feel better but there are not. I just want to reach through time and space and give you a hug and pray with you for everything to go well. God Bless all of you and your Mom.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Thank you so much stary! You're so kind! I'd like to welcome you to mylot! Hope you enjoy your time here! I talked to mom on the phone about three and a half hours ago, she sounded so down. First she says she's not going through with the surgery and then she says, she's not sure what she's going to do. She's so scared and confused. She is going for a second opinion though but not sure with who but thankfully for her friend and neighbor, who used to be an RN, knows some good urologists in the area. There is one, maybe two, in my area if it doesn't work out. May God Bless you too!
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Thank you for the welcome...so many nice friendly people are here. Oh you guys are really facing tough times...I am sorry and will continue good thoughts, good wishes and prayers for you. I am so sorry your Mom is scared...and who wouldn't be, Bless her. Keep us informed, there are many praying with you and wanting only the best for you all.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Thank you stary! I've posted another discussion on the matter and all is well now! Please do check it out! HUGS to you!
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Apr 11
i will surely pray for your mom to make it. being through so much pain im really surprised shes not ready to meet Jesus. i know theres been many times i try to talk to my son about how much i want rid of all the pain. but, like you, he doesnt want to hear about it of course we so want them to be here for ever. poor lady it sounds like its really bad for her. i will pray also she gets to feeling better when everything is put in rights for her.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Actually, she's not in any pain at all except when she's standing a long period of time and then sits down because her bladder will hang out further and she tends to sit on it and it feels like she's being pinched. These days she can't stand for long so her bladder doesn't get to that point much anymore. Her kidneys don't hurt either. She knows they're full of stones, large ones at that but they haven't bothered her but still, it's not good for her kidneys. I talked to mom on the phone about two and a half hours ago, she sounded so down. First she says she's not going through with the surgery and then she says, she's not sure what she's going to do. She's so scared and confused. She is going for a second opinion though but not sure with who but thankfully for her friend and neighbor, who used to be an RN, knows some good urologists in the area. There is one, maybe two, in my area if it doesn't work out.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Apr 11
i can see her fear. i know how that is not knowing if the doctor is going to cause pain and suffering. pain im really afraid of, more then just dieing easily. i really think everyone should always get a second opinion. thats a great idea. she really should.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
22 Apr 11
I'm sorry, I know nothing about pulmonary embolism, but I will pray for your family and your mom..
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Apr 11
Hopefully I'll find someone who knows a bit more about this than I do and is able to tell me something that will help me with my mom. I knew something serious would come up eventually where she just may need surgery but I hoped it wouldn't but now that it has, what the hell are we to do? I mean, what choice does she have BUT to have the surgery because the stint is poking holes in her bladder? A hell of a position to be in, I do know that.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 11
I know I'm sorry... It's like that phrase, catch 22... Not good if she has the surgery, not good if she doesn't..That is where our faith comes in..
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
26 Apr 11
Cats Sweetie You are all in my thoughts specially your Mum I am so sorry this is happening my thoughts and love are with you all
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Hi gabs, as you already know, plans have changed. Thank you for caring!
@AmbiePam (49877)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Wow! That's a heck of a load of procedures she needs done. You know we'll be praying for her. And you. It's so hard to watch our loved ones in pain. I don't know a lot, but from what I gather, the former clot should not be a problem now, having been three years ago.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Hi AmbiePam! I've posted another discussion on the matter and all is well now! Please do check it out! Thank you for your prayers and for caring!
• Philippines
23 Apr 11
hello catsandogs, Be strong for your mom I will include her to my prayers Hope everything will turn out to be good Godbless you all
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Hi bhabycatch013! I've posted another discussion on the matter and all is well now! Please do check it out! Thank you for your prayers and for caring!
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
23 Apr 11
By the time this post gets posted, the surgery would have been over. I hope she was able to survive it. Anything involving surgery really scares us all. I hope and pray for her quick recovery.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Hi Cutie, I've posted an update on this, please do check it out! It's good news! Yay!! LOL Thanks for your prayers and for caring!!
• Philippines
23 Apr 11
Cheer up CatsandDogs! I understand your feelings right now. We are only human beings and only God who created us knows what's on the next pages of our life. Hold on to this, Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV) "Be strong and of good courage,do not fear nor be afraid of them;for the LORD your God,He is the One who goes with you.He will not leave you nor forsake you. I still remember when my mom had a stroke attack four years ago. She went on brain surgery and her surgeon told us that she'd a 50/50 chance to survive. My father and brother is in shocked. So, pray hard and hold on to this. Thanks God, she's alive !and she can walk after her therapy! Prayer really works! May I know the surgery date so we can include this in our prayer meeting. God Bless!
