last night my daughter ruined my great day..

United States
May 2, 2011 9:32am CST
we spent the entire day together and it was great. we scrubbed the house and talked and laughed and last night we went to see tylor perry;s new movie. We laughed and had a great time. then her darn phone rings and it was the loser in jail. she ran out of money and came in the movies and asked me to put money on her phone and she will give me back the money. All I could do was look at her like she was crazy. I had my rent money in my purse and she was not getting that. It ruined the rest of the night because she sat there crying and it pissed me off. We dropped her home and I did not even say goodnight to her. I don't know what to do about this girl and this guy. The movie was great and I recommend you go see it.
3 people like this
19 responses
• United States
2 May 11
Hey glad to hear the movies was fun. I was thinking about seeing it also. As for KK, you did right she will have to understand eventually, that if she wants to continue in this type of relationship, she will have to do so on her own. I am glad you did not give in to her with the thought of refilling her minutes, after all when we love we do the impossible. Although we know the relationship is not healthy for her maybe at some point she will find that not only is it unhealthy but expensive too. lol Wished it had not ruined your evening but at least you did not enable her behavior with the boyfriend.
@GardenGerty (96662)
• Marion, Kansas
2 May 11
I think you may be will have to expect Kk to push it every time you are together. She is testing the limits. We are all here to say stand your ground and please enjoy the good parts of your activities together, separate from the loser.
• United States
2 May 11
I am glad I did as well. I am sitting here all broke inside thinking about her birthday money.
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
2 May 11
I kind'a understand your concern, it is a very delicate situation that whomever this 'looser' is, it's still a very important person to her. Whatever the situation is, I think talking to the daughter straight to the point and letting her know your feelings about the situation might give her a better understanding of why you feel the way you do which is very much respected and justified since you're in charge as far as I can understand. Don't worry about it, you don't need to do anything about them, things will follow their normal path, you just do whatever it's in your hands, no more, no less.
• United States
2 May 11
She was almost killed by this man and all she wants is me to be loving him like she loves him.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
4 May 11
Unfortunately, your daughter is at the age that you really can not control the people that she spends time with in her life. The only thing that you can do is what you did do and that is not giving money to her. If it is so important for her to be able to talk to the man that hit her, then she needs to come up with a way that she can have money of her own. Yes, that means that she needs to look for a part time job. It might sound harsh, but I really believe that is what she should do so that she can further express her independence.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117155)
• Boise, Idaho
3 May 11
THanks for the reccomendation. He is very talented isn't he? I am certainly sorry your evening was ruined. She should have a job and have the phone thing taken care of. I really doubt that you can do anything about your daughter and that guy. And if you try you are going to drive a wedge in between you both. Motherhood is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs we as women have in life. (You can quote me on that)
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
3 May 11
Oh Gifts, don't let this ruin your time with your daughter. We have all fallen for the wrong guy when we were young. I understand your concern and anger. I'm a parent too. Still, you know that as much as you push her to lose this guy then the more she'll push against you. You have to leave the door open for communication. You've already let it be known that you don't approve of this guy and she knows that. Now tell her that even though you don't approve of him...you are on her side. Tell her that you hope you are wrong in your opinion of him. You know the saying...keep your friends close...your enemies closer. That applies here. I'm glad that you did not give her your rent money. Just hug her and tell her you wish you could help her but can't. KK is smart. she'll figure it out.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
7 May 11
Gifts, I have to add and I did'nt pick up on this before, you said, "we dropped her off." Who is "we"? Please say it wasn't Adrian.
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
2 May 11
I know exactly what you mean. My daughter just turned 19. She married a loser guy straight out of high school when she was 18, that she only knew for one month. Now she is pregant. She hardly works. She calls in all of the time and the loser "husband" doesn't work and doesn't plan to. I did not raise her like that. She treats me, her mother, like crap! I try to help her and practically beg her to have a relationship with me, but it goes nowhere. He is top dog on her list. He cheats on her and dumps her all of the time. They do not even live together because he says they argue all of the time and he can't live with her. Why get married then?????? I wish she would dump him too but it will never happen! Them two are such drama.
• United States
4 May 11
My daughter told this bum about her lawsuit and I begged her not to and I know for a fact he will not leave her till it is gone. I feel sorry for her and she will suffer. I just hope she does not have any kids by him or they are screwed for life.
@Mickie30 (2633)
2 May 11
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and what happened. At the end of the day you have to put your foot down because you are her mother. Sometimes tough love is needed and that is very difficult to give when you love someone. You really are an inspiration and you should not let her get you down even though that is difficult. You have come a long way and you deserve rewards for coming this far with the difficulties you have been through.
