I might be being petty, but....
By Loverbear
@Loverbear (4918)
United States
April 29, 2011 4:21pm CST
It hasn't been an easy month. I am darned glad it's over!!! I guess I should fill everyone in.
First, stupid me, I loaned my "sister" some of my jewelry to pawn. I thought that the money was going to go for something essential, like food. Wow do I have my head in a big black hole that no one wants their head to be!!! She wanted the money to go out and blow it to "feel good". The stuff has been in pawn since August of last year. She promised that as soon as she got her money from her student loans and grants that I would have my jewelry back. You know how soon that happened. I now have to cut my budget back to the bear bones so that I can recover the jewelry that she pawned...that is if I want to keep family heirlooms and personal favorite pieces. 
Secondly, she big timed me to let her go along with me last Wednesday so that we could do "sister fun stuff". Yeah, RIGHT! I had doctor's appointments and then she was "HUNGRY" so I ended up feeding her. Yes, I know, I am as dumb as the bottom side of a rock. She tagged along with me to preview an auction that I was going to that night. She wanted to go to the auction since she had never been to one. I recently got back into the selling of collectibles so that I could make ends meet. It's been going pretty good, but isn't totally on it's feet yet. Well she went to the preview and found a ton of stuff she wanted (mind you she has NO money as she blows it before the 10th of each month.) and was trying to get me to bid on the stuff for her. She'd pay me back payday (no, I don't know which payday). Then she started nagging about stupid stuff like where my boyfriend was going to sit at the auction (we can reserve seats). I finally blew a gasket and tossed everything down and stormed into the office and wrote a reserved for sign for my boyfriend's seat. She went crying out to the car because I got mad....
I also dropped off stuff to the consignment shop that I have my stuff in. My "sister" decided that she would be just like me and put stuff into consignment and make a ton of money. I heard about that for three hours. Of course she didn't go into the shop to see what kind of stuff is in the shop. Anyhow, I was relieved when we got to the auction and she plunked her butt into a chair and actually shut up for two and a half seconds.
Fast forward through the auction. I did get some stuff to resell. One box in particular I paid over $80 for. It was a box of jewelry from an estate. When I started collecting my purchases my "sister" glombed onto that box and started digging through it furiously. I told her that I wanted to be the first one to go through it. She said yep and kept digging. We got to the car and she was still digging and again I firmly stated that I wanted to be the first to go through the box. Again I got a "YEP", and when I went inside to ge the big items she was digging again!!! I came out to the car and there she was on her big butt digging through the box of jewelry that I told her not to. I came close to flipping out. I went in to get the last of the stuff and when I got into the car, exhausted, she put a big pile of stuff in my hand and said "I WANT THIS STUFF"!!! You have to know this twit, she NEVER keeps anything for more than a week, and I knew that the stuff she picked out was for gifts (or should I say FREE gifts as she never does pay me for the stuff. Plus she picked out the really good pieces of jewelry for the stuff she wants.) Needless to say, I am pissed beyond belief. I haven't spoken to her since last Wednesday and probably won't for quite a while. NO she isn't getting the jewelry. It was my money that paid for the stuff, and she hasn't done anything towards paying for the stuff of mine that she pawned.
I will establish a couple of things. First, she isn't a blood sister. We had been really good friends until her mind ended up focused on men and her crotch. Secondly, she is the size of a house! She sits all day and eats like crazy. She has gained a ton of weight...she hardly fits in the front seat of my Escort wagon. I couldn't figure out why the radio was continually turning on, until I realized that it was her leg that was bumping my coffee mug. She used to be about 275 and has grown to over 390. She makes no effort to lose the weight even though the doctors have told her that the obesity will kill her. She eats like a vacuum cleaner. I won't go past that...
I keep wondering if I was wrong in getting upset about her digging through the box of jewelry I bought at the auction. Especially since I DIDN'T give her permission to dig through it, and told her numerous times to keep her fingers out of the stuff. Would you guys be upset???