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Hi gingerberrie. Welcome to mylot. Hope you enjoy it here. You are right, we are all God's children and when he's ready to take us home, He will. My mom had a brain stem stroke and wasn't expected to live. In fact, about 95% of people who have this type don't make it. If they do then they're usually in a vegetative state. My mom made it and is able to talk, eat/swallow and walk. She can't write though and she's constantly dizzy BUT she's alive. We prayed and prayed so hard for her to live and get better and she did. She didn't get all of her functionings back but she got a lot more than most people do so for that we're all very grateful that God saw her through. The surgery hasn't been scheduled yet because she wants to get a second opinion which is a really good idea. I talked to mom on the phone about two and a half hours ago, she sounded so down. First she says she's not going through with the surgery and then she says, she's not sure what she's going to do. She's so scared and confused. She is going for a second opinion though but not sure with who but thankfully for her friend and neighbor, who used to be an RN, knows some good urologists in the area. There is one, maybe two, in my area if it doesn't work out. Thank you SO much for your prayers!! God Bless you too!
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
22 Apr 11
Gee whiz Cats, I am so sorry. I made a comment of facebook too. Let us all know when the surgery is, that way we can all send up extra prayers for your mom. The blood clot danger is for everyone who is bed ridden. The doc will ake extra precations with your moms history. They won't do surgery unless they feel your mom will survive. I feel so sorry for your mom, she has been thru so much. Your mom is a strong women, look at what she has come thru. She is going to come thru this just fine. I know your terrified, truthfully I would be too. I just said a prayer for all of you.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35529)
• United States
22 Apr 11
My thoughts and Prayers are with you, your Mom and your family at this time. When you know someone close to you like this that is having some Medical issues it can be quite a hard thing to deal with and handle. It would be easier if they were not feeling like this for sure. And then due to all the other complications sometimes knowing what is Best is the hard thing for sure. I will be Praying as I am sure others will be too, and believing no matter what happens god is in control. You just need to be strong and believe yourself and take time to realize that sometimes life just happens and there is not much we can do.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Apr 11
Thank you KrauseHome.... I agree, God is in control. It's just that we're not ready to give mom up just yet and she isn't ready to go either. I will be strong though for her sake and of course my belief in God and being His will is real too. My faith hasn't faultered one bit during the awful time three years ago and it won't now. I talked to mom on the phone about two and a half hours ago, she sounded so down. First she says she's not going through with the surgery and then she says, she's not sure what she's going to do. She's so scared and confused. She is going for a second opinion though but not sure with who but thankfully for her friend and neighbor, who used to be an RN, knows some good urologists in the area. There is one, maybe two, in my area if it doesn't work out.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
22 Apr 11
Well she'll be on my prayer list for sure...hope things go better then you expect. I know how worried you must be! I lost my mother many years ago!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Apr 11
Thank you so much jillhill!! Hopefully I'll find someone who knows a bit more about this than I do and is able to tell me something that will help me with my mom. I knew something serious would come up eventually where she just may need surgery but I hoped it wouldn't but now that it has, what the hell are we to do? I mean, what choice does she have BUT to have the surgery because the stint is poking holes in her bladder? A hell of a position to be in, I do know that. Plus she doesn't want to go to the hospital she was in before because it was hell then and we're sure it's no different now so I'm hoping to get her to go to the hospital near me instead where she'll at least have a fighting chance.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
22 Apr 11
Oh no Cats, I am so sorry you are facing this. I am no help on this subject at all. I would talk with the doctor. It is so frightening thing to go through, I am sure you are a mess. You know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully the prognosis is better than the last time. Hopefully someone else can help with your questions.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Apr 11
Hopefully I'll find someone who knows a bit more about this than I do and is able to tell me something that will help me with my mom. I knew something serious would come up eventually where she just may need surgery but I hoped it wouldn't but now that it has, what the hell are we to do? I mean, what choice does she have BUT to have the surgery because the stint is poking holes in her bladder? A hell of a position to be in, I do know that. Thanks for your prayers! I will keep you all updated on everything that happens.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
22 Apr 11
I am so sorry to hear that. I have just said a prayer for your mother. I hope everything turns out okay for her and the family. I have heard of the pulmonary embolism, but I am sorry that I do not know anything about it. I hope someone here can tell you more to ease your mind. Sincerely.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Apr 11
So far I haven't found anybody or anything that tells me what I need to know but I'm still searching! I'm hoping to talk mom into getting a second opinion here closer to me where she'll have a much better chance at making it through the surgery. The hospital where she was before was hell and that's mildly speaking. She doesn't want to go there again especially with something as serious as this. Thank you so much for your prayers!
@mandylee (267)
• China
23 Apr 11
I send you all my prayers and blessings to your mom.i learned the situation you're in every much,i learned the mood you had,because my dad have diabetes and hypertention,he had to take medicine all the time,we're all afraid of his illness that is dangerous when not being controled well.I hope your mom can get through the surgery successfully,and turn better
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Hi mandylee! I've posted another discussion on the matter and all is well now! Please do check it out! Thank you for your prayers and for caring!
• United States
22 Apr 11
You and your Mom are both in my prayers. When is this all supposed to take place?
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Apr 11
I talked to mom on the phone about two and a half hours ago, she sounded so down. First she says she's not going through with the surgery and then she says, she's not sure what she's going to do. She's so scared and confused. She is going for a second opinion though but not sure with who but thankfully for her friend and neighbor, who used to be an RN, knows some good urologists in the area. There is one, maybe two, in my area if it doesn't work out. The surgery isn't scheduled yet and now I don't know what's going to happen till she gets a second opinion.