• United States
4 May 11
I am trying to do my very best with her. she wants this man over anyting with me.
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
2 May 11
I can't wait to see the movie. I love Tyler Perry's movies. But as for your daughter, mine used to be the same way with a long distance relationship with a guy in Michigan. It can ruin a night most definately but it's a young heart. Puppy love kind of thing. Now if it doesn't pass I'll be surprised.
• United States
4 May 11
She is not in her right frame of mind she is in stupid not love she will learn one day when it is too late.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
2 May 11
you did right thing.She is young and naive women.She is failing to understand that she is in unhealthy relationship.May be she will grow up once day and understood why you oppose her relationship.
• United States
2 May 11
She will go through hell and high water first.
@GardenGerty (96662)
• Marion, Kansas
2 May 11
Good for you standing your ground. Your rent must be paid. He can sit in that jail. This amazes me that the jails let them make so many calls that last so long. I knew someone in our local jail. He could only use a calling card he bought at the shop in the jail to call. He could only call one night a week, during a certain time and after a certain length of time the call would be shut down, like fifteen minutes. That was it for the week. People are in jail because they did something bad. They do not need all the privileges of someone who is not in jail. I know not all jails are like this. My mom had a neighbor girl who had no phone. Mom let her use it. She gave it to her boyfriend in jail and would come sit at mom's house and would answer the phone "to help my mom" and would accept collect calls from the scum.
• United States
2 May 11
Those calls are so darn expensive and I am not the one to be spending my money to fund them. She needs to get a darn grip on life.
• Canada
21 Aug 11
Amazing that she looked at you like you were crazy when it's clear she's crazy for supporting the idiot in jail.
@QeeGood (1214)
• Sweden
3 May 11
I believe the man in jail knows your daughter's weakness. He is using his power over her wisely even when he is in jail. I do not know the age of your daughter, but how about to confront her with common sense about her own responsibility for living her own life in a healthy way. She has to take charge of her own life, not have a man in jail to rule her life. It was good you stood your point about your money. Glad the movie was great!
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
3 May 11
I know it's hard..believe me...my daughter is 17. They are so self absorbed it is like no one else lives in the world except for them. The b/f's take first seat and I think you did the right thing. You keep showing her if she continues the relationship..it will be on her own..that you are there for her..but not for him.
@watergirl (569)
• Philippines
3 May 11
I guess it's very tough for a mother to see her daughter wasting time and tears on that kind of guy. I don't have a daughter (yet!) but I know I'll have to brace myself for things to come. I hope your daughter will grow out of this madness soon.
@vangie26 (449)
• Philippines
3 May 11
You have just have to give your daughter a heart to heart talk. She must understand that you are just thinking of her future. What you want is just a peaceful life.
@yoyo1198 (3644)
• United States
3 May 11
You are the mother and she is still a minor. You can take out a protection warrant and legally stop him from contacting her? You are not without recourse, gifts.
• United States
3 May 11
I recommend you let her settle things her way, however do not give her any money to help her fund this relationship. If she isn't funding her jailfriend then he will probably lose interest. The most you can do is let her learn her lesson on her own.
@carolscash (9501)
• United States
3 May 11
I am glad that the two of you had a good day together. I am also glad that you stood your ground and didn't give her the money that she wanted. She needs to realize that you have your reasons for not liking this guy and that she needs to see that he is not good for her. Why can he call a cell phone anyway if he is in jail? I would try to talk to her and explain to her that you are doing this because you love her and don't want to see her hurt. You can use your recent experience to tell her that no matter how much you love Adrian, you can't be with him as he abused you as her loser has done to her.
@tink91879 (746)
• United States
2 May 11
I can understand how it ruined your day, but I think it didnt ruin the whole thing. you still have the memories of the good time during the day. its sad she feels he is the best she can do. I dont fully understand your situation since I havent been it and I hope I dont, but having a daughter and a son Im sure to run across things that will be dissapointing in relationships. I think you not giving her the money was the best thing you cld do. if she wants to bail him out than thats her choice not yours. Your not condoning this behavior. Your showing your love and support for your daughter and that you will be there for her, but will not help out someone who will only bring her down. Good job on standing up and saying no, especially after her selfishness and crying trying to upset you. She needs to see the good you have done for her and the love you have for you. I hope she appriciates the day you guys had togeather and figures out this guy is no good.