Secondly, she big timed me to let her go along with me last Wednesday so that we could do "sister fun stuff". Yeah, RIGHT! I had doctor's appointments and then she was "HUNGRY" so I ended up feeding her. Yes, I know, I am as dumb as the bottom side of a rock. She tagged along with me to preview an auction that I was going to that night. She wanted to go to the auction since she had never been to one. I recently got back into the selling of collectibles so that I could make ends meet. It's been going pretty good, but isn't totally on it's feet yet. Well she went to the preview and found a ton of stuff she wanted (mind you she has NO money as she blows it before the 10th of each month.) and was trying to get me to bid on the stuff for her. She'd pay me back payday (no, I don't know which payday). Then she started nagging about stupid stuff like where my boyfriend was going to sit at the auction (we can reserve seats). I finally blew a gasket and tossed everything down and stormed into the office and wrote a reserved for sign for my boyfriend's seat. She went crying out to the car because I got mad....
I also dropped off stuff to the consignment shop that I have my stuff in. My "sister" decided that she would be just like me and put stuff into consignment and make a ton of money. I heard about that for three hours. Of course she didn't go into the shop to see what kind of stuff is in the shop. Anyhow, I was relieved when we got to the auction and she plunked her butt into a chair and actually shut up for two and a half seconds.
Fast forward through the auction. I did get some stuff to resell. One box in particular I paid over $80 for. It was a box of jewelry from an estate. When I started collecting my purchases my "sister" glombed onto that box and started digging through it furiously. I told her that I wanted to be the first one to go through it. She said yep and kept digging. We got to the car and she was still digging and again I firmly stated that I wanted to be the first to go through the box. Again I got a "YEP", and when I went inside to ge the big items she was digging again!!! I came out to the car and there she was on her big butt digging through the box of jewelry that I told her not to. I came close to flipping out. I went in to get the last of the stuff and when I got into the car, exhausted, she put a big pile of stuff in my hand and said "I WANT THIS STUFF"!!! You have to know this twit, she NEVER keeps anything for more than a week, and I knew that the stuff she picked out was for gifts (or should I say FREE gifts as she never does pay me for the stuff. Plus she picked out the really good pieces of jewelry for the stuff she wants.) Needless to say, I am pissed beyond belief. I haven't spoken to her since last Wednesday and probably won't for quite a while. NO she isn't getting the jewelry. It was my money that paid for the stuff, and she hasn't done anything towards paying for the stuff of mine that she pawned.
I will establish a couple of things. First, she isn't a blood sister. We had been really good friends until her mind ended up focused on men and her crotch. Secondly, she is the size of a house! She sits all day and eats like crazy. She has gained a ton of weight...she hardly fits in the front seat of my Escort wagon. I couldn't figure out why the radio was continually turning on, until I realized that it was her leg that was bumping my coffee mug. She used to be about 275 and has grown to over 390. She makes no effort to lose the weight even though the doctors have told her that the obesity will kill her. She eats like a vacuum cleaner. I won't go past that...
I keep wondering if I was wrong in getting upset about her digging through the box of jewelry I bought at the auction. Especially since I DIDN'T give her permission to dig through it, and told her numerous times to keep her fingers out of the stuff. Would you guys be upset???4 people like this
9 responses
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Okay, you're joking, right? After all you say she's done with YOUR money and the many times you've evidently fallen for her money requests, should you get upset over her pawing through YOUR purchases and deciding SHE wants the best of the lot? You better believe you should be upset!
In fact, you should be writing up one heck of a bill by now and taking her to court to recover your losses.
By the way, it might be a good idea to STAY AWAY FROM HER as she seems to be fascinated only with your pocketbook and possessions.
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
1 May 11
You are absolutely right about all of it. In fact Bill (my sweetheart and boyfriend) has stated that he will no longer drive me over to her apartment, pick her up to take her someplace, or do anything else for the woman. He is deeply insulted and insensed at the treatment I have received at her hand, especially after he had me crying on his chest when we got home. (I cried all the way home from town last night out of anger, frustration, and hurt.) I assurred him that he won't have to do something that he doesn't want to do. He also will NOT dine with the woman again. He has a funny thing about not eating with people that he doesn't care for. She has hit his list!
As for me, I made the appointment for paying the intrest on my jewelry that is in pawn and get the pawn tickets so that I can recover my jewelry and actually have it home again. It is leaving me at the point that I don't have enough left to buy an extra roll of tp, but at least I can start getting my possessions back.
