the pros and cons of self-confidence...

Philippines
April 28, 2011 5:12am CST
Ok Ok. For those who have seen the latest episode of Glee, they brought up a really interesting topic: Acceptance. The major argument of it is that you should love yourself enough to accept and capitalize on whatever short comings you have. If you are short, hey love being short. If you're not that smart, it shouldn't be any reason to love yourself less. This is all good. Loving yourself is fine. But it brings me to the counter argument also made in the show. If you become too comfortable with who you are, including your short comings, then how will you ever make yourself better? If you look in the mirror and see something you don't like, shouldn't you try everything to change it? or should you just accept it? What do you think??
1 person likes this
9 responses
• Norway
28 Apr 11
for me...you can't improve your self if you dont accept who you are. improving is different thing from accepting. it doest mean that you dont accept yourself when you wanted to improve right? changing yourself? on the process, people do really change. everything change. but as a person, whatever physical, emotional, intellectual, spritual or whatever changes we under go to, it will always be the attitude that will define a person.
• Argentina
28 Apr 11
I believe most of us accept ourselves already, we are already resigned, if not, probably we would kill ourselves. I hate when people say this kind of things. Nobody can say to other what to do if they don't want or they want. And, there are other ways to change yourself, you have never used makeup or having a haircut?
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hmmm. That definitely made me think there, dhellick08chou! The first part of improving one's self is accepting one's short comings. I agree with that completely! But people sometimes do misinterpret "acceptance" as a way out of making actual efforts towards improvement. I'm sure you've heard the "ancient" excuse that people always retreat to. "I shouldn't be ashamed of being _______, I was born this way and theres nothing wrong with that." It comes to a point where people feel too safe behind that singular statement.
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Well, I didn't really think that deep about glee's episode to be honest. For me, when it comes to people wanting to change the way they look, like permanently modifying your nose, it's a bit of a no no for me. But that's me. Other people can do what they want because it is their life. Do I agree with what they are doing? No, not really but at the same time I understand that people may not always settle for what is there. I respect that. You can't always please people and even if you tried, there will always be those that disagree with you. In loving yourself, you should take into account what you think instead of others. :) Of course, our decisions aren't always right.
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
I like that point you brought up. In loving yourself you have to look at it from your point of view as in what you like about you and not by what others like. For me, changing yourself to suit the standards of others will inevitably turn you into something you're not. Which is obviously what you don't want to happen.
@blogger01 (124)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
glee.. I haven't watched glee since I became so busy at work.. I shouldn't have missed that episode that you have mentioned. I think loving yourself is a good thing but not the extent that you will just ignore your short comings. There may be things that we can't change but I know that there is something that we can do about it. I agree that we should be over comfortable with ourselves for us to see what is missing, to know what we should change and to plan to become better.
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hey there blogger01! You really should watch again! Glee is really picking up these past couple of episodes. But I wont say anything cos I don't wanna spoil anything for you. :) But on to your comment. That is exactly what I want to say with my post! :) I'm not saying its bad to love yourself. Quite the contrary, you should love yourself and accept who you are. That way, if you see something you want to improve one, you're free to do so. But the concept of being "better" be defined by you and no one else. I just don't agree with people who use their "acceptance" of who they are as a way to ignore what flaws they have. Again, thanks so much for summarizing how I feel and what I wanted to say with my post! :)
• Argentina
28 Apr 11
I'm agree with you. Some other above me said that you should be what you want for yourself, not to please other. And most of the time, we want to change us because of us, because we are the ones don't like what is seeing, because we want feeling better with ourselves, not to please others. Many times I said to my mom or friends that I wanted a nose job or a haircut and always, they told me that I was perfect, I don't needed anything, but I just wanted to do that for me, because I wasn't happy. I hate when people try to supress yourself saying, you're ok, you don't need anything, you should be happy with who you are, blah, blah. But, I'm not happy, why I can't do anything to feel a bit better with myself, to be at least a bit happy with what I have, to have at least a bit of confidence? Why it is bad trying to do something to improve myself if I want this? I think self-confidence is important and can be something significant, but many times I see this people as arrogants without knowing is just self-confidence. Is hard to handle self-confidence also.
