moving in together

April 26, 2011 5:32pm CST
me and my partner have been together for almost 2years and in a months time we iwll be moving into a new home together we each have a child from a previous relationship my daughter is 6 and will be living with us full time and she gets on brilliantly with my boyfriend his daughter is 3 and he has her to stay every firiday and every other saturday. I have spent alot of time with his daughter forming a bond and getting to know her but if my bloke leaves the room and it is just me and his daughter she cries and throws a paddy for her dad she refuses to notice me or listen to me unless her dad is in the room we have tried talking to her but she is only 3years old, does anyone else have any similar experiences or advice on how we should handle this problem expecially with us moving in together
4 responses
@dodo19 (27714)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
27 Apr 11
Well, I had a similar experience with my husband. Although it wasn't with his kids (as neither of us had any at the time), it was with his sister's eldest daughter. He is very close with his mom, and his sister. He was around a lot for her. When we started dating, she really did not like me at all. She could care less. I guess part of her didn't want to lose him, as they've always had a special bond, which I never had a problem with. She was two at the time. Now almost four years later, she passed that and she has opened up to me. She calls me "Auntie Do" and will tell me she loves me, which is sweet. Sometimes, it just takes time. I don't think it's really you she has a problem with per se. I think that she just needs time to get used to the fact that you are now in her life and her father's life. Just keep doing what you're doing. Just keep trying, keep being friendly and such. I'm sure things will get better.
27 Apr 11
thankyou its nice to hear that someone has had a similar experience and that everything turned out ok its put my mind at rest and ill just keep doing what im doing thanks again
• United States
26 Apr 11
It will take time being he only has her for such a short time. All you can do is wait and see how living together with your child and his works out. They will grow together in time and so will you. She knows her father and her mother and is really young. I think waiting it out will be fine.
26 Apr 11
thank you i think you are probably right and in time she will grow to trust being alone with me my daughter has taken to my partner so well and they have a great relationship i guess in a way im kind of jealous that i cnt form the same relationship with his daughter
@misc11 (384)
• United States
26 Apr 11
I don't have any kids of my own, but I have babysat a lot of kids and been around a lot of children. I think the only thing that can solve that issue is spending more time with his daughter so she warms up to you more. Maybe just the two of you could go on a couple outings together so she feels more comfortable. I think 3 is a hard age and she will grow out of it. She will see you a lot more if you two are moving in so this will probably help her warm up a little. You could also get her a few coloring books or something she likes so she can understand you are just there to help her! I think as soon as you all move in, everything will be fine, and you shouldn't worry at all!
26 Apr 11
i will suggest this to her dad and try spending time with just me and her hopefully without too much crying and upset i know it will be hard at first and i am willing to put the effort in i hope it pays off and at least if she decides she doesnt like me she only has to see me once or twice a week
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
27 Apr 11
She'll get used to it in soon time. Always spend time with these kids to form a strong bond. Kids are kids they will surely love play time.