I called her today to make the appointment for Monday, and I wasn't the friendly self...she knows something is up but she doesn't know what. She did ask if I went through the box of jewelry...I told her NO. I am having bad problems holding my temper when I simply look at the box of jewelry...I have a bad problem trying to keep from throwing the box across the room! After we do the pawn shop and I have the pawn tickets in my hand, she is getting a letter from me explaining "why" this is happening and that I need time to cool off and recover both emotionally and physically.
As I have said so many times, thank you for your help. I don't consider any of the "responses" as that, they were people helping me through a difficult time and a difficult decision. Thank you!
@SomniatorIdealist (84)
• Pakistan
29 Apr 11
I would definitely be mad.....its not your fault,she was literally pushing you.
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
30 Apr 11
Being this upset has really opened my eyes a LOT of things that she is doing, and I am realizing that she is playing a huge game. By playing this game she is sucking a lot of people emotionally dry! I think about it and I get furious! One bonus for me is getting this furious I get tons of stuff done simply because I need to work off the anger so I can address the situation in a calm rational manner.
I finally got a good night's sleep, and I woke up realizing how wrong everything has been with her. I have stopped doing a lot of things I love to do, which is very painful because I am a very artistic person, and am on a total emotional roller coaster because of this woman. She will call crying her eyes out and screaming that she wants a divorce from her husband and then an hour later she is looking for a present for the man. I never know what to expect from her emotionally, which for anyone the situation would be emotionally draining. I realized big time she needs to GROW UP big time.
Thank you so much for your help. It isn't just a response for this discussion, it is truely help in so many ways, it is help in making a very difficult decission. Thank you!
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
30 Apr 11
OMG! You hit the nail right on the head! You have summed it up so beautifully and it is something that I never would have thought of myself! Your statement of "a great black hole of 'want' " is going to be a staple of my collection of statements. Thank you so much!!!
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Oh my loverbear, if anything you were too easy on her, if it was me, she'd be out of there in no time at all; she probably wouldn't have made it to the auction..So when you say she is your sister, but not a blood sister, does this mean you are step-sisters, or were just really close friends?
I think it is time to step back and move on without her in your life, because she is not good for you at all...
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
30 Apr 11
She is just a really close friend...except in my book really close friends don't pull what she has been pulling. It seems like I am more like her keeper than a friend. When I suggest something to her it is the kind of attitude of "You do it for me, I'm important and don't do things like that. Plus I am a college student and I don't have time for the piddly stuff like applying for my disability-you do it!"
I can count on you to have the same temperament that I have. I was biting off my words when I spoke to her, but it went over her head. I got down to "see the cat" language when I told her that this was my business and I needed to pay attention to what I was doing and that I wasn't there to see how much crap I could bid on, I needed to buy stuff that would work in the shop that I am selling out of. It didn't sink in either. While the auction was going on I kept hearing the "OOOH I WANT THAT, BID ON IT"...I fortunately chose to ignore it. If she had been my child she would be sitting out in the car in a time out because I wouldn't put up with the "I WANTS" from my daughter either.
As I have said, the relationship is going to cool off very rapidly and very suddenly and she is going to wonder why, and I may very likely tell her in no uncertain terms. Right down to her wanting stuff from me, keeping it a couple weeks and then giving it to someone else, especially when I tell her if she doesn't want it to give it back. I will hear from her "I didn't want the chest anymore so I gave it to my cousin, did you want it back???" Like I'm going to say yes and hurt her cousin! Come to think of it, I never had the amount of the I wants from my daughter that I hear from this friend!.
Well, it is almost time for me to crawl in bed. I had a long tough day between getting shots in the shoulder and knee joints and other first of the month duties. Plus suddenly having the situation overwhelm me and my crying all the way home...and beating the daylights out of my steering wheel has worn me out too.(I am very surprised at how sturdy those things are...I really whacked the daylights out of the thing..)
I haven't forgotten you. I'll send you a PM and let you know what has been going on on top of this "close friend".
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Girl! That's no friend! That's a leech!! She's sucking you dry in every way that she can! She's taking your energy, sanity, money, food and God knows what else! Let this 'thing' leech go!! She's toxic! Self centered! My gosh! For your sake, pull this leech off and send her on her way!
