Can we change others?

@mallu30 (463)
India
May 10, 2011 6:47am CST
One of my weekness is that I always try to change others' behaviour and used to be rarely successful. These failures make me restless and feel like failure. I may think that I can change the whole world. But I realise that it is not possible at any cost. I think it may be better to improve myself and not the whold world. I will try my level best hereafter.
3 people like this
17 responses
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
10 May 11
Good to figure out that you can not change anyone. You can not do this no matter what. You can offer ideas of something that has helped you in an issue they may be having, but you can not change anyone per say. It has to be their own thoughts and process. You would not change from promptings of others, you might even get annoyed.
1 person likes this
• China
10 May 11
I think it is normal for us to make others agree with us,especially when we have some different ideas with others and all ideas seem to have some reasons.Just some days ago,I argued with my girlfriend about whether she should move to another place where she was going to work.We could not reach agreement until her leader called her today ,telling her that she needn't move.During the disagreement,I felt upset when we discussed and didn't have the same idea. Actually,after that,I thind it doesn't matter whether we could not convince others to do something,because everyone of us should has his own thinking.What's more important is that we should respect each other.Therefore,you needn't feel restless or failure.Find the pleasure from the difference. Wish you happy on mylot.
@in212857 (67)
• India
10 May 11
You can never change someone It is only the degree of love or hate which can vary upon time which tends to change the behavior of person towards other person If you will care u will get care and love
1 person likes this
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
11 May 11
I found that "no two persons are thinking same in all aspects". We can give our level best and be peaceful. We can change the things with our love and smile only. But our personal life is also so important for us....
@bird123 (10525)
• United States
11 May 11
The first thing you need to do is understand change. People don't like to change. Next, do you want to change people for the glory of changing them?? Seeking glory has never been a reason to do anything. Now to change someone, simple point them in the right direction everytime you see them. Move a little sand everytime. If you do this, one day you will discover that they have changed only they will tell you it was their idea all along. So much for glory. I move my sand and never worry whether the person will change for it might be something said by someone else that will be the final change. Everyone was needed in the process. In conclusion, one is never a failure interacting with others. It'a all a learning experience.
• United States
11 May 11
It is very hard to change someone when they have been doing something so long. You can however, make them aware of their behavior. This will make them at least attept to try not to do whatever it is they are doing. But most people don't want to change. They feel comfortable the way they are.
@moirai (2261)
• Philippines
10 May 11
Hmm... what do you mean by you always try to change others' behavior? How? When I see other people who behaves in a way that I believe is not appropriate, sometimes I say something and sometimes I don't... First of all, it depends on how close I am or how comfortable I am talking with that person, and how receptive I think that person would be to me. But even if I feel I can say anything to that person, I still try not to dictate what the other person should do. Instead, my approach is to say what I would do in such situations. That way, I hope to avoid hurting the person's feelings, while at the same time I still give that person a different perspective from their own. And maybe that will make them change their ways, but if not, at least I have done my part. The important thing is to give others the opportunity to learn from you, as you from them.
• Mexico
10 May 11
Hi mallu: I think that trying to change somebody's behaviour is a difficult decision, especially because it's not up to you to make change happend. You can offer someone an advice, show him/her the different option he/she has, but to make someone change he/she also needs to understand that he/she has to change. Otherwise, you'll probably fail in your try. So you can do it but you have to understand that the final choice is not in you. You don't have the power but making an effort to try to change someone you love really worth it. ALVARO
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
10 May 11
Hi mallu, Why not? We can surely change others, I mean bring changes in the general nature of a person. But for that we have to have the quality in us. Just fancy who you will listen to when you are in trouble? Surely the man who you think/though worth consulting. We can not change others negative aspects if we too are there clandestinely. We can approach our quarreling neighbor only when they know that we do not bang things and create a scene. First thing we need to develop ourselves with self development and own the reliability and faith of people and I bet if not all most people would change.
• India
10 May 11
listen mallu every one has there own mentality ............u cant change every one ...and yes every one has good or bad habbit........or they both are must in all people for running that entire world..........or then also if you want to change them too so i would like to suggest you to try to show them your best quality which they not have comparitively tell knw them what the disquality they have...........try it once that will work..........
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
10 May 11
Hi mallu , if you change for some one or for some purpose,that means you are giving happiness to them, but if you try to change others i.e, it may be forceful , a forceful thing can never be a permanent solution, and one thing is nice of you is that you realized what you are, and that's makes you rectify yourself.
@orang13 (723)
• Philippines
10 May 11
People don't change, they just reveal themselves. And it will be revealed according to what situation they are, they are just adapting. You cannot simply change anyone, but they may adapt to you -- to your influence. Well, you are not the only person that surrounds him/her but there are a lot others and as he/she combines everything that he/she learned from the situation, that's how he become. And you changing the world is too impossible for you to see really. An individual is not enough, even society will not be. But you may find some difference from what you're doing into yourself. Look at you now, after you thought of changing everybody, you are now changing yourself. You have just realized that its better to improve yourself! :) goodluck in finding yourself. Nobodys a failure so don't worry!
@polaris77 (2031)
• Bacau, Romania
10 May 11
I think it's very difficult to change other people's behaviour;we can have influence in changing some aspects of a person,but to make drastic changes doesn't sound reasonable to me,it would a time-consuming and maybe useless activity if there weren't any relevant results,so I usually try to take people as they are,since I realized some time ago that I can't change the world,and frankly,I hate it when others try to change me,so I think it's best to accept others with their own qualities and flaws instead of wasting time and energy when attempting to change them.
• Bahrain
10 May 11
Hi there! You can't change someone. You are not responsilbe with them. You can only give advices but you will never change someones' attitude or behavior. Remember the saying.. "Improvement begins with I"..Changes will happen through the effort of ourself, we are the one responsible for our own life. Good day! Enjoy life. =)
@annc78 (34)
• Philippines
10 May 11
You can never change the whole world, or people around you, because we have all our free will to do anything we want, to think anything we want to think and to be who we like to be. And even you will successfully changed a person, it won't last long. It will take maybe after a year or two they come back to who they are. Only time and experience can change one person, when they are older and experienced the road of life, that's the only way a person can change. By natural way...
@annc78 (34)
• Philippines
10 May 11
You can never change the whole world, or people around you, because we have all our free will to do anything we want, to think anything we want to think and to be who we like to be. And even you will successfully changed a person, it won't last long. It will take maybe after a year or two they come back to who they are. Only time and experience can change one person, when they are older and experienced the road of life, that's the only way a person can change. By natural way...
@nezavisima (7417)
• Bulgaria
10 May 11
I think that you can hardly changed man.Everyone is different raised differently.I think we can change anyone but to give tips to someone.