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hmmm. Well personally I don't see aesthetic surgery as a way to "improve" one's self. You must have taken my post the wrong way because I'm in no way a supporter of aesthetic surgery. What I am trying to send across with my message is for people not to be too comfortable with their short comings. You should accept who you are, but not to the point that you give up at improving yourself. And the improvement I am talking about is improvement through hard work and honest effort. I'm not in any way forcing my opinion on you though, thats just as bad as me setting my own standards for you to follow. But remember what SpikeTheLobster said, we have to look and see what we want ourselves to be, the way we define ourselves and not by what others see and want to see. If I may, I suggest you watch the latest episode of Glee. Rachel wanted a nose job too. :)
@misterMR (797)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Acceptance is really a hard thing to accept. However, if one is a religious person, it would seem okay for them because the start of thinking about acceptance is having this envious feeling towards your friends. Feeling insecure. That is the last commandment actually. You have to accept who and what you are, because you are unique in His eyes. True, one person cannot please everyone. If you want to be accepted, you have to accept who you really are first. However, if one is feeling too accepted, over-confident and well respected, one could become a very boastful and proud person, which is the bad side.
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Thanks for sharing misterMR! :) True, you have to accept who and what you are because He made you that way. Don't you think accepting such things will somewhat keep you from actually doing something to improve yourself in that respect? I mean, true, we should love ourselves. But from my point of view, we should love ourselves enough to make us constantly want to be better. Not by people's standards, but yours. Right?
28 Apr 11
There's a big difference between coming to terms with who you are and measuring yourself by other people's standards. Who says you're short? Who says you're not smart? Where do you get the "standard" that you're measuring against? The important thing is to decide who and what you want to be, for yourself. Not to please other people or to fit in or to follow a trend or marketing idea... for you and you alone. Once you know what you want to be, you can push yourself to achieve it and then to surpass it and be even better. But your standards should never be defined by peer pressure and (worst of all) marketing departments' ideas of how you should be. To be honest, it amuses me endlessly to see TV programs - which bluntly refuse to show anyone on screen who is not gorgeous, charming, talented, etc. - talking about accepting yourself. Actors, models and other celebs are generally the most fake people in the world... I'd rather listen to advice from someone with a brain and education than someone with a Colgate smile.
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
Hi there SpikeTheLobster! Thanks for sharing your view. I like what you said about knowing by what standard you should define yourself by. Its true, one should always move towards one's betterment. But one must always define himself by his own view and not by anyone else's. Otherwise, what you're doing is merely conforming to what people decide you should be and not by what you want to be - not really my idea of self improvement. Again, really nice of you to share that. :)
@_sketch_ (5709)
• United States
25 Jun 11
There is a quote from a song I really like that fits this subject. "Be natural, be yourself, but see yourself as others see you." I don't believe that being comfortable with who you are at this moment, makes you not want to try to accomplish things for yourself and grows a person. I do not believe that we should identify with the ego. We should not want to change aspects about ourself because we don't like who/what we are, but because we know that both we and the world may benefit from it. Accepting things for what they are does not mean clinging onto things and wanting them to never change.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
28 Apr 11
Self confidence caan do so much to your life. it can lift you up and motivate you to achieve the success you seek. if can also dissolution you if you allow it control the way of your path. too much self confidence can be as much of a deterrence as not havig enough.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
28 Apr 11
Hi!! I think that when we get confortable or maybe not too humble and say to our selves: okay I'm good now, I don't need to grow or change anything. Then we'll slow down and that's exactly when fear will come in. In the path of growth that we gain self-confidence, and confident people are contituously asking question, they just don't sit and think it's all good. I think when we are not a source, and a source is being a giving person, that for others and for us we grow, we open too much space to fear come in. A person with too much fear can't be confident. Of course that fearless people doesn't exist. When Jolie said that in an interview I laughed, she's lying and wants to show off. We don't have a fear today maybe, but we have fears from time to time, totally illogical and new, it's not real it's only in our minds but they come...if we continue to confront a new fear they always disappear.