And NO!! You had EVERY right to be upset with her!! No means NO! No doesn't EVER mean yes!! She took advantage of you because she knew she could! Send her on her way!
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
3 May 11
DAMN Loverbear.... Whew, that woman is obviously toxic and toxic to your health. It's now Tuesday, did you give her that letter yesterday? I sure hope you did girl! You'll never find any peace with that type around you. She's going to kill you if you don't end it. Seriously. So what happened yesterday? Do tell!
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
29 Apr 11
Hi Loverbear! I would definitely have been more than upset if I were you!
In fact, I would have grabbed the box from her immediately and possibly
left her there! And she isn't even your blood sister? I wouldn't ever
help her again no matter. If she is lazy and a parasite that is not your
problem! She doesn't deserve the things that you've already done for her.
If she can't work or manage her money it isn't your job to take care of
her. I would put my foot down (or up her butt)! I would tell her once and
for all that you are not her "caretaker, her meal ticket or anything else
and she needs to stand on her own two feet and stop sponging off of you!
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
1 May 11
I would have left her there if I had thought of it, but her fanny was firmly planted in front seat of the car. It would have taken a crane to remove her from the car if I was going to leave her there. (She weighs nearly 400 pounds and doesn't really fit in the front seat of my Ford Escort Wagon. Her thighs not only fill the seat but they flow over into the gear shift area, the cup holders and when she gets into the car they actually turn on the radio! I had originally wanted to get a Mazda Miata...but she would have gotten in but I would have had to call the rescue squad with the jaws of life and a crane to get her back out! When I first met her she weighed about 225 and now she is pushing 400 lbs. She went from a size 1x to a size 5x. There is one store in our area that handles clothes that big...but I am getting off the subject.
As you can figure, putting my foot up her butt is prohibitative. I might get it up there but recovering it would probably take surgery. I decided last night that she is on her own and that I will NOT be accepting the number of calls that she makes to me per week, and that I will NOT tollerate her emotional roller coaster that she puts me through each time she calls. I have heard chapter and verse about her husband, her boyfriend that she is having an affair with, the difference in the sizes of their members (putting it nicely) and how broke they are. But of course at the first of the month she is telling me what she has bought. Now she thinks that I am going to take her to more auctions. There is one on the fifteenth of this month, and she asked if I was going when I called her to make the appointment to pay the interest and get the pawn tickets on my jewelry. I told her NO, what I didn't tell her was I wouldn't take her if she paid me a million dollars to do so.
She is not only lazy, a parasite, she is also an emotional vampire feeding off all the sympathy and response from the people whose shoulders she cries on. My health won't take that kind of thing, and it effects my favorite activities of designing jewelry and making teddy bears. By cutting the cord I am almost starting to feel the urge again.
Thank you for all the help. I don't consider the people that have responded to my problem as "responding" to my discussion. I consider it as helping me make the tough decission about a miserable problem. Thank you so much!
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
29 Apr 11
You are not at all wrong to be angry. I do have a blood relative that is almost that bad. I do not think I would take her anywhere with me at all. She sounds like a total nut case.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
30 Apr 11
The amount of time wasted on her is going to be cut down enormously! I have caller ID on the phone so I won't answer her calls, and I sure am not going to take her out anymore...except that I do have to take her to the pawn shop to get the paperwork changed over to my name so I can get my stuff back.
I had a good hysterical cry on the way home tonight (after getting injections in my left shoulder and right knee) and pounded the steering wheel a LOT! (It's amazing how sturdy they make steering wheels!) I am feeling much better and will be crawling off to bed soon and will be sleeping an exhausted sleep but a better sleep than I have had in the past few days.
Thank you for your answer! Giving should be at the option of the person who owns the item. I was always taught that it was rude to ask for possessions of another person without that person offering. (It's also tough to type with a cat asleep on your hand! Willy knows I am upset and he won't leave me by myself for anything!)
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
30 Apr 11
I don't think u are being petty at all & being upset would be putting it mildly if i was in your situation. She doesn't sound like she's anyone i would even want to know much less be around. Think u better wake up & smell the flowers, she is using u & taking big advantage of u.
